fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2547 ]

[ SECRET POST #2547 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2547 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 043 secrets from Secret Submission Post #363.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I suspect my mom is having an affair and I don't really know what to do about it. I don't get along well with either of my parents so I don't feel obligated to tell my dad about it, but on the other hand I feel like this is just about the shittiest thing she could do short of starting up a meth lab in their garage.

Let her fuck up her own life.

Ouch. Sorry you're going through with it. If you feel it's that shitty, confront her about it? Or make a pointed comment like, "Cheating on your spouse is a shitty thing," without a direct accusation.

Not your responsibility. It'll come out one way or another, and you really don't want to be in the middle of that, trust me.

this

you will only make yourself an attractive scapegoat

the only good thing that could come out of it is if you want to catalyze things to make everything explode sooner rather than later, but, see above

I get OP is not close to her parents, and it's her decision.

But I am close to my parents and love them a lot. I don't think I could bear to just ignore it and not do anything if my family were in that situation. I don't know what I'd do - probably talk privately with the cheating party, and either give huge disapproving hints or confront them outright. I don't know if that's the right thing to do or not, but I would feel responsibility for any family member being hurt.

To each their own. My best friend was really close to her parents too and she ended up getting blamed for wrecking the family when she brought her dad's affair to light. They apologized for it, but that was years later and the damage was done.

I'm not saying that scenario is a given, but it is a possibility, and OP needs to be aware of that before moving forward with anything.

Yeah, this, seriously. If OP is still living at home and dependent on their parents, they need to keep their opinions on shit like this to themselves. No pointed comments, like someone said up thread. No secret discussions on how disappointed they are. No ultimatums like "If you don't tell the truth, I will."

Just let that shit lie and go about your business because no good will ever come of inserting your opinions or self-righteousness into your parents lives, trust me.

My dad lied to my mom for years and I ended up being the one to tell my mom the truth when I was 13. I will never forget that phone call to my mom (my dad and I had been on vacation and I called her to talk to her and just blurted it out to her).

It's been years and I will never forget that I had to be the one to tell my mom. It took me years just to forgive him in the first place and it's definitely damaged our relationship a lot.

Oh god yes x1000

source: personal experience

OP here, thanks for the support and personal anecdata, guys. I've basically already decided not to even bring it up, but I've been needing to say it outloud (in writing lol) I guess.

They were both abusive when I was a kid (hence the 'not very close') and my own sense of morals and compassion when it comes to cheating and lying and hiding things from your spouse are coming into conflict with my feelings that both of them are shitty people who deserve whatever shitty things come to them.

Best of luck to you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2547 ]

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