case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2014-04-05 03:24 pm

[ SECRET POST #2650 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2650 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #379.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Weird romantic question

(Anonymous) 2014-04-05 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)
So I've kind of been crushing pretty hard on a friend of mine and for some reason it's really bothering me. We both like (and are) women, so it's not like that's an issue. We're the same age, get along really well, she's really cute, and she's even said/done a couple things to make me think she might be interested too, and yet... I don't actually want to pursue it. I keep having this feeling that it would somehow be, I don't know, arbitrary, I guess? But it's not like the attraction and desire is going away, either -- it's getting stronger, if anything. I can't explain why I feel like this and I don't know what to do because, really, it's kind of dumb.

Re: Weird romantic question

[personal profile] herpymcderp 2014-04-05 10:37 pm (UTC)(link)
It's not that weird to not want to just leap into something because it seems like you should.

If I had to take a guess, the reason you're not as interested as you think you might otherwise be is because there's probably something you're detecting about her mannerisms or personality that doesn't really turn you on. If you have recently met her you just might be intuiting something about her that you would find incompatible despite all the physical attraction points lining up.

Having the hots for someone you wouldn't really get along with in a relationship isn't an uncommon thing by any means. If you're both the kind of people to be okay with it, maybe just have casual sex?

Re: Weird romantic question

(Anonymous) 2014-04-06 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
It's more the opposite issue, really. I feel like I'm MORE interested than I otherwise might be. Like, I'm convinced that there's something forced about my attraction to her, maybe it's just because she's queer and I haven't been with anyone in a while, and that's why I don't want to do this? It doesn't really make any sense but I can't shake that feeling. That's why I feel weird about it, I guess. I haven't felt like I think there would be something that wouldn't work between us because of her... like I said, the attraction is only getting stronger.

Unfortunately, casual sex isn't really something I'm into at this point in my life. :\

Re: Weird romantic question

(Anonymous) 2014-04-06 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not sure what you mean by arbitrary. To me, an arbitrary choice would be pursuing a relationship with a random person for no reason at all. You have reason: you're attracted to your friend, and you think she might be attracted to you. That sounds like a perfectly logical reason to pursue a relationship.

But it's up to you, OP. Do you think that if things change unexpectedly, you'd regret not giving it a chance? What are the best case and worst case scenarios if it worked out or didn't work out? Could you guys still be friends if it didn't?

Re: Weird romantic question

(Anonymous) 2014-04-06 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
None of my past relationships have been able to translate back into friendships. We always said we'd stay friends, but... it never actually happens, it's always too awkward. So I guess I'm worried about that, yeah. My past relationships were started by the other person, too, so this would be new territory for me, I guess.

I said it upthread, but I'm starting to think maybe part of the feeling comes from the fact that I've been single for a while now and she's one of the only single queer women I know, so part of me keeps worrying that's fueling the attraction instead of something real. So, arbitrary, I guess. You're right though, it isn't like it makes no sense to see where it goes. I just don't feel like I should.