[ SECRET POST #2988 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2988 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 050 secrets from Secret Submission Post #427.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Pronouns amoung assholes

[(Anonymous)]

Look, as long as you're at work it's fine. The gender pronoun game isn't mainstream and 'non-gender binary' is just going to be, I'm sorry to say, tumblr-speak to anyone who isn't internet/fandom savvy. Just call them by their born sex and don't sweat it.

Re: Pronouns amoung assholes

[(Anonymous)]

that's terrible advice! jfc, what is wrong with you?

op, for fucks sake do not listen to this asshole. it's good your trying to be better than most people and respecting your partner, but the best advice in this thread is to talk to your partner, not to disregard your partners choices.

Re: Pronouns amoung assholes

[(Anonymous)]

I'm an asshole because I'm suggesting a rational solution? So it's fair to the OP that their partner gets to dictate how strangers hear about them offhandedly? Even when it's going to make the OP's work environment difficult? Sorry, but the 'non-gender' schtick is not a mainstream thing. Most people don't even know what 'cis' is, let alone 'I'm no gender!'.

Re: Pronouns amoung assholes

[(Anonymous)]

Don't waste your time, Tumblr people live in a world of marshmallows mountains, rainbow rivers and ponies.

Re: Pronouns amoung assholes

[(Anonymous)]

I'd say they're the asshole, not you. The advice you gave was perfectly sensible.

Re: Pronouns amoung assholes

[raspberryrain]

Yeaaah, I'm going (mostly) to agree with you (and off anon).

OP:
I would suggest using the gender your partner mostly appears to present as. But considering how the pronoun game (cute phrase, I'm going to use it now) is used in some cases, just using their anatomical gender is probably how that shakes out for a vague androgyne, barring some unusual intersex/genderqueer presentation.

Or you could use he/him/his, which (however controversially) has a longstanding tradition in English of being used for a person of unspecified sex. Which your partner is in a...different way than that's traditionally meant, to you, but not to your co-workers. And they're already going with "he," apparently.

Now, if you say, "This is the love of my life, and using the right pronouns is more important that my work relationships or even my job!" then maybe you already have your answer. But in that case, you really need to talk to your partner and see if that's really what they want you to do, and if so, if that's what you're comfortable doing for them.

Re: Pronouns amoung assholes

[(Anonymous)]

It's really not. If OP were introducing them and using an incorrect pronoun, that would be wrong, but keeping it simple for simpleminded people in a setting that has no bearing on the other person is just plain smart.

Re: Pronouns amoung assholes

[(Anonymous)]

OP is already using the partner's preferred nouns in the partner's presence. They're talking specifically about how to deal with the issue when they're at work dealing with assholes and partner is not there. It's lovely to defer to one's partner in terms of pronoun preference, but OP is not obligated to educate her jerkwad co-workers about non-binary genders, especially when you can pretty much guarantee it will not fly.

It's work. Take the path of least resistance, OP.

Re: Pronouns amoung assholes

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, this is sound advice.