[ SECRET POST #2925 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2925 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.











Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 046 secrets from Secret Submission Post #418.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

08. http://i.imgur.com/YyHW6XR.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think that's strange, OP. So you feel awkward discussing who you find attractive. No biggie.

[(Anonymous)]

I have the opposite problem. I objectify everyone equally and with gusto. I dgaf. If you're hot, you're hot. Either you know it already and it won't affect you anymore or you don't know it and it makes your day. I feel it's my duty to let you know that I, a representative of the congregation of horny females, find you attractive. I'm not going to sleep with you (I'm married), but I appreciate your beauty like it belongs in a museum.

[lb_lee]

Enh, don't worry about it. It took me a long time before I felt comfortable macking on my own husband! (Then I slowly realized how much he enjoyed it, that he wouldn't use it as an excuse to hurt me, and that it was fun telling him that he had the BEST Disney Princess hair.)

Some skills just take regular practice. *eyebrow waggle*

[solticisekf]

I think you're just shy, OP. Like, if you find someone attractive then they should find you attractive in return, and that places some pressure on you. Or you like to keep you tastes in humans secret. Or something else. It's all fine.

[(Anonymous)]

OP, you're making this much bigger than it needs to be.

You're not weird or broken or strange.

I do this, too. That's not to say I don't have any sexual desire, (hell, I'm bisexual! The irony!) I simply don't feel comfortable discussing it openly and making comments about other people in that way. I've never understood the "infatuation with celebrities" thing. And that's okay! You shouldn't have to do that if you don't want to, like with everything else.

IDK, there can be a lot of pressure not to be "prudish", and our culture is a lot more sexually "open" now, but if you're not comfortable with something, you're not comfortable with it. Fuck 'em.

[iceyred]

I don't like talking about what I find hot in real life either. Unless the topic of Richard Armitage comes up, then I really have nothing to say. I can do it online just fine, but not irl.

You're not alone, OP.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh my god, I'm the same. Somehow it makes me feel self conscious and embarrassed to say when I find someone hot.

[(Anonymous)]

Is this a situation you find yourself in a lot? Because if so, you really might want to work on adjusting your reaction or being honest about how you feel. Because it's not very nice to ignore entirely or react with the complete and total disinterest that "meh" implies. Were I a part of that friendship, I suspect I'd begin to feel undervalued and unappreciated and would not stay in it for long.

[(Anonymous)]

Sure if you need constant validation in yourself and your interests, a friendship with you might be in danger. But honestly it doesn't sound like any big loss based on this comment.

[(Anonymous)]

Or maybe they could talk about other things?

[diet_poison]

wow really? you'd leave a friendship just because someone doesn't want to talk about who they're attracted to

wtf

[(Anonymous)]

IA but more on the honesty level. If OP doesn't feel comfortable talking about it and to the point where they lie about their faves, they should just tell the people they are talking about it to they don't want to. There are other aspects to fandom life other than who's hot or not to talk about.

What I don't get is why they person they are talking to this about isn't more self aware that OP obviously don't like the subject. From their description it sounds like they are pretty repellent to the subject matter and if they kept doing it I doubt I'd want to talk to them about it again after getting an ton of detached responses.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I actually love to talk, and my friends often say I'm a good listener, I can talk about stuff that I personally don't find interesting, I'm not ignoring my friends. It's just this one thing I can't force myself to talk about, I don't know why I find it so embarassing. I have no problem saying when I think someone of the same gender is attractive, it's weird.

[silverr]

I think I can understand this, OP: you're not comfortable expressing such sentiments.

I'm going to toss an idea out for your consideration: I have a hunch that not everyone who actually says they find a character or actor hot (or swoon-worthy, or spoonable, or panty-dampening, etc) is actually feeling genuine sexual attraction or arousal. I have a feeling that some people might be making such comments in a public space mostly because it's expected, but in truth what they're secretly feeling is something much more like aesthetic appreciation. I realize this is sort of the flip side of what you're talking about in your secret, OP, but my point is that, here as elsewhere, there's not a 100% correlation between waht people are actually feeling, and what they admit to feeling or claim to be feeling.

tl;dr: I think you're still on the bell-shape of normal, OP. <3

[a_potato]

Why can't you express your feelings of attraction/desire? What do you feel when you think about doing so? Does it make you anxious? Does it make you feel guilt or shame?

Our society is really weird. It presents sex as something that's exciting and to be sought after, but it also presents it as something that's bad and dirty, especially if you're a woman. That doesn't exactly lend itself to...balance. You're not abnormal by any means, but it's probably worth sitting down and thinking about why saying, "yeah, he's hot" makes you uncomfortable.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I've been thinking about the reason behind this for a long time. I guess I do feel guilty for liking someone, like I shouldn't. I feel like if I share my thoughts on that with anyone they'll think either a) "LOL she thinks he's hot, like he'd ever look at her twice" or b) LOL she thinks he's hot, is she blind or what". I -know- it's irrational, that's why it started to bother me. Like, for once, I'd like to actually be able to say YES that guy is fucking adorable.

My taste in men has always been slighly on the not conventionally hot side, so that makes it even harder because I just go "I know, right" when someone makes a not very flattering comment about someone I find the cutest thing ever. I just wanna slap myself sometimes.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm am exactly the same way, except I don't really want to change. What do people care who I think is hot?

[(Anonymous)]

It's not that big a deal, and it doesn't make you abnormal or anything.

[(Anonymous)]

Weirdly, I'm like this with music. I feel really strange sharing my music interests with others, even when directly asked. I want to wear headphones even at home. The thing is, I'm not even passionate about music at all and have few strong opinions on it. It just feels intensely private to me.

I think it stems partly from having no music-playing device except a walkman as a kid, so I came to see music as something enjoyed only privately, and partly because some people can be so incredibly judgy about music tastes that they'll flip out on you if the station you happen to have the radio tuned to plays something they don't like and I want none of that.

[(Anonymous)]

Me too. With both music and people I find attractive.

I think my family just thinks I don't like music...

[(Anonymous)]

There's nothing wrong with you, OP. I didn't experience romantic attraction until I was 13 and I experienced no sexual attraction until at least 17. It is possible that you are asexual. Here is a link to a good resource with more information about that.

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

Regardless of what you are don't worry about it. Not everyone is the same and that's okay.

[(Anonymous)]

Why would you want to change? Not everybody has to be exactly the same as everyone else.

If you need courage for anything, it's to accept yourself for how you are, even if you're in the minority.

[(Anonymous)]

I used to not be, but as I've gotten older I've started becoming secretive like this. Mostly because I feel people are very judgmental of someone my age liking what I do.

[diabolicalfiend]

I'm about your age and I don't find it comfortable to talk about. It's less a shame reaction as... I'm feeling that people either don't care, or are going to box me into one of those categories that people seem absolutely intent on keeping people in. Talking about sex feels so restrictive. Often my 'meh' is less than a reaction to sex itself, and more about the discussion. And it's not even that I don't like the talking about it I just wish it didn't feel the chore it is.

And as for 'not normal'? I don't know. 'Normal' is a word often used to hurt people and rarely actually useful.

Of course it should be easier for us to talk about finding so and so attractive. But is that really our issue or the issue of a society where so much importance and outright contradiction is put on the discussion that it's so fraught or dreary for us to engage in?