fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2686 ]

[ SECRET POST #2686 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2686 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 059 secrets from Secret Submission Post #384.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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But he isn't. This is someone who was good to me not finding me sexy anymore. So the vast majority of people, who are worse, aren't going to want me even a little.

So I'm stuck in a shitty situation for dating anyone anyway, compounded with the fact that I can't really trust anyone who claims I'm attractive (because they want to get laid and any port in a storm, right?)

I know he can't do as well as me personality-wise. We were a good match. But he'll find someone sexier and simpler and be happy with that. Nobody cares about your personality when someone hot comes along. Nobody. Even the good ones. If they keep you it's because they think they can't do better. Once they can do better, you're tossed out.

DA

An important word of advice, Anon: not all guys are sexually attracted to the same body type. Conventionally-attractive may mean skinny, but there are guys out there who will find you sexy the way you are right now. I know this from personal experience. It's just a matter of finding a good one - and they're out there.

NAYRT

Sorry anon, I simply don't believe you. My other half's one of the good ones. I believe he loves me and doesn't ever intend to cheat on me - but if a hot, blonde 18 year old was offering it up? I don't think he'd give me a second thought.

And I believe most, if not all, straight and bi men in the world would do the same.

AYRT

So you think all men who are attracted to women have the same "type"? That they all find the same things "hot" in a woman? Weird. Not my experience at all.

No, I don't think that. I do think that there is a difference between the 'type' people pick for a long term partner and the type people will just fuck. And yes, I believe that men are not as individual as they like to believe when it comes to the latter.

Having said that, my opinion has been heavily influenced by some messed up family history.

Why in holy hell are you in a relationship with someone you don't think would be faithful? And if you don't think any man would be faithful, why the hell are you in a relationship at all?

(I miss when I didn't realize I was asexual. Then I could call bullshit on people who thought all men were cheaters because I'd never cheat on someone. Now that I know I wouldn't want to have sex with someone in the first place, I can't make the same argument.)

Edit: BTW, did you know the assumption used to be that women were incapable of monogomy and men should stop expecting them not to cheat? Look up "Cosi Fan Tutte" sometime.

Edited 2014-05-11 23:19 (UTC)

Because I love him regardless, and the alternative is going through life alone. I am not by any means conventionally beautiful, and I am socially awkward. I came to accept a long time ago that I would always be someone's last resort.

I've seen a grotesquely fat bald man in a wheelchair married to a woman who seemed to genuinely love him. I don't think he was her last resort, and if women are almost the same proportion of the population as men, it seems unlikely that women have more need of being last resorts than men do.

Re: NSFW rant thread

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-11 23:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: NSFW rant thread

feotakahari - 2014-05-11 23:49 (UTC) - Expand

Re: NSFW rant thread

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-11 23:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: NSFW rant thread

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-12 00:11 (UTC) - Expand

Re: NSFW rant thread

diet_poison - 2014-05-12 03:56 (UTC) - Expand

I know it's probably really hard to believe, but you are not someone's last resort. You are worthy of love. You have someone who loves you, and he loves you because you're you, not because he couldn't find anyone better.

I sincerely hope that one day you will come to a place where you can believe that. I'm so sorry for the things that you've gone through.

Wait you're a guy?

Time was, I hated this reaction, but as I recognized that I didn't consider myself male, I got to the point where I love it. On the Internet, I'm consistently assumed to be female unless I say otherwise. Same goes for the phone, thanks to my feminine voice. In person . . . well, I have an Abe Lincoln beard and a Hulk Hogan mustache. I enjoy being able to switch between the two perceptions without having to change anything about how I talk and act.

I don't identify as either gender, but I consider myself to be in the "male box," at least in person. It's like my being in the "Asperger's box"--I do not have Asperger's and have never claimed to, but people who meet me often think I have it, so their reactions to me are influenced by the stereotypes they have of people with Asperger's. That's why I get so worked up when folks stereotype men--I don't feel like I can easily escape from such stereotypes in my day-to-day life.

Edited 2014-05-12 00:05 (UTC)

I hope this doesn't come out strange, but it's interesting to me that you're asexual, because you have some of the most amazing smut recs.

Re: NSFW rant thread

feotakahari - 2014-05-12 01:50 (UTC) - Expand

DA

That person you're describing who "loves" you but who'd ditch you for a hottie? Yeah, that's not "one of the good ones". Your definition of good is a little... no, a LOT messed up.

100%.

Re: NSFW rant thread

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-12 00:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: NSFW rant thread

dethtoll - 2014-05-12 00:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: NSFW rant thread

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-12 00:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: NSFW rant thread

dethtoll - 2014-05-12 00:32 (UTC) - Expand

What a boring and untrue stereotype. I hope you're proud of yourself.

What?

No. Dude, no. Not all people cheat. If you honestly believe that your SO would cheat on you the second the opportunity presented itself, then either he's not actually one of the good ones or you've got some issues to work through.

No. I really, really, REALLY do not agree with this. And I've been flaked out on by some pretty flaky guys.

Also, attraction IS subjective. I tend to be attracted to guys outside the norm of conventional attractiveness. I know I'm not the only woman like that. Why should I believe there aren't some straight men who are also like that?

Sorry, anon, but if that's the case, then he isn't "one of the good ones". I know guys who simply wouldn't do that. They'd probably be flattered (or amused) by the attention, but they simply wouldn't do it. Not even if they thought they could get away with it.

Yeah, I really don't want to end up with a chubby chaser. Those people tend to be creepy as fuck. I wish they weren't but there you go.

That's going to be the case with any guys who see women primarily as sex objects, which is most of what you see on the internet. There are guys out there who find fat girls attractive but also see them as people who they respect and can relate to on an emotional level. (At least, I assume I didn't find the only one out there.)

I'm a fat woman myself, and my boyfriend cheated on me with another fat woman lol Trust me, it's not about looks. Your boyfriend is an asshole.

I think this is your anger and depression talking shit again, anon. Not everyone is shallow and superficial. Not everyone prioritizes looks over personality, otherwise only hot people would date/marry, and you know that is not the case. I'm trying to cut you some slack here because you've been dumped and you're understandably down, but... this attitude will put more people off than your looks and weight. You will not find an emotionally healthy person someone to love you and appreciate you unless you can love and appreciate yourself.

So lose that weight if you want to, but try even harder to shed the attitude and bitterness, too.

You said it better than I could have, but this.

Edited 2014-05-12 00:36 (UTC)

I can understand the bitter ranting right now. I'd be more concerned if it doesn't die down in a reasonable amount of time.

Are you still doing this to yourself? For the love of fuck, stop!

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