fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2737 ]

[ SECRET POST #2737 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2737 ⌋

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People who can't be reasonably friendly to friends or strangers (particularly in customer service) during mandatory interactions. If someone says, "hi, how are you?", please don't grump an angry "fine" and leave it at that - return the greeting, or at least smile or add a thank you. I get people have bad days, or don't want to deal with people, but it just makes you look like such an asshole. You don't have to push a conversation, but just a little decency? Don't shove your bad energy at people who have nothing to do with your problems. Even worse when you don't particularly have any problems to speak of, you're just rude. How much energy does it actually take to return a greeting, or not act like a jerk?

A lot of energy, sometimes. I personally think being courteous to those who are courteous to you is always worth that energy, but it bugs me when people underestimate the cost when you are having the most fucked up day and somebody asks a question they don't actually want to hear an honest response to, like "Just lost a major source of income I couldn't spare and I'm pretty sure I have an ulcer, and how are you?" It's not fair to dump that on strangers just trying to be polite, so you smile and fake pleasantries, but yeah, it's hard.

it bugs me when people underestimate the cost when you are having the most fucked up day and somebody asks a question they don't actually want to hear an honest response to, like "Just lost a major source of income I couldn't spare and I'm pretty sure I have an ulcer, and how are you?"

My mom did that once to a telemarketer. (She'd had some major surgery days before a hurricane did significant damage to her house)

It was wrong but oddly hilarious.

Haha, my mom does it to everyone, not to put them off, but because she's a talker who considers it an opening for discussion. People who know her learn not to ask if they really don't want a conversation.

Sure, I get that some people have shit going on, and I know it's unfair of me to make assumptions, but you're still being shitty to someone no matter what the reason. The scenario I was imagining was someone being kind and courteous to someone, and that person not have the decency to return courtesy or even being actively rude. I get that sometimes people have rough days, and it can be harder. But I don't have a lot of sympathy for pushing your bad energy on people who don't deserve it, and darkening someone else's day, even if just for a few seconds. And I don't honestly think most people who are rude to, say, customer service workers, have just lost their jobs, their cat died, they are deathly ill, etc. Some people just don't feel the need to be polite and kind to others, not even for thirty seconds out of their day, and that's my pet peeve.

I totally agree, your bad luck is not someone else's problem, be nice to those who are nice to you, even if it costs you - I was just protesting the idea that is doesn't have a cost. But I don't condone people who think so much of themselves that they don't feel it's ever worth the energy to treat strangers decently. They take kindness for granted, and then get pissed off when they run into someone just as nasty as they are.

I get that sometimes people have rough days, and it can be harder.

lmao no, you don't "get" it.

Yes, bad energy sucks. But no one is "pushing" it on anyone else. You are choosing to take offense to it and let it darken your day. You cannot control people's behavior anymore than they can control you being annoyed by a rude verbal exchange.

And you know, it could be a lot worse. They could tell you to fuck off. They could give you way too much information of the non-positive kind. They could choose to not respond at all. When they gruff "fine" at you, it's probably best to cut your losses and hope the next customer isn't such a grump.

By the way, there is a difference between being polite and being kind.

The thing you are seeking is politeness.

The thing you are lacking is kindness.

Lol so, I shouldn't get annoyed by jerks because "it could be worse"? Especially considering you don't know my personal experiences, that's kind of funny. Heaven forbid I have a pet peeve, but it's good you're fighting the good fight for people who are assholes everywhere. Because apparently me being frustrated with the concept of people a) taking their anger and frustrations out on other people or b) just not treating others as human beings and returning courtesy that is offered to them is just too offensive to you.

And look at you, so deep. lol Love those last two lines.

How much energy does it actually take to return a greeting, or not act like a jerk?

Believe it or not, a lot when you're in a shit mood. Sometimes it takes all the energy in the world to not slap the shit out of the butthurt idiot who takes offense at the fact I didn't give him the greeting he wanted. :D

But seriously, if somebody not SMILING AT YOU is enough to ruin your day, you may need a thicker skin.

I should also add that it took me nearly twenty-five years before I figured out the "proper" greeting exchange between friends and strangers. I was a very slow child and it didn't help that I was raised by someone who never taught me how to function in a typical social setting, let alone encourage me. I suggest you have a little compassion for dumb people and people with problems, after all, you're only spending a couple of minutes at the most with them and then you don't have to think about them after that.

Well, unless they come by again. Then you're screwed. Or maybe not. They just might be in the right mood to give you the conversation you want.

Doesn't take me much energy at all not to be an asshole when dealing with people who have nothing to do with whatever's put me in a shit mood. Sorry you have a problem doing that. It's one thing to not be super bubbly happy, but it's actually pretty easy to be kind, or at least not actively rude, to other people.

Go ahead justifying yourself all you want, I guess? I'll still think you're a dick if I have to deal with you and you act like a dick. I'm not sure why I need to have "compassion" for you because you can't be bothered to spend ten seconds being friendly to other people.

I suggest you have a little compassion for dumb people and people with problems

How are you supposed to know if someone is dumb or has problems, or is just an asshole? If someone acts like an asshole the automatic conclusion you'll draw in the time it takes to respond to them is that they're an asshole. You don't stop to think about how they might just be dumb, lol.

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[ SECRET POST #2737 ]

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