[ SECRET POST #2988 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2988 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 050 secrets from Secret Submission Post #427.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Transcript

[(Anonymous)]

Image: three faces depicting the BNFs being discussed

Text: There is this kind of dead fandom I'm into. It does have some fanfic pop up now and then, but the high point of activity has long passed.

One of the popular pairings for it had 3 Big Name Fans:

Sally, Molly and Jessie

Being into the same pairing, they naturally became friends. They made giftfics for each other, reviewed each other, spent time AIMing, you could tell they really got along.

Suddenly, Sally and Molly stopped mentioning Jessie in their author's notes. Jessie did likewise.

At the time, I did not give it much thought, but years later, upon finding Jessie's blog, I found out they had a terrible fallout.

Having kind of admired their fandom friendship, I was sad for them.

Digging deeper, I found out what was the catalyst for the fallout: Molly and Sally used Jessie's OC without her permission in their fics.

She was uncomfortable with this. They did not give a fuck and preferred to torch their friendship than stop and apologize. What The Fuck. (I no longer want a friendship like theirs.)


tl;dr: The fandom friendship I admired was bullshit.

Re: Transcript

[esteefee]

I find it interesting that people judge relationships from the outside or, when they are over, claim that they weren't what they appeared or whatever.

People do this with celebrity relationships (or with other people's marriages) all the time.

Yet only the people in the relationships can say whether or not the relationship was fulfilling for them at the time it existed. And just because a relationship ends does not mean it wasn't meaningful at the time.

Relationships do *not* have to last forever to be good or important.

Re: Transcript

[(Anonymous)]

> Relationships do *not* have to last forever to be good or important.

I don't know. if it ends in a way you don't want (which it frequently does) it can retroactively poison all the time you had together. Like "why did I put all that energy into someone who was just going to screw me."

I think if it were a good relationship, it wouldn't have ended. You end them BECAUSE they're bad.

Re: Transcript

[esteefee]

Frequently? There are so very many ways relationships end. You've never had a friendship drift apart? Or had your interests diverge (e.g., when my close friend got pregnant and suddenly fell into the pit of motherhood). Have you ever used a small disagreement as a pretext for just dropping out of communication?

My point is: people outside the relationship aren't in the position to judge whether the relationship was valid or not. OP called the fandom friendship "bullshit." Well, who is OP to say? We don't actually know why or how that friendship ended, or even if it really did. Only the people in the relationship can say whether they found it meaningful or good for them, even if it did eventually end.

This whole judging of relationships thing is just weird to me, is all I'm saying. I really don't know what goes on between people. Only they do.