[ SECRET POST #2620 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2620 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[My Mad Fat Diary]


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03.
[Stargate Atlantis]


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04.
[Andromeda]


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05.
[True Detective]


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06.
[Samurai Flamenco]


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07.
[Star Trek: DS9]


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08.
[Supernatural]


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09.
[Wild Adapter]


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10.
[The Bletchley Circle]


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11. [ns]


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12.
[Junior Prom - Prelinger Archives Video]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 015 secrets from Secret Submission Post #374.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Nonfandom Confessions

[(Anonymous)]

Casual/unattached sex makes me really uncomfortable. Not in a moral judgement kind of way, but in a 'the idea of having sex with a near-stranger/someone I'm not in head-over-heels in love with is really creepy and awful' kind of way. This hasn't really been an issue for me for a long time, but in school I had some friends that took it as like a personal insult that I didn't have lots of sex/talk about all the sex I was having. They teased me (mildly enough that I didn't end the friendship) for a few years about how prudish I was, until I moved away.

Now, years later, I'm realizing that part of my anxiety stems from the fact that I feel so old-fashioned and 'frigid' that no one would ever want to go through the trouble of dating me.

Re: Nonfandom Confessions

[bribedwithbacon]

Casual sex isn't for everyone, and that's okay. You shouldn't be forced into doing something you're not comfortable with. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you setting these boundaries and wanting to wait until you love someone enough to partake in intimate sexual relations. Your friends kind of reacted poorly; what they're doing is fine, but what you choose to do with your own body and sex life is also fine. It's terrible they treated your choice like a joke, anon.

Just know that there's nothing wrong with waiting in a relationship. Sex is supposed to be fun, and if you're too nervous about not knowing your partner enough, chances are you won't be aroused enough to enjoy it. So take your time. Go at your own pace. Do not listen to people who are shaming you for going at your own pace. It's your body and your choice.

As far as dating and confidence goes, try to set a goal of finding something positive you like about yourself in the mirror every day. Take some time to pick out a nice outfit you want to wear, maybe even dress up with your hair or makeup if it makes you feel good. Think about one thing you like about yourself, skills or otherwise, at least once a day. Doing this enough will help boost your confidence.

Good luck.

Re: Nonfandom Confessions

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

I'm very tired right now and I don't really know what to say other than, thank you! This is one of the nicest comments I think I've ever gotten. :)

Re: Nonfandom Confessions

[diet_poison]

Your friends were really being assholes. o.O

Re: Nonfandom Confessions

[(Anonymous)]

I'd bet your friends were kind of insecure about their own sex lives and were putting you down in an attempt to get some validation.

I didn't run into this much in college for whatever reason, but in grad school I kept meeting undergrads who seemed really sensitive about the casual sex they were having and would get preemptively defensive about it. It's like they were either enjoying the casual sex but felt like maybe they weren't supposed to enjoy it, or they didn't enjoy it but thought they were supposed to be having it anyway because that's just what you do in college. Either way, they'd be unnecessarily desperate to normalize their behavior by lashing out at people who didn't behave the same. (Fortunately, I wasn't a target since I was older and possibly their TA.)