fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2972 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2972 ⌋

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Notes:

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Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's especially frustrating to me because when gay/bi/pan men write porn, it's rarely any more realistic than the slash fics they decry. They just choose different elements to eroticize. Everyone writes porn one-handed and through a vaseline-coated lens, guys.

Like by all means make fun of the stuff that's completely wrong (like dicks hitting ovaries lol), but often the complaints are just weird things or stuff like "well women can never know what it really feels like because they don't have the right equipment" which has the added bonus of being kind of cissexist.

Not that slash as written by straight women isn't frequently fetishizing and low-key homophobic, but that's a whole different animal.

Yeah this. I've read a lot of online gay fiction, both sites that are female dominated (such as fanfiction-based hosts) and sites that are male dominated.

Both can be unrealistic, but the style is usually noticeably different. The male writers tend to emphasize different kinks and play up different acts of sex compared with the female writers.

But neither is inherently more realistic. (it is funny to see the different kinks though. just reading a fic, you can make a very educated guess if the writer is male or female)

Lol, right? Most porn written by guys you can tell right away because it specifically mentions dick sizes and perfect asses and buckets of semen and shit like that which is exactly as fucking unrealistic, only about different aspects of the sex. I have written slash for both mostly male readership and mostly female readership and it's not any more realistic in either one, it just focuses on different things. It's not any more "incorrect" to follow the general tropes of one genre you are writing in than another

And yea I have no problem with people talking about homophobia and fetishization where it applies, but assuming it does of every single fic and that women are just dumb or intentionally sexist is stupid as fuck

I was going to say the same thing! God, what's with the improbably sized dicks and the buckets of semen?

And the corny 'dirty talk', complete with CAPLOCKS and exclamation signs!!!!

I still remember noping the hell out of a story after the MC marveled at one partner's penis being "at least as big as my lower arm".

It was presented as being positive.

D:

Holy crap, yes. I find a lot of the porn/sex stuff written by men to be just...off-putting. They seem to focus on some of the grosser bits of sex, use really gross slang, and in general just make me want to hit the back button.

Not that women writers don't do the same, sometimes, but i've found that 9 out of 10 male writers just write really yucky sex scenes (for me), and women just...do it better. (I'm talking 'love' scenes to down and dirty pwp, for the record.)

OP & ayrt

I can see the appeal in both- and both can get filthy in different ways- but that's the thing, they're two completely different genres. Saying one is more realistic and better than the other is like saying sci fi is more realistic than fantasy which is irrelevant because both are fucking made up and it's stupid to seriously judge someone for liking one more than the other

"Realistic" is bullshit in either case

Yup. That's why i get so annoyed with people who agitate for big, long scenes in kink-fic about consent, and safe words, and blah blah blah. If that's *part of the kink*, sure, go for it. But if i ask you for 1000 words of dirtybadwrong spanking and orgasm denial, knock it off with the 'are you okay?' every two sentences and gimme some damn spankings! Or whatever.

Porn /= reality, and that's kinda the point.

ayrt

Lol, that's kind of funny if you think about it like the old joke. The masochist says spank me and the sadist says no

Heeeee!

Also, realistically if you're doing that kinda thing, you don't want your partner constantly saying "are you okay." That can ruin a scene, because while you're being spanked and dominated, you want to be spanked and dominated. If you wanted someone to be all caring and loving during sex, well, that's the kind of sex you'd be having!

"Are you okay" is for aftercare, and for if the safe word is used. I feel like people who write kink that way feel like they have to write it for some reason but don't actually understand it at all.

Exactly. It seems to me you set up your ideas/needs/boundaries *beforehand*, and then you go for it. Obviously, if there's an issue or something, that is what the safeword or whatever is for. But the continuous questioning *during* always made me think that a) the person writing wasn't sure of what they were writing and/or b) the 'dom' in the story was very, very, very inexperienced.

[ SECRET POST #2972 ]

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

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Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"

Re: "omg slash is so unrealistic"