fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2532 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2532 ⌋

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"You're in high school. You can't have a job. You need to focus on your studies."

Apply that also to me not getting my driver's license while I was in high school.

Thanks to that "advice" and thinking, I never got a job until after I graduated college and it's a shit warehouse job because I couldn't get a retail one cause I wasn't experienced enough in the interviewing department to convince people I can do the job if given the chance.

And I got my license at 25....

So, in terms of that, yeah. Very shitty. I still have trouble talking to people over the phone for professional reasons as I never really had that opportunity before.

I don't see how you can blame not having a job in high school for having difficulties talking on the phone. Or "focusing on your studies" in high school for not getting your driver's license for seven years after you graduated.

Wow...you really can't see how that thinking can adversly affect someone?

1. "No job in high school. Focus on studies." That was so ingrained in my head that I carried it into college. A job would be a distraction. I needed to get through school and considering my major, I had long studio classes that I ended up hating by the end. I hated my major, but didn't have the funds, either from a job or from my parents, to switch without getting loans. I stuck with it because of that. But because of that thinking, I never got a job. And with only one car in my family, I had to rationalize that as well.

2. "No license until after college." It stems from the distraction thing. My parents never went to college. They wanted me to be the first. So going down to the DMV to get a permit/license was considered a distraction. I'd be missing school. My parents didn;t want that. And since my mom was happy to drive me to school when in college, well, once again, I took that thinking with me.

So, here I was, a newly graduated college student with a degree in a field I hated, with no job experience, no interview experience, and hardly any driving experience, needing to get work.

I love my parents, but they drilled that so far into my head I ended up more disadvantaged than I would have been had they let me do that back then. We'd have worked something out with the whole one car thing, but they didn't even want to try.

The phone thing is just one of the many things is affected by that. Since I never did but one phone interview, since I never got a job that required the use of a phone and the skills needed to be professional when talking on it, see all the angles when inquiring about something, I'm still rather shit at it.

Like right now? I'm struggling to look around for car insurance and making sure I ask the right questions so as to keep my quotes and possible buy low enough for me to afford.

I can see how that kind of thinking could adversely affect someone. But I also think it's taking filial piety to insane levels to follow such advice when it's not only against your inclination, but against every word of advice anyone else would be likely to give you.

The reasons you give for not getting your license, for instance, sound pretty flimsy. I mean, you couldn't go to the DMV because that meant missing school...seriously? The DMV was closed all summer? Your whole life, year-round, consisted of studying sixteen hours a day?

As for professional communication, including phone conversation--it isn't some mysterium tremendum: it's just communication. And since when are communication and practical experience not part of a design curriculum? This is what reviews or presentations--which are designed to teach you the kind of communication skills that carry over into job interviews and proposals--are for. Plus, I can't imagine an adviser who would not urge you to apply for internships.

TBQH, it's sounding like your parents' advice was more of an excuse for not doing things that you already didn't want to do.

[ SECRET POST #2532 ]

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