[ SECRET POST #358 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #358 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Oh yeah, go contribute if you haven't (and want to)!

Secrets Left to Post: 12 pages, 289 secrets from Secret Submission Post #052.
Secrets Not Posted: 0 broken links, 0 not!secrets, 0 not!fandom, [ 1 ] repeat, [ 1 ] parody.
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Sunday, December 30th, 2007.
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: 31...and a very loquacious lowfat

[lowfatcheezwhiz.livejournal.com]

While we would agree with you, we are unsure of which "she" you are referring to.

If it is the secret maker, we are not sure how you got to that assumption based on the text in the image. It isn't wise to assume, and while, again, we would agree that may have been the intent, we are concerned that the secret maker couldn't be clearer in light of the fact they are trying to correct certain disinformation of other "writers". A "Physician, heal thyself" moment.

We would also put forth that many yaoi and slash writers are very much aware of the realities of anal sex and the mess that is involved but don't find it applicable to their story, or even necessary to indulge in certain detailed descriptions of what happens when two people have sex, and the messes therein. They opt, instead, for the storytelling from an emotional perspective, which is what usually drives many female authors of yaoi and slash.

Re: 31...and a very loquacious lowfat

[case]

I just imagined somebody writing like "totally realistic sex"

and including a line like "and the smell of her vagina wafted up like three or four dead fish"

and died

a lot

Re: 31...and a very loquacious lowfat

[lowfatcheezwhiz.livejournal.com]

We find that most amusing ourselves. Certainly, most people read porn and romance for the graphic depictions of what exactly happens during sex, right?

Re: 31...and a very loquacious lowfat

[case]

DUH

It's not good porn if it doesn't include an enema before buttsecks. And descriptions of little crapples going down the shower draingjkdfvAAAAAAUGH WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYghetljkghalkhfdkdff

Make it stop

Re: 31...and a very loquacious lowfat

[lowfatcheezwhiz.livejournal.com]

*pats on technophile* There there, cupcake. Think about beautiful things to scourge the nasty images from your mind.

Kittens. We are especially fond of the Kitten Distraction and have had much use with that one.

Re: 31...and a very loquacious lowfat

[ius-naturale.livejournal.com]

Wow, sorry I got you fired up. I don't dispute or question what slash writers know. I'm not in their heads and I don't know what their individual experiences are. I don't care either. I don't read slash.

I was just offering up one of the possible things that the secret poster could be referring to in the matter of what is "really" involved in actual gay sex. It was a suggestion or possibility, not a correction or final statement. I had thought that perhaps she meant that real slash writers wouldn't like it if they knew how unclean and messy it really was, if they really watched two regular men have sex, not sterile images in yaoi or in print fiction. That was all that I was saying. So, don't get upset, please. I didn't mean to offend you.

Re: 31...and a very loquacious lowfat

[lowfatcheezwhiz.livejournal.com]

Do you get attacked regularly, kitten? Once more you are making assumptions. Please do not paint motivations upon us that are not there. We do not wear that fashion well, as it clashes with our button eyes.

No where in our comment did we indicate we were angry. We are not sure where you got that impression.

We actually agree with you. We are just warning against making assumptions. The secret maker is not telepathic, neither are we. It's more a matter of say what you mean. mean what you say,, neither of which the secret maker has done as they were (deliberately? who's to say? We certainly can't) vague and quite nonspecific.

As our sockpuppet handler is male, he assures us that actual anal sex (and it's not exclusive to gay sex, by the by. Many heterosexual and bisexual couples enjoy anal sex) can be quite messy and smelly, dependent on many factors. We continue to assert, however, that the medium by which yaoi/slash/het writers usually express themselves, is of a romantic nature and we are not convinced that most readers (who are more than likely other female authors but will allow that many male authors, too) would be interested in the discussion of skid marks, pools of brown on the sheets and other such distasteful, but very realistic, descriptions of what anal sex entails.

It is us who should apologize for apparently triggering a very negative reaction in you.

Re: 31...and a very loquacious lowfat

[kinneas.livejournal.com]

...Why are you talking in royal plurals?

Re: 31...and a very loquacious lowfat

[lowfatcheezwhiz.livejournal.com]

Because we are sock!

Re: 31...and a very loquacious lowfat

[kinneas.livejournal.com]

Makes as much sense as anything.

Re: 31...and a very loquacious lowfat

[ius-naturale.livejournal.com]

I don't get attacked regularly, no. I don't usually have to face aggressive people at home or at work. I certainly don't invite it upon myself while walking down the street, either. Like I said, it doesn't matter to me why slash is written and why it is appealing. I was just offering a suggestion as to what the secret meant. I'll try not to do that to one of your comments in the future.

Re: 31...and a very loquacious lowfat

[lowfatcheezwhiz.livejournal.com]

If it makes you feel better to make us the enemy, pidgeon, knock yourself out. We were just suggesting for you to not put meaning into other people's mouths and read into their comments more than was there.

Not once was there an attack against you from us. We were just having a discussion. You apparently took offense and tried to lay the onus of that back onto us to make yourself appear the victim of an attack in what was a discussion you were obviously uncomfortable with having started.

But it seems to make it easier for you to get along in the world to make us the bad guy, so carry on.

However, yes. In the future, kindly do not assign motivations, or assume meaning to us and what we say. The secret maker may appreciate that. We do not.

Re: 31...and a very loquacious lowfat

[ius-naturale.livejournal.com]

Are you for real? Enemy? That's taking the words of a discussion way out of proportion, especially from someone who has been rude to someone who has refrained from condensation and aggression. I don't have enemies, sweetie, because that takes more effort than I'm willing to give for anything but fucking and teaching. On a scale of 0 to ten, your words rank a definite 0 on the happiness of my life. So why do I need to make you an enemy? I didn't take offense, I just raised an eyebrow and wondered if were this unpleasant in your normal life. But, it's not my problem if you are or aren't, so good luck being unpleasant to people.

And apparently, I wasn't being assumptive. I was being perceptive. Good to know. Now, go along now. Go write more emotional kissing and clean slash and make the gay male community wonder if you really understand anything about then at all. I'm done with you.

*keeps it anon!*

[(Anonymous)]

I was just offering up one of the possible things that the secret poster could be referring to in the matter of what is "really" involved in actual gay sex. It was a suggestion or possibility, not a correction or final statement. I had thought that perhaps she meant that real slash writers wouldn't like it if they knew how unclean and messy it really was, if they really watched two regular men have sex, not sterile images in yaoi or in print fiction. That was all that I was saying. So, don't get upset, please. I didn't mean to offend you.

That's exactly what I meant.

Re: *keeps it anon!*

[ius-naturale.livejournal.com]

Oh good. I'm glad I'm not crazy and assumptive, but rather perceptive.

Re: *keeps it anon!*

[(Anonymous)]

I'm glad you're keeping a level head when it comes to the seriousness of fandom!secrets.

Re: *keeps it anon!*

[(Anonymous)]

that's not what you said, tho.

Re: *keeps it anon!*

[(Anonymous)]

Oh good. I'm glad someone is around to tell me what I was thinking. :D It's a fandom secret bb. Simmer down now.

Re: *keeps it anon!*

[(Anonymous)]

actually, it was hard to tell from your secret what you were thinking or if you were thinking at all. or simply wished to start wank. *golfclap*

Re: *keeps it anon!*

[ryuutchi.livejournal.com]

That's not what you said, and also is ridiculously stupid.

Re: *keeps it anon!*

[(Anonymous)]

I think I know what I said, honey. Not my problem everyone jumps to the wrong conclusion.

Re: *keeps it anon!*

[ryuutchi.livejournal.com]

If everyone keeps jumping to the same conclusion, maybe the problem is with how you phrased it and not how we're taking it.

Re: *keeps it anon!*

[(Anonymous)]

SMALL MATHMATICAL EQUATION:

GAY ANAL SEX (GAS) = 2M IN WHICH M=MEN, SUBTRACTED BY NO LUBE (-NL) WHICH IS DOUBLED BY NO CONDOM (-NC) IS EQUAL TO 2M - (NL + NC) = REALLY PAINFUL AND YOU MAY VERY WELL RIP ANAL TISSUE.

NOW

GAS = 2M + NC + NL = Good fun happy time!

You see, the reality of sex in which a penis (or dildo, or butt plug) is inserted into the anal cavity is that it requires lube and a condom, because you do not want fecal matter on your penis. Much more, the tissue is so very sensative that, should you just shove a penis in there without proper lubrication? you're causing more harm to the reciever than you imagine.

Which is the point here. Yaoi and most slash writers fail to realise this. You can say it's because the "romance" of it all, but I've seem some pure porn-driven stories that leave this out. Lupin coming up to Sirius in the shower and just ramming his cock in? Sorry. Unless there is ~~magical~~ lube on dicks in writen fiction, that 90% of readers probably aren't aware of, the logistics are really off.

That was the point here.

Not two men screwing in general, because that's pretty hot. But more the fact that the most important part of fucking is the condom, and the lube, and they are being left out. Not even mentioned. So the assumption then becomes, "Oh, they're not using any? ...um..." and quite frankly, I'd prefer to read how Harry protected his penis when he shoved it into Ron's ass and didn't get some foreign disease than to read how he just rammed it in and then, well. No complications. As slash writers, we need to be more reponsible for the wellfare of our characters penises, am I right or am I right?

Re: *keeps it anon!*

[(Anonymous)]

I'd prefer to read how Harry protected his penis when he shoved it into Ron's ass and didn't get some foreign disease than to read how he just rammed it in and then, well. No complications.

so those are the only two alternatives? we must not be reading the same things.

Yaoi and most slash writers fail to realise this.

Do they? Do all of them fail to realise this? sweeping generalizations for the win! we are DEFINITELY not reading the same things then.

Re: *keeps it anon!*

[ryuutchi.livejournal.com]

Erh. You do realize that anal sex is enjoyed by couples of all orientations and thus many writers do, in fact, know how it works? As other people ave noted, a lot of writers simplify it because they're writing fantasy sex, the same way many writers of heterosexual porn do that same thing. There is a large range of reality in all orientations of porn.