[ SECRET POST #2632 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2632 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.
[Game of Thrones]


__________________________________________________



03.
[Patrick Stump / Fall Out Boy]


__________________________________________________



04.
[Men in Black, Agent Coulson]


__________________________________________________



05.
[Twin Peaks]


__________________________________________________



06.
[Defenders of Berk/How To Train Your Dragon 2]


__________________________________________________



07.
[Lily Allen]


__________________________________________________



08.
[Attack on Titan]


__________________________________________________



09.
[The Brittas Empire]


__________________________________________________



10.
[Panic! at the Disco]


__________________________________________________



11.
[Frozen]













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 037 secrets from Secret Submission Post #376.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[mekkio]

RANT/ Yeah, I kind of side eyed any woman who goes, "All my friends are boys. I don't get along with women at all." Because that's half the population of the planet. If you don't get along with any of the three plus billion people, I don't think the problem is with them. It's you.

I also side eye women who add the excuse, "Well, I just relate better with boy stuff and interest."

One that is sexist. You are making tiny boxes assigned "boy only interests" and "girl only interests" which is not how the world works. Because you could show me the "girliest" of girls and I will guarantee you that she likes something that would be categorized as being "masculine." And the reverse is true. Find me the "manliest" of men and I will also guarantee you that he likes something that would be categorized as being "feminine." Because people don't live in rigid boxes. And two, you think you are special in that regard, that you like "boy things" that makes you different from every other women? HAH! Because, I hate to break to you, women liking masculine things and doing masculine things is nothing new and has never been new. /END RANT

[sarillia]

I always find it hard to believe that all these women who are "not like the other girls" can never find each other and be friends. Like you said, there's a lot of different women out there, and there are so many of this type that you would think they would be bound to meet eventually. Are they just looking at each other and assuming that the other is like the other girls that they claim to be so fundamentally different from?

[mekkio]

Personally, I think they use the "not like the other girls" as an excuse just not to socialize with other women for what ever reason. It's easier to say that than to say, "Nope. Just don't want hang out with people of my sex, thanks."

[truxillogical]

I think (and this is coming from hindsight+personal experience) that at some point in childhood/teenage years, it becomes a significant part of how they self-identify.

Not helped, of course, by the fact that everything "boy" is always better. That you can get better treatment by being cool with the guys.

And definitely side-eying young me before a lot of my lady friends got into pink and dresses and belly-dancing, but it's easy (especially if, say, your mother tried to force you into this box) to just decide to mentally code all that "girly" stuff as "shallow enemy things" and dismiss people who are into it.

[diet_poison]

You'd think, but it reads more to me like each one wants to be that special girl who is One Of The Boys and that involves not being friends with each other. =|

[weaselbee]

I can believe that you could only have friends of one gender by coincidence, but I agree with everything you say here.

Well, I don't know about that.

[elephantinegrace]

I mean, for a large part of my childhood, I played soccer, and the team was almost entirely boys (there was the odd girl or two), and we became pretty close since we spent a lot of time together. So my long-time friends are almost entirely male. I do have female friends, since I became a band geek and our orchestra was more even in terms of sex, but most of my friends are still male.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes. Thank you for saying this. I said earlier in the thread that having all guy friends by accident is statistically unlikely. It's not by chance that women end up with no women friends, and saying that well, all the women I meet don't share my interests and men do... yeeeeah. That doesn't calculate, either. Even if a woman liked stereotypically "manly" stuff like sports and beer and rock climbing, well, guess what? Women like those things, too.

[(Anonymous)]

I disagree. Because sure half the population is female. But I have only met the ones I grew up with, met in college, and the ones I work with. Maybeeeeeee 100 of those I actually meet well enough to know anything about. So that does not mean I don't get along with women. It means I don't share interests with the women I have met. Because guess what. The women I have met all live and were raised in the same area. Thus, they generally have the same interests and beliefs.

And I know everyone on the internet hates to admit this but MOST people do fall into traditional female/male interests based on their assigned gender. Whether this is because of society being sexist or not, does not matter.

So, out of those 100 women I know, only 7-8 share the "typically male interests" that I enjoy (video games, action movies, crude humor, etc).

I am friends on facebook with a lot of people I went to high school with. Of the females, I can think of two that enjoy video games. I work with 4 women. None of them play video games and don't have any interest in them.

[(Anonymous)]

1. If you haven't ever bothered to look for people who share your interests that aren't in your immediate vicinity, that's your own fault.

2. Most people may fall in line with SOME traditionally gender-based interests, but almost certainly not all. "They don't share MY interests" is not the same as "They have ONLY girl/boy interests".

3. If you only have a single interest that you use to gauge your friendship compatibility with someone, again, that's your fault. Also, I don't know where you live, but no matter how few people live near you, you obviously have access to the internet. Lots of women on the internet play video games. It's not hard to find some.

There's a point where you actually have to do SOME work to make friends. If you're only interacting with the people life has situated around you, then sure, you may have problems. But that's stupid in the internet age, and it's also can't be applied to Lily Allen, because she's a celebrity and she meets tons of people all the time. You guys don't live in bubbles.

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed. I went to a snobby upper-class all-girls' private school in high school and I didn't really have many friends at all there because the school was populated mainly by spoiled rich kids and I was a kid from a middle-class family whose parents had scrimped and saved to be able to send me there. Add in the fact that I had "typical male interests" as opposed to more "feminine" ones and the end result was that I just didn't have any interests in common with 99% of my classmates.

When I went to college and was exposed to people outside that particular social and economic bracket and geographic area, I had no trouble making female friends because there were plenty of women there who shared the same interests that I did.

[(Anonymous)]

Even if you don't count people on the internet as friends (and ftr, I disagree with that, as I have some really good friends I met through the internet, and yes, I've met some of them in person), that still doesn't mean you are limited to the people who live next to you or work with you. Are there no locations that you can meet someone around you? Museums? Groups? Anything? If you are into games, are there no groups of gamers in your area? I really find this difficult to believe.

Because I'm a girl with mostly stereotypical interests (games, sci-fi, comic books, etc). When I was in high school, my options were limited (partially because there was no internet), but when I was in college (granted, it was a university where like half of us were studying science of one branch or another, so interests might have been skewed a bit?), I ended up with about 2/3 guy friends 1/3 girl friends. And even now, I have found girls who have shared my interests. I find it really difficult to believe you cannot find a single girl that you have things in common with.

[(Anonymous)]

You sound annoying as shit, no wonder no one wants to be friends with you.

[(Anonymous)]

I lived in a town that had 552 people in the 2000 census. I still managed to make friends of both genders. And I was fairly shy.

So nope.

[(Anonymous)]

I think your problem is that you're relying on a single interest (video games) to create and probably maintain friendships.

[elaminator]

You are making tiny boxes assigned "boy only interests" and "girl only interests" which is not how the world works. Because you could show me the "girliest" of girls and I will guarantee you that she likes something that would be categorized as being "masculine." And the reverse is true. Find me the "manliest" of men and I will also guarantee you that he likes something that would be categorized as being "feminine." Because people don't live in rigid boxes.

That is very true, and I agree. People are complex and can have a ton of varied interests.

[feotakahari]

Allow me to look at this from the reverse side.

I'm biologically male, and I've been a member of a writing club for the past couple years. There have generally been significantly more female members than male members. Counting the transwoman as female, only one of the male members since I joined writes in a genre I'm interested in. (He does this weird alternate history stuff with masked priests and zeppelins, if anyone's curious.)

To be certain, a lot of my favorite authors are male, and some of the folks I get along with well on writing forums say they're male. But speaking generally, it seems like my interests tend to overlap more with what girls like than with what boys like.

[elephantinegrace]

I know what you mean. I was pretty into sports in elementary school, and I worked in a morgue for a while so a sadly large number of my female friends decided I was weird and stopped speaking to me. So while my two closest friends are female, most of my friends in general are male.

[(Anonymous)]

Counting the transwoman as female

Why did you need to specify this? Of course she's female.

[(Anonymous)]

This is going to sound really stupid, but. Are you coming at this from the perspective of a dude (a true reverse of the situation)? You said you're "biologically" male which implies that you may or may not ID as such. Sorry for the really dumb question

[(Anonymous)]

My mom had a female friend from work who said that my mom was basically her only female friend. She also said she really wished she had more female friends, but for some reason women didn't seem to like her. My mom pointed out to me, later, that this made sense to her because on a conventional attractiveness scale, this woman could easily have been a model. So men probably gravitated toward her while other women were tended to be jealous of her, or intimidated by her. And surprise, all this is also because of misogyny, but not from her.

SA

[(Anonymous)]

Also, this woman was very sweet to my mom, me, and everyone as far as I knew, so I wouldn't believe women just didn't like her because of her personality or that she was only nice to guys.

[ariakas]

Yeah I knew a guy who was basically the male version of this woman. He was drop-dead gorgeous, and sensitive, and sweet, and... had absolutely no male friends whatsoever. Still doesn't as far as I know. I think guys assume that if he's their friend, any woman they bring around will want to be with him and not with them. Which is a shitty attitude, but it's probably what a lot of the women who met this women were thinking, too.

[tamabonotchi]

THIS, THANK YOU.

The comment is not about the women that didn't make a lot of other female friends because of interests, the comment is about women that say "women are such bitches" and trash their own gender before adding, "but I'm not like them!!" possibly citing how they are no longer friends with a lot of other women, which really implies the problem is them, not others.

That's why I also side eye anyone who says that.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a guy, and my friends skew overwhelmingly female. Do I get the side-eye too? If not, why not? (Seriously asking, here. I'm trying to figure out how the dynamics and assumptions involved work, because I don't totally understand and I'm curious.)