[ SECRET POST #2530 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2530 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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13. http://i.imgur.com/sXm4j5b.gif
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14. [SPOILERS for family guy]




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15. [SPOILERS for Doctor Who]




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16. [WARNING for abuse]





















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #361.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

holy internalized misogyny :(

[(Anonymous)]

That's such bullshit. Just because you don't want to be girly doesn't mean you can't appreciate girliness in other people. Butch lesbians must all be misogynists now? Get out.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

I agree with you, but the tone of this secret is very "girly things are bad, masculine things are super okay". Maybe that's not what OP meant, but that's definitely the message that I read.

[(Anonymous)]

No, the tone of the secret is

part 1: "oh my god how can I like girly things? aaaah i always hate girly things!"
part 2: "I'm supposed to be masculine, that's how I identify! What's happening to me? I'm having an identity crisis"

Everybody is focusing on the first part and ignoring the second, which changes the tone of the first part drastically.

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Eh, we read very different tones in the secret. Individual interpretation gets you every time.

[diet_poison]

the second, which changes the tone of the first part drastically.

I don't really agree with this. Part of the reason, I think, is that the second part could have stood on its own.

[fleshisyummy]

I think it's less of that and more the fact that the OP seems extremely distraught to like something that's coded "feminine" by society. A lot of times, society views liking "feminine" things as bad. I remember a guy at my high school became enraged when another guy implied that he liked Glee.

Think about it: a secret like this isn't all that surprising, but what if you saw the opposite, something like, "I'm extremely girly, so I am very distraught by the fact that I've become interested in wrestling." It would just seem bizarre.

[(Anonymous)]

No? It wouldn't seem bizarre at all. It's an identity thing. OP identifies as masculine, which OP has stated above even, and this is something outside of her given identity that is confusing her. It's not about girly things being bad, it's about her identifying as a masculine woman and suddenly finding something nonmasculine that she likes.

[fleshisyummy]

Maybe that's the problem. I think identifying as "feminine" or "masculine" is kind of dumb to begin with. Why not just like the things you like instead of worrying if you fit the definition of a societally molded term?

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Yup. I understand why some people do it, as it can be a sort of shorthand to describe yourself to others, but to be so upset and to make it an actual identity label is dumb to me.

[(Anonymous)]

This so much. And then OP would spare herself all the trouble.

[diet_poison]

This, definitely.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree overall she's definitely internalizing something

but

I think it's condescending to tell me that it's stupid to identify as feminine or masculine. People can identify as they like so long as they're not hurting anyone. Your views are not any more valid than someone with traditional ones.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, society usually treats feminine, girly things as "bad", especially if you don't gender-identify with that, i.e. people being masculine.

It's completely okay to identify as masculine and still like some girly things. I really wish society would chill the fuck out on that front.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

ah sorry, I should have phrased that much better:

I actually agree with you, but that's not what I was saying. It's the phrasing that really bothers me - OP literally HATES HERSELF for liking something girly because of HAVING to reaffirm masculinity. I'm detecting some really messed up stuff there, I might be projecting because I used to be just like that but I'm seeing the having to be masculine because being feminine is bad and if you ever like anything feminine that's awful and not someone you want to be. Of course OP might just not want to be feminine because that's not who she wants to be and that would be perfectly fine, but it's the "hating herself" and the "having to be masculine" that is setting off my alarm.

Sorry for sounding like a jerk the first time.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, but you have to understand, not everybody's identity is as easily changeable as that. If something happens to make you question yourself, isn't your first reaction "I'm not supposed to be doing, thinking, or feeling this"? It isn't who you want to be or are comfortable being, and a lot of people's knee-jerk reaction is wanting to reaffirm who they were before...

[(Anonymous)]

That's also true. Well, I can hope that OP doesn't really REALLY hates herself for that and that this is really just the kneejerk reaction and eventually she'll come to terms with the fact that it's okay to like whatever she likes regardless of being "girly", and that doesn't affect in the least who she is.

[(Anonymous)]

If something happens to make you question yourself, isn't your first reaction "I'm not supposed to be doing, thinking, or feeling this"?

no...? why on earth would it be? wtf do you even mean by "not supposed to be doing/thinking/feeling this"? you're "supposed" to be doing whatever you decide you want to do.

i literally don't even understand what you're trying to say here.

[(Anonymous)]

Being interested in a piece of media should not make anyone question their entire identity. Anyone who defines themselves by what they watch/read/buy is either avoiding something about themselves or is just boring as shit.

[(Anonymous)]

Holy jumping to conclusions.

[(Anonymous)]

I agree, this thread should go into the 'jumping to conclusions' entry in the dictionary...

[comradesmiler]

Holy random made up phrases that don't mean shit.

[silverau]

What the fuck is "made up phrases" supposed to mean? You think "internalized misogyny" is the only phrase made up by humans? Hint: it's not.

[diet_poison]

...seriously??? wow

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds like it.