fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2977 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2977 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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05.

[Paul Darrow]

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06.

[Dragon Age: Inquisition]

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(Bee and Puppycat)

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09.

[Joan Watson, Elementary]

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(Marvel's Agents of Shield)

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[One Piece]

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[Noah Emmerich, The Americans]

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14.

[Teen Wolf]

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15. [ WARNING for rape ]

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16. [ WARNING for dubcon? ]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #425.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I agree with this to some extent, especially for suicide. To put it as bluntly as possible, if you didn't care when there was still a chance to help, why do you care now that they're dead?

(The bit about Facebook walls reminds me of Welcome to Facebook. "You're using this girl's death to make yourself look like a more caring person? Wow. I can't believe how bad a person you are.")

To put it as bluntly as possible, if you didn't care when there was still a chance to help, why do you care now that they're dead?

Feo, you my dog, but this is bullshit

Well, with celebrities:

- because you didn't know they were suicidal and
- because no-one would let you near 'em even if you knew

Like, i just find this a rather odd statement. hell, it's hard enough to help someone close to you.

I was responding more to paragraph 2 than paragraph 1.

Sorry, I misunderstood then!

I've always felt that way about suicide. If the person needed help, it's not right for everyone who wasn't there for them in their time of need to be like "Omg, why? I'm so upset! I don't understand why they would do that."

I had a classmate who passed away and some of the people who bullied them acted like they were very upset over their death and said things like "X was such a good friend" and I'm just thinking "Bullshit. You're only trying to make yourself sound like a nice person, when in reality you probably contributed to X's death by treating them like garbage while they were alive."

I don't know. Not everyone is open about needing help or even about having problems. I don't think it makes sense to talk about what someone should have known or done, without being familiar with the circumstances.

No. You are wrong and you clearly have no idea what actual suicidal people are like.

Signed, a formerly suicidal person.

If the person needed help, it's not right for everyone who wasn't there for them in their time of need to be like "Omg, why? I'm so upset! I don't understand why they would do that."

Because of course everyone is both able to know when someone is suicidal AND able to provide help. No one else is dealing with their own issues and only just managing to keep themselves from coming apart at the seams.

Oh don't be fucking ridiculous. When I was social, I wasn't going around telling people about it. I was trying as hard as I could to put on a good face and keep that sir under wraps, because first of all, I didn't wanna burden anyone anymore than I already thought I was, and second of all, I didn't want anyone to know enough to be able to stop me. If I had succeeded, probably most people wouldn't have even known that I needed help. And that's the way it is for a LOT of suicidal people.

So you know what, fuck you, because you obviously have no clue what you're talking about and you're using people like me (or the people like me who didn't make it) to make a stupid, ignorant point. The person who doesn't actually care or understand is you.

SA

Damn phone. Suicidal, not social.

Holy shit. Do you think I have some kind of cause here? Some stupid movement to bowl people over with and act like I'm superior to them because they don't get it? I'm looking back at my post, and I can't see anything in it that goes enough against what you're saying to merit that kind of vehemence. You could read in some assumptions that would probably merit it, I guess, but I never intended to say anything that fucked up. (And if you're the same anon who responded to that other poster, great job on telling someone their personal experience has no basis in reality.)

Saying there's something wrong with people caring and being sad after someone they know commits suicide because they didn't care enough to help IS fucked up, and to get to that way of thinking, you have to make a whole bunch of assumptions about how suicidal people act. How can anybody help someone who hasn't said they need help and who's done everything they can to make it look like they don't? Should everyone just magically know somehow? Are people supposed to have some kind of "this person is suicidal" sense? And you're one o talk about invalidating experiences when you just said a bunch of people don't get to be sad when they lost someone because they didn't do enough to save them.

I didn't want to be saved and I tried to make sure no one could. It wasn't their fault, it wouldn't have been their fault of I died.

I have no idea what to say to this. Would "Sorry; I'll shut up now?" be enough? Any other response seems like it would be digging a bigger hole.

(And thank you for being so polite about it.)

And you're one o talk about invalidating experiences when you just said a bunch of people don't get to be sad when they lost someone because they didn't do enough to save them.

Hell yeah this.

NAYRT

but, at least on first reading, your post definitely looks like it's saying that if someone you know commits suicide, it's at least partly your fault for not helping them enough

in fact I'm not even sure what other reading of your post is even possible

and, I don't know, that does kind of seem like a really fucked up position to take

It's a pretty common one, though.

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