fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2637 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2637 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 070 secrets from Secret Submission Post #377.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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02. http://i.imgur.com/WR0xunj.jpg

While I don't know about these characters specifically, I can relate. There's some fictional friendships where the characters are SO comfortable and close to each other that watching them makes me go "But-but...how? Why? What do I have to do to get this for myself?" because it seems so absolutely amazing to me.

That seems kind of resentful and grinchy, tbh.

I think that's kind of pathetic, OP. Why take it as a rubbing in your face that you'll never have this, rather than as an inspiration to develop a great friendship of your own?

you can perfectly likable and nice and still never develop such a great friendship? say it aint so!

Yeah, but I'd bet anything the OP is not a 90 year old who's going to die in a month. You can develop a great friendship at any point in your life, there's no deadline, and it's not something you're entitled to nor is it something you automatically get if you do things right, so the resentment in the secret just rubs me the wrong way. How does the OP know they'll "never" be that important to anyone?

nayrt, obviously

I also think it's kind of horrifying to take someone else's good fortune (even the good fortune of fictional characters) as a slap in the face to you personally. I have to wonder if OP of this secret goes around furious at everyone who seems to be happy, because to her, just having whatever they have is "rubbing her face" in her lack of it.

There's that fiction writer who idealizes friendships. He wrote about boys being friends, playing together, fighting against enemies. All his books spoiled me and gave me raised expectations. I also loved Lindgren's Ronia, wherAnd something's wrong with me. e she was best friends with that guy. And I thought that friendships work like that. Well, they don't. Friends are people who enjoy spending time with and/or want something from you.

Also life risking drowes people closer.

btw, you would love tv series Professionals, it has a similar vibe.

sorry, typo, a sentence misplaced. ^_^

What is up with this comment. Also, you sound like a prick who thinks your experience = everyone's experience.

(reply from suspended user)

"friends only like to spend time with you, or want something from you."

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-03-25 23:21 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-03-26 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-03-26 02:53 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-03-26 19:07 (UTC) - Expand

I do? Sorry, it wasn't my intention.

I don't feel envious of fictional friendships, but I sure as hell have been spoiled by them by watching too many TV shows like this one about bffs who would go to the ends of the earth for one another, and reading too much Harry Potter. I feel like all the friendships I have IRL are pale and feeble in comparison.

It's probably partly due to the fact that my life is super sheltered and pretty much the biggest problem I've ever had to help a friend with is support them through a college-age breakup or a fight with their parents, so the strength of my friendships have never been tested and proven the way fictional friendships always are.

DA

I don't think any RL friendships have been "tested the way fictional friendships have" (or at least, they don't have the same happy results as in RL) precisely because they are fictional. Fiction =/= Real Life.

ayrt

Yeah, intellectually I know this, but it's hard for me to be sure of it IRL. Maybe I'm just a distrustful person.

I think it's a good thing that it haven't been tasted. Though you could always go on a mountain trip or somewhere else with extrme conditions.

I don't have any friendships that are exactly comparable either but I don't feel like I need to. (Would it be nice though? Sure! But this isn't fiction and the stakes are rarely so high for people IRL.)

S&H's friendship is particularly epic, but my own friends are great people and I wouldn't trade them. Plus, S&H have a very idealistic relationship; not saying there aren't friendships out there like theirs, but I doubt they are common. IMO any friendship is important.

That's so sad, OP :( <3

How is anyone 'spoiled' by fictional friendships? Unless you grew up in a cave, you saw real life friendships around you *all the time*. Sure, maybe some of you grew up around mostly shitty people in shitty situations, but *everyone* around you was so horrifying that only tv or books gave you any thoughts on how 'friendship' works?

I just find that...really odd.

Before i could read or care about tv, i saw my brother and sister and parents interact with friends and that's the only thing i based relationships off of until i made my own.

I assume you mean me, not the OP of the secret, but I don't really know how it happened. I guess I had no role models I strongly identified with?

My best guess is that because my family moved a lot when I was a kid, the only "friendships" between "people" familiar to me that I could observe over the course of more than a couple years were the ones between characters in the books I could take with me from state to state.

I think i was just tossing that out there in general, but sure....

But...isn't a couple of years long enough to 'get' what friendships are about?

Oh sure, I "got" what friendships are about, it's not like I didn't understand or couldn't sympathize with other people who did have them. But "getting" them and having deep personal feelings about your own friendships are rather different things.

Ditto. We can be friends if you want.

Growing up I always wanted two best friends to be a trio with, because of all the fictional trios of BFFs out there. It just looked like the most wonderful way to have friendships.

Then I was part of a couple trios, and it was nice, but not all it was cracked up to be (and rather drama-laden.)

The trio-of-friends thing is still one of my favorite dynamics in fiction, but I've cooled off on the idea in real life. Not that it wouldn't be great to have, but I'm fine with the way my relationships are without forcing them into that dynamic.