[ SECRET POST #2958 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2958 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 054 secrets from Secret Submission Post #423.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Dump his ass

[chardmonster]

If he's not getting ready to cheat on you, he's going to. That's assuming this girl lives a good distance away. If she's chose it's likely he's already cheating on you.

Besides, he sounds like a jerk and you don't need that. Someone who is "going on about dreams he's had of me cheating on him" and acting like that when you talk to guys is toxic.

EDIT: Oh man. You mean she's calling him to pick her up? Yeah. He's either cheating or wants to. I'm not saying this because she's a female friend. I'm saying this because of his other behavior.

Question: does he freak out when you almost see a text from her? Are you never allowed to see their conversations?

Re: Dump his ass

[(Anonymous)]

Whoa, that's a hell of a conclusion to jump to. I don't get "cheater" out of that-- I certainly get "insecure with white-knight tendencies", but I wouldn't jump straight to "he's cheating."

Granted, we could talk about what constitutes emotional cheating, and if that's what's going on, but it's entirely possible that they are in fact just friends.

Re: Dump his ass

[chardmonster]

Oh wow. So wait. A guy worried about his friend is a "white-knight" now?

No. I'm suspicious because she comes up when they fight and he's acting all suspicious of OP cheating.

OP, dump him. Whether he's a cheater or not this is an unhealthy relationship.

Re: Dump his ass

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't necessarily agree that he's definitely cheating or going to cheat. A lot of what the OP describes would raise alarm bells for me, but I'm also a very jealous and insecure person. If the OP is, too, her view of events might be skewed. (To the OP: You can be jealous without disliking her. Jealousy is often about the person you care about, not the person they care about.)

But on the other hand, I wouldn't rule cheating out. It mostly depends on how he acts in other areas. Does he talk openly on the phone with her, or is their friendship very hush-hush? Would he be upset if you accidentally looked at his email inbox/text record? Does he 'work late' a lot, or is he hard to get ahold of when he's out with friends?

I think the OP would need to look hard at her relationship and their history unless there are more red flags than 'he's got a friend and she's a girl and they're pretty close sometimes'.

But I also think this is the sort of thing her and her bf need to seriously talk about.

Re: Dump his ass

[(Anonymous)]

I think this is not the worst advice. It's pessimistic but a realistic perspective and it's good to remember that. And also, that you can just dump the dude.

Re: Dump his ass

[ketita]

I kind of tend to agree. The dreaming about cheating thing combined with the constant weird jealousy about texting sounds like the beginning of something bad, and probably some kind of projection by him.
Either way, it's not healthy.

Re: Dump his ass

[(Anonymous)]

Horrible as ever. Chard.

OP, I'm sure you know, but Chard is a particularly malignant troll. I'd be hesitant to take her advice on anything, particularly matters of romance.

Re: Dump his ass

[(Anonymous)]

She coulda phrased it better, but she's kind of right. There are two huge flags here: he talks to this girl whenever things are going bad in the relationship (and pretends he doesn't even know her otherwise, which, c'mon, you don't just "forget" about someone you've been talking to for 11 years), and he suddenly, out of nowhere, has gotten really paranoid about OP cheating.

Thing is, it's really, really common for someone who's cheating or seriously thinking about cheating to start projecting onto their partner. They wanna divert attention from themselves and they also think, "well, if I'm cheating, why wouldn't they cheat, too?" Dollars to donuts if he isn't already fooling around, he's planning to.

It really, really sucks, but that's most likely what's going on at this point.

Re: Dump his ass

[chardmonster]

Did I insult your OC or something