[ SECRET POST #3049 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3049 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.
















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 047 secrets from Secret Submission Post #436.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

lol no, sorry

[purpleseas]

Try doing five seconds of research before you choose your "childfree role model."

http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/01/john-oliver-last-week-tonight-facts

HE HAS lived and worked in the U.S. for more than eight years and is married to an American, but he hopes that when he has children they will speak like him. He has entertained thoughts of giving his children “whatever the opposite of elocution lessons are, a kind of reverse-Pygmalion process: ‘By George, I think she’s lost it!’”

I know it's nice when someone you admire is like you in some way, and I know how it is to feel alienated when that changes, but as you get older, you'll find that you don't need that kind of validation so much anymore. Your life is yours and theirs is theirs and there's no point in worrying about what everybody else is doing all the time. I'm 40 and have no energy for that shit anymore. Words cannot express how much I DON'T CARE.

Re: lol no, sorry

[(Anonymous)]

Your life is yours and theirs is theirs and there's no point in worrying about what everybody else is doing all the time. I'm 40 and have no energy for that shit anymore. Words cannot express how much I DON'T CARE.

Thhhhiiiiisssssssssssssss

I'm 50. This has been my philosophy since I was old enough to understand such things.

Re: lol no, sorry

[purpleseas]

It's the best way to go. If I'm asked my opinion, I'll definitely give it, but getting involved in other people's personal decisions and drama is right out. My intrusive and controlling grandmother was a great opposite role model for that.

Re: lol no, sorry

[(Anonymous)]

That's great for you. But it's really fucking hard when most sources are putting pressure on you to have kids, including your own family. It's great you don't give a fuck, but not everyone is you and some people need some goddamn support and to see themselves in someone who is prominent.

Re: lol no, sorry

[purpleseas]

I know it's hard. I've been through it. You will eventually stop giving a fuck and/or age out of your "childbearing years," and they'll give up on you. That's just the way they are. People who are pressuring you to have kids don't know how else to behave around you because they honestly care about you and don't understand that what makes them happy and fulfilled is not what would make you happy and fulfilled. They may also seriously worry about who will take care of you in the future, despite the fact that it's not the most reliable safety net ever. Or they regret having children themselves and need to drag someone else into their misery. They see you as having gotten away with something and want to see you brought to justice, lol. That's all it is. It'll pass a lot faster if you learn to blow it off and don't form an identity around it. Trolling them also helps sometimes.

Re: lol no, sorry

[(Anonymous)]

How does randomly picking someone who doesn't have children, just assuming they hold a childfree philosophy, and then getting upset when they don't live up to that at all fucking helpful in "getting support?"

Re: lol no, sorry

[sidewinder]

This.

Because it's also making an assumption that a person has chosen to be childfree - a perfect valid choice to make, yes - when maybe they are childless not by choice (*raises hand*) or just aren't in the place to make that decision/commitment yet.

Placing expectations on others and their reproductive choices is never a good thing. Do what you want, commit to what you want, and don't judge others or decide that someone has "betrayed" you if their choice eventually isn't what you would have chosen.

Re: lol no, sorry

[evewithanapple]

And that has what to do with John Oliver . . . ?

Re: lol no, sorry

[(Anonymous)]

It has to do with the "JUST STAND ON YOUR OWN! YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE!" bullshit.

Re: lol no, sorry

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, but John Oliver is kinda relevant to the discussion, because the reason people are like "lol what" is because he's not childfree. So if you need someone to look up to, it's stupid to choose him. And it's even more stupid to feel betrayed by him for not being something he never was.

Re: lol no, sorry

[lb_lee]

Heh. Check the trans or disabled community. We're pressured NOT to have kids! So you can probably find a lot of us without them.

--Rogan

Re: lol no, sorry

[(Anonymous)]

I'm disabled and I'm STILL fucking pressured to have kids, even though I don't want any.

Re: lol no, sorry

[lb_lee]

Wow, damn. That bites. My sympathies.

--Rogan