fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2972 ]

[ SECRET POST #2972 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2972 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

__________________________________________________

13.

__________________________________________________

14.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 072 secrets from Secret Submission Post #425.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I hate it when guys whine about how "all those women are getting it wrong." Get over yourselves, it's fucking porn. Since when is porn of any kind realistic?

Do het fics feature women pissing after they fuck? Do all femslash fics use dental dams? Do any fics ever go into fart noises made when air gets trapped between you or how gross cold body fluids feel? No? Why the fuck do you think they don't? Because it's not fucking sexy.

Unless they're pulling ridiculous shit like penises hitting ovaries who the fuck cares, it's porn. Everyone knows it's not realistic. Nobody is trying to be.

Complain that slash fic sex is formulaic if you want- because it is- but its so fucking embarrassing when queer guys get on their high horse about how women are ruining everything because they don't know better. As a queer dude who likes slash, fuck off

I have a problem with "slash is so unrealistic" because it kind of assumes that it's inherently impossible for to guys to ever in the history of ever have that type of relationships, and gay relationships are a certain way that cannot be that.

I get formulaic yaoi or whatever is about as realistic as a ravishment romance novel. Theoretically possible, but pretty fantastical.

But any slash about two guys? Can't happen? Unless you're referring directly to the porn (in which case, whatever, but I agree, it's porn, does it have to be realistic?) but I here this argument about slash relationships in general.

I was talking particularly about the tendency that bi and gay guys have of getting on their high horses and pointing out how "women" are getting gay sex wrong in slash fic, assuming they know nothing about gay sex and have no idea it's not realistic because lol what do women know, amirite?

And somehow doesn't apply when women read and enjoy ravishment novels because everyone knows those aren't realistic but women really think slash fic sex is real guys. Really. They do! They think all real live gay men have sex like slash fic!

It's super secondhand embarrassing and sexist.

I agree with your other points though.

And it doesn't apply to men enjoying "lesbian" porn meant for straight men, or rapey het porn. If any woman got on a high horse about THAT, she'd be trashed as an anti-porn feminazi.

Queefing is actually a fetish, so yes to that one.

In fetish smut in particular yea, in general smutfic not so much though.

but its so fucking embarrassing when queer guys get on their high horse about how women are ruining everything because they don't know better

Lol, I remember when a gay dude at a sherlock comm very self righteously tried to educate women who wrote anal sex as if it was just inconceivable that that they (like other writers, tv shows, movies, etc) were simply romanticizing certain aspects of sex for the sake of sexiness. It also apparently never occurred to him that at least some of those women have probably had anal sex themselves (hell, I have and I know a lot of other women who really enjoy it as well. Doesn't mean I'm going to write it with clinical preciseness)

I fucking cringed, that's exactly what I mean. Way to assume every women there is a 14 years old virgin or something, jesus. It's condescending and douchey

It's especially frustrating to me because when gay/bi/pan men write porn, it's rarely any more realistic than the slash fics they decry. They just choose different elements to eroticize. Everyone writes porn one-handed and through a vaseline-coated lens, guys.

Like by all means make fun of the stuff that's completely wrong (like dicks hitting ovaries lol), but often the complaints are just weird things or stuff like "well women can never know what it really feels like because they don't have the right equipment" which has the added bonus of being kind of cissexist.

Not that slash as written by straight women isn't frequently fetishizing and low-key homophobic, but that's a whole different animal.

Yeah this. I've read a lot of online gay fiction, both sites that are female dominated (such as fanfiction-based hosts) and sites that are male dominated.

Both can be unrealistic, but the style is usually noticeably different. The male writers tend to emphasize different kinks and play up different acts of sex compared with the female writers.

But neither is inherently more realistic. (it is funny to see the different kinks though. just reading a fic, you can make a very educated guess if the writer is male or female)

Lol, right? Most porn written by guys you can tell right away because it specifically mentions dick sizes and perfect asses and buckets of semen and shit like that which is exactly as fucking unrealistic, only about different aspects of the sex. I have written slash for both mostly male readership and mostly female readership and it's not any more realistic in either one, it just focuses on different things. It's not any more "incorrect" to follow the general tropes of one genre you are writing in than another

And yea I have no problem with people talking about homophobia and fetishization where it applies, but assuming it does of every single fic and that women are just dumb or intentionally sexist is stupid as fuck

I was going to say the same thing! God, what's with the improbably sized dicks and the buckets of semen?

And the corny 'dirty talk', complete with CAPLOCKS and exclamation signs!!!!

I still remember noping the hell out of a story after the MC marveled at one partner's penis being "at least as big as my lower arm".

It was presented as being positive.

D:

Holy crap, yes. I find a lot of the porn/sex stuff written by men to be just...off-putting. They seem to focus on some of the grosser bits of sex, use really gross slang, and in general just make me want to hit the back button.

Not that women writers don't do the same, sometimes, but i've found that 9 out of 10 male writers just write really yucky sex scenes (for me), and women just...do it better. (I'm talking 'love' scenes to down and dirty pwp, for the record.)

OP & ayrt

I can see the appeal in both- and both can get filthy in different ways- but that's the thing, they're two completely different genres. Saying one is more realistic and better than the other is like saying sci fi is more realistic than fantasy which is irrelevant because both are fucking made up and it's stupid to seriously judge someone for liking one more than the other

"Realistic" is bullshit in either case

Yup. That's why i get so annoyed with people who agitate for big, long scenes in kink-fic about consent, and safe words, and blah blah blah. If that's *part of the kink*, sure, go for it. But if i ask you for 1000 words of dirtybadwrong spanking and orgasm denial, knock it off with the 'are you okay?' every two sentences and gimme some damn spankings! Or whatever.

Porn /= reality, and that's kinda the point.

ayrt

Lol, that's kind of funny if you think about it like the old joke. The masochist says spank me and the sadist says no

Heeeee!

Also, realistically if you're doing that kinda thing, you don't want your partner constantly saying "are you okay." That can ruin a scene, because while you're being spanked and dominated, you want to be spanked and dominated. If you wanted someone to be all caring and loving during sex, well, that's the kind of sex you'd be having!

"Are you okay" is for aftercare, and for if the safe word is used. I feel like people who write kink that way feel like they have to write it for some reason but don't actually understand it at all.

Exactly. It seems to me you set up your ideas/needs/boundaries *beforehand*, and then you go for it. Obviously, if there's an issue or something, that is what the safeword or whatever is for. But the continuous questioning *during* always made me think that a) the person writing wasn't sure of what they were writing and/or b) the 'dom' in the story was very, very, very inexperienced.

Agreed, although I will say that the obviously anatomically impossible stuff will pull me out of a story whether it's het or slash. Like, if it's obvious that a move wouldn't work without one person being 6 inches taller or having an extra elbow, then it's just going to ruin the mood for me. Also, with het, dick hitting cervix is not sexy. Owie!

Apparently some find the cervix thing sexy, but aaaaugh it wasn't when it happened to me DX

Agreed, SO MUCH. That kind of behaviour is cringey.

It's wish fulfilment, it's fantasy, it's not going to be realistic.

(On a semi-related note, I kind of dislike it when authors of fanfic set in historical times get criticized for writing happy endings or handwaving any "gay angst" because it's "unrealistic". It's fanfic, can't we have a magical land where homophobia doesn't exist, just this one?)

Yeah, there's a fair amount of this in pro m/m reviews, with an edge of jealous resentment about it that's very silly when directed at self-published books. Nobody's stopping you from putting out the super-duper-realistic novel of your dreams, dudes, or supporting those who write gay characters/relationships/sex the way you want them written. I do like to seek out gay reviewers who hate the same tropes I do, though, heh.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2972 ]

"omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"