[ SECRET POST #2715 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2715 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Tales of Innocence]


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03.
[Transamerica]


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04.
[Final Fantasy VIII]


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05.
[Interview with the Vampire]


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06.
[Andrew Lloyd Webber]


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07.
[Critical Miss]


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08.
[Great British Menu/Emily Watkins]


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09.
[Mike Malinin, Goo Goo Dolls]


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10.
[Pacific Rim]


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11.
[Star Trek TNG]


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12.
[Homestuck]


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13.
[The Man From Nowhere]













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 058 secrets from Secret Submission Post #388.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

From the same group of people that brought you pokemon pronouns, for when your gender is Squirtle^[1] comes the new and improved ~asexuality/aromantic spectrum^[2]~

(Please no demisexual wank- there are enough other things in this list that are absolutely shit.)

Do you ever feel sexual attraction for someone, only to stop when the person reciprocates? Does the idea of someone actually returning your feelings make your feelings vanish into the summer breeze? Then you might be Akiosexual/Akioromantic!

Do you ever want a sexual or romantic relationship, but just can't find the right person? Then you might be Kalossexual/Kaloromantic!

Can't tell if you're friends or friends? Obviously you're not Quoiromantic! Don't care? Not you're platoniromantic!

Ever get tired of your sex/romantic life, and need a break to deal with your emotional exhaustion? Congratulations, now you're Requiesromantic/Requiesexual.

Truly, now everyone can join in the LGTBQA spectrum, and get all those fun benefits. :D

[1] http://relenawarcraft.tumblr.com/post/75776683870/i-made-some-pokemon-pronouns

[2] http://quasiboi.co.vu/post/88222354763/okay-so-the-aro-ace-spectrum-really-is-a-goddamned

Re: Fuck everything

[vethica]

Kalos like the Pokémon region? Where the heck are they coming up with these words???

Re: Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

I /think/ it's because in the Kalos region, there's that girl who Ash ~knew when he was a kid in Palet town because aliens~ who has a one sided crush on him.

Re: Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

Akiosexual
Is it bad my first thought and definition for this was someone only attracted to Akio Ohtori from Utena? To be fair though, everyone wants Akio. No exceptions.

Re: Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

My thoughts exactly. I don't actually get what it could be referring to otherwise.

Re: Fuck everything

[insanenoodlyguy]

That would be an appropriate usage and is fine.

Re: Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

I love your academic style footnote citations, anon. They just give your tone such panache :D

Also, +10000000000000000000000

Re: Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

Ugggggh, fuck the asexual community. I'm so tired of the bullshit coming from it.

Re: Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

How is this Asexual related? Sounds like more Demisexual labels. Labeling terms for normal sexual experiences as their own sexuality. Asexual is just the lack of all sexual attraction. It's a hard zero on the sexuality scale. Not "well, I can't have sex with someone unless they wear hats, I'm hatsexual!"

Re: Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

Dude, it's mostly the tumblr group [and possibly not even the ace community there so much as the sjws].

Not all of us who are asexual are crazy, promise.

Re: Fuck everything

[kaijinscendre]

Excuse you, you scum. I DON'T SEE MY SEXUALITY ON THERE! You all got something against Marvelsexuals? Huh? HUH?

Re: Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

The only weirdo special overly specific sexuality I will bother to pay attention to is Burnsexual. I.e., the orientation that involves being attracted only to C. Montgomery Burns of Springfield; which Waylon Smithers was back when the show was actually good.

Re: Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

"Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?" "If you did it, sir?"

Re: Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

Truly, now I can finally express myself now that I know that I am now considered a Kalossexual/Kalormantic AND Platoniromantic

/sarcasm, but I do fit the two listed.

Re: Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

This. Kalossexual/Kaloromantic. This is my favorite. DO YOU HAVE TO DATE MORE THAN ONE PERSON? IS YOUR LIFE NOT LIKE A SOULMATE AU FANFIC? YOU MAY BE A NEW SEXUALITY!

And Akiosexual/Akioromantic. Do you have a fear of commitment? Welllll do I have the sexuality for you!

Quoiromantic. Are you an idiot? ;)

Re: Fuck everything

[a_potato]

DO YOU HAVE TO DATE MORE THAN ONE PERSON? IS YOUR LIFE NOT LIKE A SOULMATE AU FANFIC? YOU MAY BE A NEW SEXUALITY!

It reads even worse than that to me: are you looking for a partner but haven't yet found one? Well, despite the fact that one's sexuality isn't actually determined by one's current relationship status, yours totally is, you lucky devil.

It reminds me of the True Forced Loneliness...thing.

Re: Fuck everything

[kallanda_lee]

I'm going to sound like an old lady, but...

I honestly think the problem is that these days kids who are too damn young are putting damn labels on everything.

Frankly, if I'd have had tumblr when younger, I'd have gone from aromatic and agender to questioning to possibly some gradient of bi to finally just settling on bland old hetero somewhere in my early twenties.

Now, I'm not saying some people are not sure about their sexuality much younger. I'm also not saying a label can't be useful sometimes.

But sometimes I just feel like: ffs, you're 13, just enjoy your youth. Enjoy experimenting if that's your thing. Or enjoy doing stuff that is not romantic at all. But don't micro-manage everything into hyper-specialized boxes.

Re: Fuck everything

[vethica]

How old would you consider old enough to start using labels?

Re: Fuck everything

[a_potato]

Eh.

A lot of people joke about special snowflakes, but...I do think that's where the impulse to over-label comes from. There's a real drive in adolescence to be unique and special, and every generation develops their own way of expressing that. Doesn't mean it isn't obnoxious as hell; it is. But it's normal.

Give them 5-10 years and they'll be looking back and cringing.

Re: Fuck everything

[cbrachyrhynchos]

That, and reinventing the wheel in gross and essentialist ways while strawmanning the sexual identities of everyone over the age of, oh, 24.

Re: Fuck everything

[silvereriena]

How is taking a break from sex/dating now a new sexuality??? I don't... WHAT.

Re: Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

The akio stuff is basically just a label for "I have huge commitment issues and instead of working through them to become a healthier individual emotionally and mentally, I'm going to make them part of my identity and you'll all have to accept me."

Re: Fuck everything

[diet_poison]

/jawdrop

Re: Fuck everything

[(Anonymous)]

Ah yes, reminds me of Dorothy Parker's famous "Ballade on Akiosexuality":

This, no song of an ingénue,
This, no ballad of innocence;
This, the rhyme of a lady who
Followed ever her natural bents.
This, a solo of sapience,
This, a chantey of sophistry,
This, the sum of experiments, --
I loved them until they loved me.

Decked in garments of sable hue,
Daubed with ashes of myriad Lents,
Wearing shower bouquets of rue,
Walk I ever in penitence.
Oft I roam, as my heart repents,
Through God's acre of memory,
Marking stones, in my reverence,
"I loved them until they loved me."

Pictures pass me in long review,--
Marching columns of dead events.
I was tender, and, often, true;
Ever a prey to coincidence.
Always knew I the consequence;
Always saw what the end would be.
We're as Nature has made us -- hence
I loved them until they loved me.