fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2957 ]

[ SECRET POST #2957 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2957 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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i think the term you're looking for is "best friend forever"

Best friend forever doesn't necessarily imply "non-relationship lifemates that you probably live with" though. Best friend is the more general group that "non-relationship lifemates that you probably live with" may fall in, but so does "friends"

Why do you need "best friend forever" if you can just say "friend"? It is a friend, isn't it? Or are you going to say it's a specific type of friend, because sometimes people like being specific, but that doesn't apply when it's terms you don't like?

I'm not a fan of throwing queer in there, but having a word for it is not a bad thing in itself

Dude, married doesn't mean forever. NOTHING means forever.

except best friend forever

Where did married come from

The person implied that queerplatonic means forever while best friends doesn't. Well, even the most "forever" of relationships (marriage) doesn't mean forever. So queerplatonic is no more forever than best friends.

Wha huh? Living together doesn't imply marriage or foreverness and hasn't for decades. It literally means living together which most BFFs do not do afaik

DA

It literally means living together which most BFFs do not do afaik

...they don't? So roommates always have to be enemies? IDK there's something off with your logic here, anon.

da

Roommates can be BFFs, but not all BFFs are roommates... Many BFFs will live together at one point in their lives, but people typically are not expected to live together with someone (even a very close friend) long-term unless that someone is a family member or a romantic/sexual partner.

The kind of relationship that queerplatonic (etymologically flawed though it definitely is) is meant to describe is one that involves the same kind of long-term commitment you find in a romantic relationship, just in a platonic way. I've seen it likened to life partnership. Personally, it always reminds me a lot of the concept of romantic friendship.

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dreemyweird - 2015-02-08 00:02 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2015-02-08 02:58 (UTC) - Expand

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dahli - 2015-02-08 02:08 (UTC) - Expand

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were_lemur - 2015-02-08 17:34 (UTC) - Expand

"Most"

So? What does "most" have to do with anything? Some roommates are best friends too.

thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis

I think in Australia they have another word for super-close platonic friends - "mates." Doesn't specify living together or anything though.

Yeah, I am using this one now. Maybe it is appropriate; I feel like if there's a difference between "queerplatonic" and "BFFs", then it is too fine for me, as an ESL, to see, so I can't really object. I'd be glad if a native speaker confirmed that they're basically the same, though.

Well, "queerplatonic" isn't a thing. Or rather, it's a made up word to describe something that already has a word, and in my opinion, putting "queer" in it makes it pretty offensive. It appropriates 'queer', which is still something that gay people deal with very seriously. Even if it is well-intentioned, as a gay person, I'd be pretty annoyed with anyone using "queer" to describe themselves if they are gay or transgender.

Oh, no, I didn't mean the difference between the words themselves. I absolutely agree that "queerplatonic" isn't a good word to use. I meant the semantic difference - does "BFF" imply all the same things "queerplatonic" implies (the "queerness" issue aside)?

I would say no, but that's due to personal experiences. There's at least one person in my life with whom I'm not in a romance that best friendship isn't enough to cover.

I don't know what I would call that relationship, though. Not a romance. Not anything with queer in it certainly. There isn't really a word for it.

I think the word is still "best friends." Just because people sometimes throw around the word to describe any acquaintance who they spend more time with than any other acquaintance, doesn't mean the term isn't accurate.

I know what a best friend is, thank you. You on the other hand don't know my relationship with the person in question and you really don't get to tell me it's 'just best friends' when I literally just told you it's not and it's more than that with no word for it.

Please don't do that.

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(Anonymous) - 2015-02-08 00:39 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2015-02-08 00:55 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2015-02-08 02:42 (UTC) - Expand

I would say 'best friend' is exactly that. I don't think there is a "more than best friend".

...did you mean to say if they aren't gay or transgender? otherwise this is kind of a confusing comment

DA

"Friends are the family you get to choose." Better?

I think because 'queer' refers to sexuality and gender. i.e., someone who isn't a cis straight person.

It would be really weird to apply the label "queer" to two heterosexual cis dudes who are platonic best friends and decide to live together because why-the-hell-not, and have no desire to go get married to a couple of women even if they are attracted to them. Because their sexual orientation has nothing to do with their relationship with each other -- they just personally prefer to live with each other and don't feel any desire to live with romantic partners instead.

It's pretty ridiculous to think that the only way someone would ever choose this living arrangement over living with a romantic partner is if they're not heterosexual. Just because it's rare doesn't mean it's oppressed. And it minimizes the actual experience of actual queer people who do get flack (real, life-impacting flack, not a few "lol, you guys act so gay!" jokes) for their relationships and living arrangements.

but that's a term teenagers use to describe a relationship that is usually not like that at all

And? If a term is misused by a group it means it can never be used with the other (right/true) meaning again by other people?

does "best friend forever" actually have a "right/true" meaning?

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