[ SECRET POST #2538 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2538 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 079 secrets from Secret Submission Post #363.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Mpreg always weirded me out. Like...how do the babies born the bacteria highway known as the poopshoot not die from some infection?

[(Anonymous)]

I've read quite a lot of mpreg but would hate to read a baby born that way, Ugh. I've only ever seen it be by caesarian. Which works fine. Needs a handwave as to how dangerous it's gotta be if a man can't deliver naturally but usually it works.

[(Anonymous)]

C-section?

[(Anonymous)]

But...how'd they get pregnant then? AI? Because if the man's semen being put into his anal cavity got him pregnant, wouldn't it also serve as the birthing canal? lol

[(Anonymous)]

Magic. Seriously, a lot of mpreg is "wacky magic spell/device/reasons".

Women have c-sections and do have a birthing canal so I'm not sure what you're getting at exactly?

[(Anonymous)]

Nope. Even if a penis fits through an anus, a baby's head won't. Even if it stretched, the hipbones won't let the head pass through anyway. So, guy can get impregnated but still needs a derivative for the birth.
Just like breeding cows.

Dude, I can't believe I'm defending mpreg logic here.

[(Anonymous)]

What? Cows give birth naturally almost all the time?

[(Anonymous)]

*puts on my "let's actually take this ridiculous thing seriously for a minute" hat*

There's bacteria in the vagina and apparently for a baby to pick up some of this while being born is a good thing and helps create the healthy ecosystems of beneficial bacteria that we all normally have in our bodies. In fact, I've heard that too many C-sections can, after multiple generations of this, lead to people having less diverse and robust bacterial ecosystems and therefore women should, whenever possible, opt to not have a C-section if it's not actually necessary (also, you should not take antibiotics unless it's really important so you don't kill off any of your gut bacteria).

That said, I really can't imagine passing through an adult's colon would be an equally beneficial experience given that it's not meant for babies to come out of and there has been no evolutionary pressure to make it a baby-safe environment. It is merely a poop-safe environment. I suppose that if you're writing mpreg in an AU where men giving birth is a natural thing that can and does happen, you could hand-wave it as men having colons that clean themselves well and manage the bacteria that might be harmful to a baby.

[(Anonymous)]

Omegas are all like Tigerwolf?

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, but:

If by some miracle of medicine the baby managed to implant itself in the intestine wall and not die from lack of placenta supplying blood and oxygen and whatnot (as there is basically no oxygen in the colon) there is also the itty bitty problem of the baby growing in size and blocking the colon (if not outright tearing it apart, as it was not meant to be stretched). In which case all the, uh, poop and assorted bacteria will pop out into the peritoneal cavity causing blood poisoning and a painful, unpleasant death.

Mpreg pisses me off for many reasons.

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

That's the reason why the few times I see someone go into the detail and basically magically handwave their pregnant male into a functioning hermaphrodite, I'm happy.

[(Anonymous)]

That really depends. Some bacteria in the vagina can be dangerous to a baby - I'm a carrier of Strep B in my reproductive system, which would make it very risky for me to have a baby vaginally due to the elevated risk of it becoming infected with that. It's harmless to me, but it could be fatal to a baby.

[(Anonymous)]

No it's not quite like that. Strep B is a normal and pretty common, commensal in the vagina. It only matters during delivery if the waters break and the delivery becomes prolonged. At a certain point then midwives will give Mum IV antibiotics. You don't need to have a caesarian because of Strep B, it's very common and not something that midwives or obstetricians worry about, but it's always important to tell your midwife you've had it. Often it's not even there at the time of labour, it's not there all the time.

[(Anonymous)]

If I need to do that much hand waving to get a bloke pregnant, I'm just going to give him a uterus and be done with it. For one, that's an actual thing that happens.

[(Anonymous)]

I think a lot of us just choose to forget that poop exists when reading any type of slash/mpreg.

Also, if a story involves a dude being somehow anatomically capable of pregnancy, it's not that great a leap to decide the change in biology also covers safe delivery.

(plus a lot of kink mpreg has nothing to do with the actual baby at all, and is instead all about putting the guy through something. I assume there's happy-family-consentual-mpreg out there that has to think that sort of thing through, but the majority that I've read is purely about the kink - and occasionally results in a baby that isn't even human (shut up, monster!kink is a totally wholesome acceptable thing ok), so really isn't affected by human things like that.)

... i just kinda defended mpreg didn't I, oh god imma just gonna crawl away now.

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

Oh, well of the two mpreg situations I am close, one is very unspecific, the other had magic turn a couple of guys into functional hermaphrodites, so it wasn't their asses.

[(Anonymous)]

Why does everyone always assume mpreg babies are conceived and born through the anus? I've seen this complaint about "eww he gives birth from his ass" quite a few times now, are there a lot of mpregs that explicitly say they give birth anally (like just a normal anus not an omega self-lubing one you can infer adaptation) that I haven't run into?

I always assume they're a sort of hermaphrodite and have a separate orifice for that unless otherwise stated, and in those fics they all seem to be c-sections or there's some implied/stated biological adaptation for giving birth that way.