fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2609 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2609 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Anyway, fanfic sex scenes are usually 90% preparation and at most 10% the main event, whereas I think a sex scene written by a man would have much greater emphasis on the coupling.

What's kind of hilarious is that I've read rants/essays by gay men to tell straight women "how it really is" that say the opposite of pretty much everything he's saying. Especially this part. That sex without preparation was agonizing and that far too many fanfics (as I recall the gentleman in question avoided the "all" and "99.9%" hyperbole, good on him) had no preparation whatsoever - men just jammed it in - and that this was completely unrealistic.

The head of the male penis has virtually no sensitivity whatsoever. It's the cluster of nerves below the head on the underside where most of the sensation is. Very often you'll see in fanfic someone tonguing the slit producing a strong positive reaction. No. In fact this is very unpleasant.

This is just hilariously wrong. I've had multiple male sexual partners say the exact opposite - going so far as to ask for most attention be paid to the head when sucking it, and yes, even precisely the tongue in the slit thing. I don't know if it's a cut versus uncut phenomenon, but unless he's trying so say gay dudes have different cocks than straight dudes, he's comically off base with this. ...Which is fine, I've known many women to "love" things I hate wrt my genitals, and "hate" many things I love, so I assume this just means men too aren't a monolith... I'm just curious as to why he's so insistent that every man on earth is exactly like him.

...Annnnnnd the second comment on that same page is by another gay man telling him he's wrong and it isn't the same for him. Oh irony.

It's a YMMV thing. Plenty of lube, foreplay, a gentle insertion, and a slow start to let me adjust are usually all I need for a reasonably sized prick (biological or technological). Ritualistically going through a finger count usually isn't necessary for me.

I'm either "open for business" or I'm not. If I'm not, well, I'm not in the right headspace and a finger won't get me there. I disagree with him in that I don't find it remotely painful if I'm in the right headspace and the other person isn't hitting me wrong. It's like plugging into a cosmic light socket.

But, receiving anal sex is more a learned skill than some state of dilation achieved mostly by the top's diligent efforts at keeping track of how many fingers he's using.

And his followup comment that assuming that all men need that level of preparation every time we bottom is both inaccurate and limits the kind of scenes you can write is certainly spot on.

Edited 2014-02-24 05:05 (UTC)

I'm either "open for business" or I'm not. If I'm not, well, I'm not in the right headspace and a finger won't get me there.

That actually sounds an awful lot like vaginal sex. If you're ready and you want it, you're good to go with almost no prep, if you're not all the finger banging in the world won't help.

Thank you for the insight!

According to another dude on f!s his "the head isn't sensitive" experience is almost certainly a cut versus uncut phenomenon. I've been with almost exclusively uncut men (an accident of geography, not bias on my part), whereas he suspects this guy is cut. Would you agree?

I don't have enough experience with uncut men to compare. Some guys like this, some guys like that. The weather changes minute by minute.

[ SECRET POST #2609 ]

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