fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2565 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2565 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

08. [SPOILERS for Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan]

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09. [SPOILERS for The Walking Dead]
http://i.imgur.com/Rnp3pTB.png
[gore in image]

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10. [SPOILERS for American Horror Story]

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11. [SPOILERS for Doctor Who]

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12. [SPOILERS for Sherlock]
http://i.imgur.com/d4tbog4.png
(OP requested link)

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13. [SPOILERS for Sherlock]

Notes:

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Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Speaking as a practicing Catholic.

No, you have a difference of opinion with a blog. That's not being an asshole. That's having a difference of opinion.

OP apparently didn't know this woman was Christian prior to her coming back and talking about her experience in another country. That doesn't scream 'hard core evangelist' to me. At all. It tells me the OP learned someone was Christian and dumped them.

OP should feel scummy about judging people based on religious stereotypes.

But OP didn't say anything about dumping them just that they didn't further the friendship beyond chatting at the park or whatever. You should definitely feel scummy for your behavior in this thread.

Except they kinda did.

And I don't. I feel like someone was judged for their religion, which I happen to share. That's not a good feeling.

In this case, what you "feel like" doesn't have any relation to what actually happened, so that's kind of your own problem - a problem which you have chosen to take out on OP in a really jerk-like fashion.

They didn't. You need to either re-read the thread or stop projecting your own issues on to OP. Or both.

So because it's not a good feeling, you lash out at the OP, making them feel horrible, too? Did it make you feel better?

I'll fully admit, I judge people, too, based on their choice in religion. I was raised Roman Catholic, but I left the Church because I realized that my belief system and the Church's stated positions on things do not mesh at all anymore.

If I find out someone is staunchly Roman Catholic, I will be guarded. It's not that I won't like them, or be social with them, but we're not going to be besties until I know their positions on certain matters.

For example, I am not "out" to my family because my Mother and Brother are staunchly Roman Catholic. I do not find it a sin or a reason to be pitied because I don't choose romantic partners based on physical attributes.

I do not need to be potentially treated as a horrible person for being on birth control for purely medical reasons (I am not sexually active, nor have I ever been consensually).

I do not need to be potentially screamed at for believing that women should have a right to choose whether or not to have an abortion. That is between their God/Higher Power and them. Me? I, personally, am not even comfortable with the Morning After pill. But I'm not going to try and hold someone I don't even know to my beliefs.

So, I have reason to be guarded. That doesn't mean that you're a bad person. It's just that your religion has publicly stated views that can cause discomfort for others.

"We still chatted at the trails and stuff"

You missed the part where they actually TREATED the person differently and / or stopped talking to them.

OP just said they didn't feel like they would be as close to this person. It doesn't sound like they told the person this, so....basically what they "did" amounts to admitting they felt dissapointed about religious differences. I may not agree with their reasoning but I do believe that they have a right to choose not to get close with someone they disagree with on religion.

They didn't hurt that person.

Sure they have a bias...but they're not the ones chewing out someone and mocking their supposed lack of friends or belittling them. They may have made a biased decision, but they didn't purposefully try to make anyone feel like shit. That's all you.

Edited 2014-01-11 02:51 (UTC)

For the fifth time, OP didn't dump them for being a Christian. OP disengaged from the person emotionally because they learned that the person was a proselytizing, kinda-racist Christian who thinks that what less-fortunate people overseas need most is more Bibles. (Read upthread, OP talks about the racially uncomfortable comments the woman made about her trip.)

OP shouldn't feel scummy about anything. YOU should feel guilty and apologetic for getting defensive and being awful to OP.

Seriously - take a step back and reread the thread without projecting what you want to see into it. Please. You're better than this.

You know what's kind of racist? ASSUMING AFRICANS HAVE NO AGENCY! ESPECIALLY IN MOTHERFUCKING ANC-RUN SOUTH AFRICA

You don't have to assume that group A has no agency or ability to protect themselves from group B's behavior in order to find group B's behavior questionable. And given that many Mission trips go to impoverished areas, there's also the coercive pressure that poverty puts on people regardless of their race or country of origin.

So no, really not seeing how taking issue with that kind of mission trip is racist, capslock or not.

Except that South Africa is an industrial (or "new industrial," whatever that means) country where most people speak English (so they know exactly what the missionaries are saying) and there are many, many African-built and run churches that are full. These missionaries are not approaching naive people who do not know what Christianity entails.

My problem with a lot of Evangelical protestant mission work is that it seems to be poverty-tourism Eat Pray Love shit with extra Pray, not that I think it's in most cases actually harming the human adults, who happen to be black or brown, just as intelligent as you or I, who have no need for our enlightened paternalism, that are dealing with the white dorks waving bibles around.

Edited 2014-01-11 06:59 (UTC)

"I am pretty anti-organized religion in general, but I can overlook that if you're an awesome person who lives your life and doesn't proselytize or try to tell people about your God, which was apparently not the type of Christian she was."

"We still chatted at the trails and stuff, but my hope of a budding friendship was smashed."

That is what OP said. You keep insisting OP dumped them because they were Christian, OP said nothing of the sort. They said the missionary aspect of their faith made them uncomfortable, but they still chat in (what I assume is a) friendly manner.

They were hoping for a friend with similar values as their own, they found out they did not find someone with their values, so now that person is an acquaintance. Maybe OP should have given it more time to make this decision, but I hardly see it as something that makes OP a horrible person when we all put up barriers with people we aren't sure about.

[ SECRET POST #2565 ]

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