[ SECRET POST #2815 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2815 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.


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03.
[John Green]


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04.
(Hemlock Grove)


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05.


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06.


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07. [posted twice]


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08.
[Russell Edwards' Naming Jack the Ripper]


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09.
[Coronation Street]
















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 020 secrets from Secret Submission Post #402.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[jaybie_jarrett]

"Sorry for butting in and (quite possibly) being very rude as it's really not my business, but is there anyway you can stick up to your mother about her not taking your Internet from you without worsening the issue? "

Not really. That or making me feel bad for getting upset and being reminded that "you live in our house and we provide for you.

I've tried but "it's their house and their internet" is what I get. Also according to my Dad what I pay every week is not even as much as I would be paying in the "real world" and I should be lucky I'm only paying that. Because they're trying to "teach me the living costs money"

[(Anonymous)]

I would not necessarily trust your dad's judgment on what you're paying and how far it would go. I'm not going to ask what that number is or where you are, but you might check out some cost of living sites or something to confirm his assertion.

[jaybie_jarrett]

Half my paycheck *sighs* not even a fixed amount. Half of EVERY paycheck.

[dancing_clown]

Yeah, nothing about this sounds right.

[jaybie_jarrett]

Yeah. A lot of people say that but my parents wave it off as "yeah yeah they're probably living with THEIR parents"

One day I hope to find a psychologist who will take my side.

[dancing_clown]

They can wave it off, but I haven't lived with my parents, even for a summer, in 10 years.

[diet_poison]

Do you work full time?

Rent shouldn't be half of a paycheck, assuming you also need money for groceries, gas money, car insurance, and other personal costs. That's just not realistic (unless you make enough money to get a really nice apartment, I guess).

What are you using the rest of your money for? Are you saving up for an apartment deposit or something? Do you pay your own car insurance, phone bill, etc.?

[jaybie_jarrett]

Part time, atm Hoping to get to full time.

Apparently it goes to those expenses. Or it goes to a fund they're saving for me.

They were never really consistent about that. and got mad at me for asking about that later. Ughhh

[(Anonymous)]

TBQH, if they were sincere about wanting you to behave like an adult, they should be delighted if you asked for an accounting of those funds. Just so they're not, you know, treating it as mad money.

[jaybie_jarrett]

Yeah that's kinda weird. I was like "why tell me that if you're going to get mad when I ASK about it? "They're like "you wouldn't tell your landlord how to spend the money you give him?"

and I'm just like 'BUT YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE DOING THIS!"

[(Anonymous)]

Of course you wouldn't tell your landlord how to spend your rent, but when you're paying money to someone who's allegedly holding it in trust for you, then they should have no problems accounting to you for it. As a matter of fact, they should encourage it.

[(Anonymous)]

Can you ask them if you can pay your own bills, instead of them just taking half your paycheck? Or talk to them about how they are using your money, framing it as a "preparing to leave the nest, so I need to know how much money I need to spend on groceries" sorta question? Alternatively, how much more you need to save in that fund to get enough for a apartment deposit?

What your parents are doing just seems so iffy to me...

[jaybie_jarrett]

Hm

I could try that...Not sure if it will work but I can try it.

[diet_poison]

My mom found a cool budget sheet and sat down with me filling it out, so I could get an idea of how much it would cost per month to live on my own. It had all the specific expenses, from food to rent down to personal grooming and entertainment and even charity. She just went to bed, but if I remember tomorrow I'll ask her where she got it and send it to you. (Remind me if you think about it.)

[(Anonymous)]

"a fund they're saving for me"

Uh no. It's one thing to take rent money, or money toward expenses of the house. The rest of the time, they have no business managing your finances. You are an adult and they just need to back off on that.

My mother kept meddling in my finances until I was about your age and it caused a nasty mess when I had to track down a bunch of stuff that was in my name (okay, so this was an extreme example).

[jaybie_jarrett]

I think they think that because of my disorder and how it makes me less mature they need to do this stuff and go really overboard.

and like...in the past when I had my first job I got in a bunch of spending trouble and I had no rent. But i was like...really young and unprepared then.

[(Anonymous)]

Right. If you're a kid/teen, sometimes you mess up and you learn from it.

Are they worried you have zero financial sense, period? Or did they just not teach you about how to handle money (at the time of your first job), and now they're overcompensating for it?

[diet_poison]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but autism is a social disorder, right? Everything I've ever heard about it indicates that autistic individuals are just as intelligent as, if not more so, than your average person. So saying that they need to hold your money for you is kind of ???. Like are you going to just go spend it all? Clearly you're smart enough (at least, you seem to be to me?) to make a budget sheet and put numbers in it for fuck's sake.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, this. As a rule of thumb, you should be paying out no more than 1/3 of your income for rent; but if someone is working only 20 hours a week at minimum wage, that would mean they'd need to find an apartment- or house-sharing situation where you were paying no more than $200 a month, and it would likely mean living with at least two roommates. Depending where you are, it could be hard to find something nice on those terms.

[jaybie_jarrett]

yeaaaaaah.


I wish to share a house with someone -hopefully my boyfriend-in the future.

[diet_poison]

Is your boyfriend able to give you rides places? If so, any chance he could teach you to drive?

[(Anonymous)]

SA
This might not be the *most* helpful site, but it could point you in a direction. http://swz.salary.com/costoflivingwizard/layoutscripts/coll_start.aspx

Also, if you want an idea, just do an apartment search to compare.

[jaybie_jarrett]

Thank you. that's helpful.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I read your reply to the anon above me as well, and I'm sorry, that seems really tough *hugs if wanted*

"*sighs* and half the time I'm doubting if I'm in the right for being upset or come across as a brat or selfish."

From my point of view, you have every right to be upset. Your parents seem to really take their control of you to the extreme, and I hope you'll be able to get out as it really does not seem to be a healthy environment for you.

[jaybie_jarrett]

Yeah. I'm like never sure about myself here. :/


I literally feel like Rapunzel sometimes.

I replied to that TWICE. what's wrong with me.