[ SECRET POST #3056 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3056 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #437.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: sorry sorry sorry

[(Anonymous)]

Not sure what you mean by "nuclear option"? It's not about sitting there stewing in your panic, if that's what you mean? It's not usually practiced at times of great anxiety or panic in the first place; you practice the habit in as calm and relaxed circumstances as you can, with the idea that with time (and for some people that's a lot of time, even if it works for them at all) you'll be able to apply the same tactic in situations where you're not.

It's not about enduring; enduring just keeps you embedded in the thoughts and feelings you want to just let drfit, the way thoughts usually do. It's about retraining the way we think so that the anxious or obtrusive thoughts we do have don't affect us as deeply. In your example it'd mean you look at that problem you need to deal with, maybe break it down into components or steps, and work through what you need to do for each one. During these steps, chances are a lot of negative or anxious thoughts and feelings will come into your head ("What am I even doing? Am I doing it right? Will it work out? Will it not working out mean I'm a failure?"). The point of mindfulness is that you don't recoil from those thoughts but you don't give them any extra attention either. You notice they're there, you acknowledge they're there, and you gently turn your attention back onto whatever you need to be doing instead of letting the thoughts snowball into panic. At a very basic level, it's grounding yourself so you don't let your thoughts run away with you.

By focusing on just experiencing here and now, on acknowledging any thought that comes to you without judging it or yourself, you're teaching your thought processes not to be as trigger-happy as they can be when you're anxious.

Re: sorry sorry sorry

[feotakahari]

I just meant that it sounds extreme. Like trying to deal with chronic pain by making it so that you have less of a response to pain in general, or trying to prevent sensory input overload by dulling your senses. I feel like if I stopped being so scared of failing, I'd let myself fail a lot more often, just like I'd keep staring at screens during headaches if I dulled my sense of pain.

Re: sorry sorry sorry

[(Anonymous)]

I genuinely don't know how you managed to get that out of anything I've said.

Re: sorry sorry sorry

[feotakahari]

Hey, if I don't get it, I don't get it. I was just trying to interpret what you meant by "reducing the impact every time you have anxious thoughts." (I'm apparently pretty terrible at interpreting things, given how often anons on FS have told me I completely misunderstood everything.)

Re: sorry sorry sorry

[tree_and_leaf]

It's not about stopping you feeling stuff; it's about stopping you being completely overwhelmed by negative emotions. Which, incidentally, would allow you to deal better with the problem that's causing the anxiety/ depression/ etc, because sitting there overwhelmed with anxiety or panic can be almost guaranteed to make whatever it is you're dealing with worse....

Re: sorry sorry sorry

[(Anonymous)]

So with the headache thing, if you have a really bad headache, do you never take anything for it? If you broke your leg, would you insist on not having it in a cast because that would make you, I don't know, try to walk on it sooner? I don't even understand your thought process here.

But look, mindfulness is about this, pure and simple: learning to let go of intrusive thoughts so you're not obsessing over them. It's fine to feel anxious, angry, sad, yadda yadda, and the point isn't to make yourself stop feeling all of it. The point is to make it so that, when you have a negative emotion, it doesn't take you over to the point where you can't function. Like, it sounds like you're arguing that it's actually BETTER to not be able to function, because otherwise you'll, I dunno, keep touching the stove or some shit, and that just doesn't make sense.

Re: sorry sorry sorry

[tree_and_leaf]

Exactly! It's definitely not about trying to achieve Kholinar /gratuitous Star Trek reference.

Re: sorry sorry sorry

[feotakahari]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding what's meant by anxiety. If you only mean that this mindfulness thing kicks in during full-blown panic attacks, then I'm not going to really 100% understand because I don't have those. I thought you meant that it lessens "anxiety" in general. (To continue the painkiller metaphor, I'd take painkillers if I broke my leg, but not if I stubbed my toe.)

Re: sorry sorry sorry

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

This is just my own personal experience, one of the many features of my anxiety is constantly turning anthills into mountains. To take your stubbing your toe analogy, I stub my toe, my brain thinks my whole foot is broken.

What mindfulness training does is help teach a person how to scale that exaggeration back down into the realm of reality. My whole foot isn't broken. My toe isn't even broken. Does it hurt like a son-of-a-gun? Heck yes. But there is no permanent damage, no matter what my irrational thought process is trying to tell me right now. I may have a bruise. I might have broken a nail. I did NOT break my foot.

Hope that helps explain things a little more. :)

Re: sorry sorry sorry

[feotakahari]

Fair enough. Sorry for all the pestering.

Re: sorry sorry sorry

[(Anonymous)]

DA

It's not that you're pestering, it's that you're wholly disregarding all the good explanations you've been getting because the uninformed assumptions you have in your head are apparently more valid to you than the experiences and knowledge of the people who actually know what they're talking about.