fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2532 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2532 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... So they can laugh at you in the face. :(

The poor guidance counselor meant well, I'm sure, but yeah, that advice is a bit naive. Do guidance counselors not remember what it was like being a kid?

(I do agree to some extent that that IS an option, but it always depends on the situation and how you tell them how you feel.)

My first school swore by the philosophy that "I" messages solve everything. Sure, being told "I feel bad when you make fun of me" is going to make so much of of a difference. It's not as if getting you to feel bad is the whole reason kids make fun of each other to begin with. It's not as if some kids are actually mean.

Right? I mean, when someone bullies you and you tell them "I am sad because you do this", they'll probably go "Well I damn sure hope you are, that's why I'm doing it!".

I think "I messages" should only be applied to people who might actually care how you feel, and even then, carefully. I've had people use "I messages" to make me feel bad, not to make us come to a resolution. :/

100% agreed. I didn't have big issues with bullying in elementary school, though one time when I got into an argument with a classmate a teacher made us give each other an "I" message to solve it, and we were rolling our eyes so hard that at that point I think we were more sympathetic to each other than the teacher because of how dumb we both thought it was. It felt so superficial.

And, yes, I think the people who made this shit up completely missed the point. Of course bullying or teasing make you feel bad - that's why people do it

Yeah, kids in general take awhile to learn empathy, especially when they aren't being taught it at home, which applies to a lot of little monsters.

I have never met a school guidance counselor who wasn't completely worthless, and I suspect that's true of the whole pack of them.

[ SECRET POST #2532 ]

"Tell them how you feel"

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Re: "Tell them how you feel"