[ SECRET POST #2527 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2527 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #361.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[bringreligiontothewamwams]

A parent who is doing parenting.

They are expected to move their kids along the process to self sufficient adulthood. Getting them to start doing household chores and realizing that in adulthood lodgings need paid for, cause at 20 years old that ain't a bloody kid that is a young adult, is the type of person who makes them pay for lodgings.

If the young adult in question doesn't learn that living at home gets progressively uncomfortable and demands more and more time/money as they age then they end up a 30yr child in an adult's body and an all around entitled brat. Dishes for lodgings is something I'd expect starting at 16, a twenty yr old should be doing more than just that. The only mistake Cinderella's stepmother made was not getting her own brats sharing the scrubbing duties with Cinders.

[ill_omened]

Forced petty labour is the worst form of encouraging self growth, and self actulisation.

If you're leaving it until they're twenty and they're in that state, either other factors exist, or you've already failed.

[bringreligiontothewamwams]

Forced petty labor or just doing the chores in exchange for a bed, call it what you will.

I'll agree that just starting them off with doing the damn dishes at 20 is a pretty big failure though. Like I said, that is the sort of thing that should start at 16, or maybe even 12. A 20 year old adult should be doing a lot more than just the dishes if they are still living at their parent's home instead of getting one of their own. They should have been prepared for it long ago, but better late than never, and better 20 than leaving it to 30.

[ill_omened]

Nah.

Constant chores take away from critical time enoying their childhood, and focusing on studying, which matters a tad more than learning to do the dishes right. And makes the family realationship more one of love based upon productivity.

[bringreligiontothewamwams]

That is just hippy bullshit. You start childhood off doing chores together, then gradually give the child their own chores to do themselves on their own. Kids will enjoy their childhood regardless of schooling and chores, they manage it in Singapore and S. Korea, its a parents job to get their kid shaped up to be an adult capable of handling responsibilities. All this crap about sheltering them to enjoy childhoods just generated the biggest generation of 30 year old pre-teens and indulged brats in history. Kids know how to enjoy themself, they need to be taught chores.

[ill_omened]

You mean the South Korea and Singapore that has kids constantly having breakdowns because of exam pressure.

That's not an ideal social model.

[bringreligiontothewamwams]

Only a few are swinging the lead like that, most of them get their head down. Once they get shown that faking an illness won't get them out of the chores they get with the programme. They don't mollycoddle their kids, which is one of the reasons they own just about everything else these days. And they still find time to respect their parents and family.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

You should prolly add "age-appropriate" in front of "chores" to make your point clearer? When I was a little kid, I wasn't expected to do the dishes, but I did play/pretend to do so, in one side of the sink, as one of my parents was washing them for real in the other side. Or the "everything has a home" game where the kids are encouraged to pick up their toys after they're done playing (or have the kid "show" the parent where the toy goes, if they're really young).

Not forced labour, just teaching them how to get along in the world, in an age-appropriate way.

[nyxelestia]

Seconding this. I mean, it's not as if telling a kid to take twenty minutes out of their hours of playtime to fold the laundry or sweep the floor is somehow hindering their childhood. As kids get older, they need to take on more responsibilities - school, work, and chores at home.

I mean, I don't think anyone would consider it reasonable to be doing the dishes, the laundry, the mopping/vacuuming, and the cooking if you're 5. That is a little overbearing if they're 15, but often understandable depending on family circumstances. And that is something that seems pretty reasonable to expect out of a 25 year old still living at home, especially if they don't work/aren't contributing to the household financially.

[ariakas]

They least ideal part is that college-bound, educated Westerners, while far behind them in educational attainment by grade 12, surpass them by senior year of college, and are leaps ahead by the end of a graduate program (which is a large part of why you see so many East Asian graduate students transfer NA/European institutions if they have any serious plans to enter a field of academic research). What is the point drilling kindergarteners and driving middle schoolers to suicide so that they can get into a "good" (read: prestigious, not highly ranked internationally or rigorous) university and blow the whole time screwing around, because they know it's that piece of paper that's going to get them into a good job, not what they learned in college? What does it matter if some low-level HR manager at Hyundai got 97% on his 6th grade algebra test and not 85% - all of which he has forgotten, starting at about 18.

Moreover, looooool at people who think that these kids are doing lots of chores as well as hours of night school. That would take away from cramming time. No, their mothers do them. To the point where most Japanese/Korean men can't even do their own laundry, let alone cook something.

People commenting who don't know shit about shit is the way of the internet, though, I suppose.

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly this. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who sees this.

[(Anonymous)]

You're not exactly a child at twenty. If you were living in an apartment while going to university, you'd have to pay rent, buy food, do laundry and pick up after yourself: are you against that too?

[(Anonymous)]

Don't you have cleaning people? I'm not inclined to take anything you say seriously then.

[dancing_clown]

Oh, jesus. Nowhere were "constant chores" mentioned, and there's nothing wrong with giving your children chores (though, not as a requirement for living, obviously). It forms good habits that the kids will need when they're adults and it gives them something to be responsible for, promoting...responsibility.

If you can't see the difference between a kid with chores and forced laborers, that's a pretty big problem, but it's not on the part of parents who give their kids chores.

[nyxelestia]

My mom had the OP's mentality, that young children should have as much fun as possible because they're young children and they're going to grow up eventually, why take away from that?

Even at that age (~9+) I was dubious about this, and it was mostly negated by the fact my mother had depression and so I often ended up taking care of her (though outside of that I didn't do chores). Looking at the bad habits today I am struggling with, most of them root directly back to this mentality she had and applied to me. I'm not likely to ever have kids, but if I do, they'll be getting chores that they are expected to complete, precisely because I don't want them to end up like me.

[(Anonymous)]

I pretty much disagree with you. I wish my parents had made me do more chores when I was little. Then maybe I wouldn't have had so much trouble keeping my own home tidy now that I'm an adult. Making your child do the dishes or clean their room or even another room in the house is not the same as constant, petty chores, it's preparing them for adulthood. I mean, my mom and dad taught me how to cook, and that was some great family bonding time. Why couldn't they teach me how to keep my home tidy (or at least in a state where I can let people in without being ashamed of the mess)?

[(Anonymous)]

LOL. Obviously because I was expected to empty the dishwasher I was denied a proper family relationship and my studies suffered. Thank you for showing me the light of the abuse I ensured as a child.

(By the way, being assigned chores helps you learn responsibility, among other things. But you're probably one of those lazy, entitled brats that the OP is talking about.)

[(Anonymous)]

"Forced petty labor"? Are you under the impression OP's stepdaughter didn't just eat from those dishes, or that OP didn't cook the meal? It's called helping out at home.

[bringreligiontothewamwams]

Shush, we're counter-trolling each other and having fun doing so. You're ruining the game.