fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2610 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2610 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies]

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03.

[Twin Peaks]

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04.

[DC Comics, Strix and Batgirl]

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05.

[my mad fat diary]

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06.

[Sekai Seifuku]

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07.

[Lindsey Stirling]

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08.

[Star Trek: The Next Generation]

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09.

[Attack on Titan]

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10.

[How to Train Your Dragon]

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11.

[Figure Skating]

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12.

[A Wild Endeavour]

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13.

[American Horror Story]

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14.

[The Americans]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 061 secrets from Secret Submission Post #372.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

When my parents split up, my mom became pretty depressed. She was still working and providing for us, but she never laughed or cried, she showed no emotion at all, and she was always too tired to spend any time with us, doing stuff or just talking.

My sister and I were very affected (we were 4 and 6 respectively). Her way of coping was to take out her anxiety and anger on me. I became quiet and anxious.

To this day she still treats me like a subordinate, puts me down to feel better about herself, stuff like that. We don't live near each other anymore, and that made me evolve in ways I never thought I could. I love her a lot, but I also resent her and hate her a little, and sometimes I feel like it would be better if I just cut her off entirely, but my family would never understand or allow that.

Rant off.

My situation is a lot less severe than yours and relationships between sisters are hardly identical across the board, but I too spent much of my childhood being casually berated by my sister, who was incredibly self-conscious (probably because she had a severe weight problem and I was thin).

She did it up until I was in my late teens and realized that the only way to get her to stop was to point it out every single time. Pokes at my insecurities? "Fuck off, sis." Makes front of me in front of other people? "Fuck off, sis." Do it way too many times when we're together? "Fuck off sis, I'm leaving/get out of my house". It took several years before it sank in almost completely, but it did.

Seriously, just voicing your displeasure at your treatment can get the message through pretty strongly, if you enforce it enough. Your sister has to be made aware of what she's doing, especially if she's been doing it so long she doesn't think twice about it anymore.

If you can, OP, I'd call her out on her behavior. Not in a nasty or defensive way, just sort of like: "Did you really just insult my hair/clothes/career/etc. as part of a casual conversation? Wow."

or: "I love you, but when you say [example of unpleasant thing], it makes me not want to spend time with you anymore."

If she keeps it up, belittles you for being over-sensitive or not taking a joke, leave the room. Reward her for nice behavior, and refuse to be around for nasty behavior. Hang up if it's a phone conversation. Leave the room or house if you're together physically. Decide on a cooling off period where your absence is felt and then try again with a fresh slate. Most of all, be consistent. If you let small remarks slide for shorterm peace, it'll just mean longterm putting up with your sister's sniping.

I have a shitty relationship with my brother. There's no family issues or anything. He's just always been the sort of person who likes to bully other people and make hurtful comments. I think he tries to belittle me as a sort of power thing - because I'm the eldest or something? Honestly, IDEK.

It makes it difficult watching movies & tv shows where people have good relationships with their siblings, because I don't understand that.

As soon as I move out, I'm cutting off contact with him.

I have a poor relationship with my younger brother, and at this point in time the solution WAS to cut him off. Sure, my family thinks I'm a big meanie, but at the end of the day I don't need to put up with his bullshit, and that makes my life much easier.

In the future, if he pulls his head out and starts treating me with respect? We may have a chance at a polite relationship. As it is though, I refuse to have someone in my life who triggers my anxiety so violently that I will sob for hours after dealing with him.

"But he's faaaaaaamily" is total bullshit. Family is not an excuse to treat people badly.

Oh, but it IS! Because one day your kid brother might need a butt transplant and what if you're the only donor!!!!!!!!! What if he dies and you weren't there to take care of him!!!!!!!!!!!! You're FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!

...when it's convenient for the other person.

No one can screw you like family.º

ºContrary to what I've said up there, I don't hold this belief for the majority of families, just for the ones where at least one family member is responsible for unapologetically heaping some kind of abuse on another family member, yet demands returns on the "investment" of that "relationship" the moment they're in dire need of something. But now I'm getting off topic.

[ SECRET POST #2610 ]

My sister

Re: My sister

Re: My sister

Re: My sister

Re: My sister

Re: My sister