fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2598 ]

[ SECRET POST #2598 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2598 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

__________________________________________________

13.

__________________________________________________

14.

__________________________________________________

15.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #371.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So there's this pet shop I like to go to. I recently have rodents again, but I already went there before with a friend because even when I did not have pets I really liked going there and imagoine having pets (yeah I'm one of those people).

But, the last few times being in the shop make me feel really uncomfortable.

Let me elaborate: for the past few weeks they have been supporting two animal charities, one a local shelter and a sponsor-bowl-of-food for an abandoned animal sort of thing. Which in itself is great, but I feel like there's really aggressive about it?

To elaborate more: I've been unemployed since the beginning of January again, and while I made some decent money in the months before I can't afford anything excessive. My own pets are pretty low maintenance, they cost me maybe 10 euro/month.

Now, a few weeks ago, I had barely walked in and started looking at me or this woman shows up right next to me with a collection jar asking if I want to donate. I was a bit flustered, mumbled no thanks (I'm an introvert), and actually ended just leaving the store because I felt almost like they were trying to trap me for money.

But fair enough, I though, maybe I was overreacting - and it's a good pet shop, with good prices, right around the corner from where my bf lives. So two days ago I went back.

So now charity woman is there again, but she had a whole table there, with pictures and leaflets and of course the collection jar. The table is positioned between the entrance and the cash register, so you're forced to pass closely to it when you go in and out. She also has a cute dog with her (presumably for sympathy). But this time I really need stuff so I sneak in while she's talking to someone else.

When I'm exiting, I'm really forced to slide past the table. I try to ignore her as hard as I can, which she MIST have noticed, but still she's like "Do you want this calendar from out shelter"? And shoves it in my hand.

F!S, I just like it was emotional blackmail. I didn't feel comfortable. I'm glad those charities exists, but I just felt harassed for money. I actually felt bad for not giving anything, and I think that was exactly the point - especially with the cute lil dog, it('s just emotional blackmail and I don't like it.

Am I just being overly sensitive here, or are they being somewhat assholish about it?

Your guilt might be magnifying things, but she shouldn't be getting in your way. Is she an employee of the store? If not, a complaint to the staff about her behaviour might fix things. They certainly won't want customers being driven away.

I don't think she is, but obviously the store is supporting her.

Find a manager and tell them that this woman is making you uncomfortable and making you not want to shop at their store. I know that doing so will probably make you even more uncomfortable, but it's the only way something might get done.

Little bit of both.

Is there another store you can go to?

Yes. Less convenient, further away and more expensive - but I can.

Hmmmm, damn. If she's there year-round...

You could always super stock up at the closer, cheaper store and then only go in once in a blue moon.

Only seen her there the last few times. Maybe it's temporary. I hope.

That's good.

Well, the stocking up thing would still work.

If I see her there next time, I will.

Coolio then. I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you :)

Re: Pet shop woes - F!S, am I right to be annoyed or not?

forgottenjester - 2014-02-13 03:30 (UTC) - Expand

Yes, they're being obnoxious and trying to guilt you, but I think that's what charities are supposed to do when asking for money. :/

I guess, though I've known charities that don't (I was vaguely involved with one that just hosted a big party for charity, for example). I never had it happen so prominently while in a shop, though.

Nah, I'd be annoyed too. Especially if I'd already been asked once and responded in the negative. I donate my time, but I don't have money to spend on charity.

However, I'm pretty assertive irl so I'd probably have been less likely to suffer that shit without telling her to piss off in the politest way I could think of.

It's not just you, that's pretty irritating.

You have the right to be annoyed, but the store has the right to set up whatever kind of charity setup they want in their store.

nah I definitely think they are being obnoxious. Setting up the table is one thing, physically shoving things into your personal space is not ok.

When I see people on the busy corner at my school trying to hand out fliers I try to walk the other way. And I'm an extrovert! I just think it's annoying and obnoxious.

Call the shop, using a public phone or a call ID blocker code (*67 + their number if you're in the U.S. or Canada,) tell whoever answers anonymously that the aggressive charity person makes you uncomfortable when you go in, and ask how long they expect her to be there or what days, if any, she isn't around.

This! Plus, if you can, I'd talk to the manager and let them know how aggressive she's being and how uncomfortable it's making you. If it's something that's going to cost them business most stores will step in and tell the charity to knock it off.

You can certainly feel annoyed by it, but I don't think they are that out of line. I think of the Salvation Army people at every door in the holiday season. Or when I was a child, my father had a disease that had a charity raising funding for it. So he put me, his seven year old daughter in front of a door at a store asking for money from everyone that came in or left. (They'd gotten permission from the store.) It's just something charities do. They put out the cute and ask, hoping you'll be guilted into giving. You don't have to like it, but I really think it is par for the course.

No, they're definitely being pushy and guilt-trippy about it. The whole approach is calculated to make people feel bad and put them on the spot so they feel pressured to say yes. It's an effective method, but it's shitty. If you're a loyal customer to this store, I'd let management know that their methods are aggressive and off-putting.

You sound like my daughter. Whenever we go to the grocery and there's a table outside with people asking for donations for various things, she gets all anxious and walks really close to me. She says she 'hates to say no'. I tell her that i'll say no for her, as i'm *very* good at it.

It's not fun to be harassed for money, and someone shoving something at you isn't nice at all, but try to just ignore it/her, do your shopping, and move on. You're *not* obligated to give, and you're also not obligated to explain your financial situation to anyone. So i know it's hard, but just - chin up, walk on by, don't make eye contact. She won't be there forever, and it's doubtful she remembers you at all.

*hugs*

I get you anxiety, and it sucks *offers a hug *

Having working with animal organizations, though, they might be getting pretty desperate by now if they're resorting to behaving like this :( Or at least that's my experiece. Which still isn't your fault, ok? So don't let them guilt you if you can't afford a donation, and remember the lady must see a lot of people come and go everyday, it's not likely she remembers you (which is the reason she asked twice). I know it's hard, but learning to acknowledge that people are generally just as bad as us at remembering faces is a great life skill. Also learning to ignore others comes handy, even more when living on a city.

Just try your best to ignore them, or mumble a "I really can't" if you must, and they'll leave you alone. Good luck.

Charity woman is likely getting paid on a commission basis if it's a bigger charity, if it's a smaller charity she's being an asshole. They are trying to manipulate you and you're completely in your right to say no. Honestly it saves everyone time to do your best to be blunt and just say no, look away, hand things that are not free back.

But their setup is being particularly assholish. Just, do your best to keep saying no, ignore them and don't let her bully you into it.

I realize there are some very aggressive street fundraisers out there, but what this person at the pet shop is doing is not particularly aggressive or assholish. The prospect of having to engage with a stranger or say no may bother you, but it's a long reach to call it harassment. Just having a table out where you have to pass by it, or just approaching you, is not automatically harassing. Just say "No, sorry" and pass by.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only