fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2565 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2565 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

08. [SPOILERS for Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan]

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09. [SPOILERS for The Walking Dead]
http://i.imgur.com/Rnp3pTB.png
[gore in image]

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10. [SPOILERS for American Horror Story]

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11. [SPOILERS for Doctor Who]

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12. [SPOILERS for Sherlock]
http://i.imgur.com/d4tbog4.png
(OP requested link)

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13. [SPOILERS for Sherlock]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #366.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(yes the content warning is a little silly given the secret but rl suicide might be more upsetting to some)

My father commented suicide when I was 13 (he was what we now called bipolar but then called manic-depressive). He didn't do it in front of me (thank god). But it still fucked me up like you wouldn't believe. And I love him, I love him dearly. And I understand (now) that he was sick (and I'm sick with the same thing - Bipolar and depressive disorder). That doesn't mean I wasn't angry. That doesn't mean I'm still not angry. Because even at 33 I still want my daddy and I still don't completely get why I wasn't worth living for.

So for all QC often gets wrong - and I stopped reading it years ago now - Faye and her mom's anger really rings true. Because now how much you understand, no matter how much you forgive, you can still be angry.

I think it's unfair that the characters hate him and think he's a terrible person, but I also know it's one of the many reactions real people have, and emotions are rarely fair. The way the author seems to agree, though, is what really propels this into disgust for me.

Have you considered that maybe the author has had someone in his like commit suicide?

It might be unfair, but it's realistic. If I were Faye I'd be telling people to stop talking shit about my dad, because its one thing for me and my mom to be pissed at him still and say shit about him but its another thing for 'outsiders' to. But I'm not Faye.

Like I said, I have issues with how QC started going later and stopped reading it, but I never had an issues with that part. I understand though why others would. I just thought I'd give the point of view from someone whose father had killed himself.

I didn't think of that, and you may be right. It still bothers me a lot to see such statements said with no room for argument, though. Venting is all well and good, but when you do it on a public medium created for an audience, you're bound to offend someone. I guess that someone is me.

How is it unfair? If someone did something that fucked up the lives of multiple people, intentionally or not, how is it "unfair" for those people to be angry over it?

Actions have consequences. Mental illness does not excuse you from those consequences, and I say this as someone with mental illness myself. Mental illness is not a "get out of jail free" card for doing terrible things.

I never said it was unfair for them to be angry. I said it was unfair for them to hate him, and I also said that I know emotions aren't fair. They have the right to feel however they feel. I just don't think he deserves to be designated as an awful person.

They don't exactly ignore his good qualities all the time. When Faye talked about it with Martin she spent pages talking about what a wonderful father he was. She also had the scene at the gravestone - I'm pretty sure she says that she loves him. She's just really, really mad at him.

And what, exactly, do you know about the author's life? His emotional response to this issue may have roots in a real life experience.

I didn't think of that. Like I said above, the way it's said still bothers me. But it would be more understandable if he had that kind of experience.

He also might not.

"Maybe X has happened to Y" doesn't make Y an expert, above reproach, or A Speaker For All. It certainly shouldn't be an effective tactic for shaming someone with a differing opinion than your own into apologies or silence. And regardless of whether or not a thing may have happened to the author, it doesn't put his work beyond criticism, on this or any other topic, because this comic strip is not his personal diary. It's something that he's willingly releasing into the world for public consumption (and maybe cash.)

So even though real life people left behind by suicide often feel deeply angry about it, no one should write any character being angry or upset because it might upset someone? Did you miss the person just a few comments up talking about her own anger dealing with her father's suicide?

Not to mention that real-life people left behind by a suicide are not infrequently left with PTSD and are at increased risk for suicide themselves. And often have to deal with people pointing fingers and telling them that it wouldn't have happened had they been a better parent/sibling/friend.

I would like to see professional sources for your assertions. And know what it has to do with my original comment or the above poster's response to it.

Did I say that I wanted to control how people depict characters dealing with suicide? No, I did not. I said that it's okay to not like an author's narrative choices since the critic is criticizing the author's professional work, not the author's personal therapy journal.

And, while I certainly respect the above poster's courage in discussing such a difficult and personal topic, the above poster is also not a Speaker For All when it comes to reactions to this sort of thing. That was the poster's individual reaction and certainly not a "everyone feels like me!" post. So stop acting like it was.

Considering how the OP said that they were "sickened" by the characters' reactions to Faye's father's suicide, you can understand why people want to defend this depiction of the after affects of a family member's suicide.

The OP was (intentionally or not) invalidating people's (understandable) feelings. Dealing with a family member's suicide is difficult enough without someone telling you that your feelings "sicken" them.

OP is, like everyone else, allowed to have feelings and opinions. And, if OP is sickened by the depiction of a response to grief, that's fine. Maybe OP's emotional nexus works differently. Or maybe, that same response but written by a different writer, wouldn't have the same effect.

Either way, OP wasn't calling a particular poster out and saying "YOU! YOU THERE! YOUR RESPONSE TO YOUR PERSONAL AFFAIRS SICKEN ME!" OP was commenting on a comic that apparently bothers OP.

Invalidating one person in an after-the-fact attempt to prop someone up, especially someone who was explaining their thoughts rather than asking for anon white knights, has no net gain. It does nothing for either person, especially when you're conflating two unrelated things - OP's reaction to a comic as a consumer of that comic which has nothing to do with Responder and Responder's personal opinions, other than that Responder apparently wanted to discuss it with OP.

[ SECRET POST #2565 ]

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