fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #393 ]

[ SECRET POST #393 ]

⌈ Secret Post #393 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 18 pages, 450 secrets from Secret Submission Post #057.
Secrets Not Posted: 0 broken links, [ 1 2 3 ] not!secrets, [ 1 2 ] not!fandom, [ 1 2 ] too big, [ 1 ] personal attack, [ 1 2 ] wtf?
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Sunday, February 3rd, 2008.
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I'll admit, at first I felt a little bad for her, because she's probably just a kid, and everybody sort of hates her. But then I started actually paying attention to the way she acted in the comm, and to anyone that dared share a different opinion, or who called her out on anything she did. And now I'm sort of sjfksfdfjdsfj. But I've gotta admit that I agree with everyone else who's posted; despite what some secret makers say, the fandom is way too nice and supportive and all around AWESOME to let one preteen ruin it for you! Cheer up, dear!

I felt the same way originally, since she seems so young and everyone hates her. But then she grew this elitist attitude a mile long, ignored everyone's complaints about her spamming up the comm.

I don't dislike her for being a generic yaoi fanbrat (really, I like yaoi, but if it's all you can think about it's a bit wtf), it's because she's either being willfully ignorant of people's opinion of her, or whether she really doesn't see it, which seems unlikely given the comments she has received (only to delete them herself |D;)

I am SO SORRY> I'm not JUST a kid. I'm seriously sick in the head. I DID NOT know that my mental idiocy could do this. I SERIOUSLY regret all that I did. I am VERY SORRY to everone here. Oh God I can't believe this...

Eek, sorry for butting in. Don't you think saying you're sick in the head is a bit too... harsh for yourself? Maybe you just needed people to tell you what you needed to keep in moderation, and this probably wasn't the OHWOWBESTWAY, but at least now you know what you can work on. (:

it isn't harsh for myself. I am sick in the head. seriously. I have PAPERS saying that I have autisms. I do need people to keep me in moderation.

talk to me, please. my MSN is tuffyaoigrrl@hotmail.com. I'm just an idiot, ok?

U-uh... I don't know much about autism, so I have no idea what to say about that..? I'm sure you can try not to get on people's nerves so much, though..?

And, I'm sorry. I don't have msn. (:

AIM is phantomthief434
gmail is tuffyaoigrrl@gmail.com

Autism is basically a disability. mine is common sense and social wisdom.
anyways. I never know when I'm getting on people's nerves. I need people to tell me.

I'm really sorry.

Okay, look. I don't know you. I don't know what you've done in this fandom.

But blaming Autism for your behavior? Is really not on. I don't have it myself, but I used to go to a small private school where it was harder to find a kid without Asperger's than with.

And you know what? They embraced the fact that they couldn't pick up on the same social cues as everyone else. And they worked extra hard and were extra careful to make up for that fact. But most of all, when called on inappropriate behavior, they did not resort to using Asperger's as an end-all be-all excuse for their behavior.

Also, this is the internet. You are not the only person lacking in "common sense and social wisdom."

Edited 2008-02-03 03:03 (UTC)

i'm really sorry. I just need someone to take the time to talk to me and help me out. I'm not the one to embrace the fact about asperger. Where my parents came form, autism isn't something to be proud of.

I know I should be blaming myself with this, but I just don't know what to do. you could say I'm...scared?

See, that's the thing. It's not something to be ashamed of, or something to proud of. It just is.

As for what to do, I agree with what other people are saying. Take a step back. Examine your behavior. Could it be that you're sending different messages than you intended? Remember, other people aren't in your head. They don't know how you reached your conclusions, or necessarily want to hear everything about your daily life. Use basic social courtesies. Say please and thank you. Ask for help if you're confused. Don't demand things from fandom-- ask politely and recognize that your request might not be answered. Don't talk so much that other people aren't able to get a word in edgewise.

Also, do not, DO NOT, refer to Asperger's as making you "sick in the head." That is offensive and downright inaccurate. Your brain functions differently than other peoples'. However, when you accept this, you can also find that this different set of functions gives you certain advantages, as well.

Okay, LJ messenger isn't working for me right now, so I'm replying to you here.

Unfortunately, I don't have the time or the desire to be your personal therapist. HOWEVER, you'll note that people don't want to hate you-- in fact, many of them seem to be willing to give you a second chance if you settle down and start to modify your behavior (THIS IS IMPORTANT).

If you truly are sorry, try to stop making excuses (I see you blamed your sister in another thread!). Ultimately, all responsibility for your behavior lies with you. Only you can change it, and only you can give yourself the motivation to do so.

Ok. I will be careful from now on, but people are already thinking badly of me, so what can I do if they just won't pay attention to me?

If you really show signs of changing, I don't think they'll ignore you. It might take a while for people to take you seriously. But you know, fandom is just like real life. You have to start from the ground up when gaining respect from people. Contribute to the fandom, and not in a "I'll only give things to you if you give me something first" kind of way. Of course, there's something to be said about contributing in moderation, so that people don't get sick of your posts before even reading the content.

Everyone likes attention! But if you're just in the fandom to get attention rather than to share the love of the series and its characters with fellow fans, well. :/ That's not going to win you any points.

I try to share my love ofr the series, but people just think my fanfics are too weird.

I seriously regret everything I did and I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me.

And thank you. for some weird reason, your very mature talk is helping me. I will try my best.

Re: 64

chibimazoku.livejournal.com - 2008-02-03 04:10 (UTC) - Expand

Re: 64

ruffwriter.livejournal.com - 2008-02-03 04:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: 64

chibimazoku.livejournal.com - 2008-02-04 19:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: 64

ruffwriter.livejournal.com - 2008-02-04 19:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: 64

chibimazoku.livejournal.com - 2008-02-04 20:10 (UTC) - Expand

Okay. As a member of the comm--first off, I'm on dialup and I can't load this post. So if all of this has been said to you already, it's probably been said better than I can. Listen to those people.

But in any case, as a member of the fandom in question and someone who's followed your posts, I'll give you advice. You're looking for advice, so here it is.

1. No one cares about your autism. Really. I'm not telling you to try and hide a part of who you are, but I am telling you that in this context, it will not win you any sympathy. At best it'll make people roll their eyes, and at worst it'll make them think you're a troll. When you make a mistake, move on. Own up to it, leave it behind you, and try not to make it again. That's the only way for everyone. We've all had to do it. Don't beat yourself up, make passive-aggressive comments seeking attention for it, or blame anyone else. Just don't do it again.

2. Along those lines, deleting posts and comments that people disagree with is not the way to be taken seriously. Don't try to pretend your mistakes never happened. Deleting something for a typo is one thing. Deleting comments and posts, both of your own and of others, is another thing entirely and makes it look like you're covering your tracks. People are going to remember if something like that happens ANYWAY. Word's gonna get out. Having deleted the evidence does nothing but make you look like a troll.

3. You might want to brush up on your grammar and punctuation. Take care with how you come across. You don't need to be perfect. No one is! But you do need to be literate.

4. Fandom is give and take. Reborn fandom is very giving! I should know, because I'm essentially talentless and so I do a lot of taking myself. But I don't demand anything of the fandom. Or sure, jokingly I say GIVE ME MOAR ARCOBALENO PORNZ but. It's a joke! If you want something from fandom, you need to either wait for an opportunity or offer something of equal value. As others pointed out in a deleted post of yours, holding altered MP3s hostage for fic and art (which takes a lot of effort) is going to make you look greedy (she said, using this icon, lol).

5. Along those lines, if you post on a certain topic and you don't get much interest, well . . . sometimes it's your bad luck, and another post may be in order when you have more to offer. Other times it's because there is low interest. Posting with the same offers half a dozen times when people were not terribly interested the first time is going to irritate them. They saw the offer and passed on it the first two times, they're not going to want to scroll by it five more.

6. But you know what? All of that said? Make yourself happy. That's the most important thing. It's FANDOM. It doesn't matter much in the scheme of things. Make what you want to make, write what you want to write, ask for what you want to ask for. Do try to be polite about it, but in the end, fandom is something we enjoy. We want you to enjoy it too! Change exactly as much of your behavior as you want to change. But see #1: be prepared to reap what you sow. If you're not getting along with people, you have a choice to make between their approval and your behavior. And fandom is more fun when people like you, yes! You should be courteous to them and do your best to understand where they're coming from. But in the end, don't take things so seriously. Move on, change what you want to change, and have fun with it, please. That's the point of everything we do here on LJ.

Woooord.

Thank you. although the things you said were a bit harsh when I already feel like shit for what I've done. I've got say that I understand what you mean and I want you to know i'm rerally sorry for everything. So tell anyone you know, that I will be writing more fanfiction and i'll continue posting. I'll try my best to reread my stuff and think before mypost. but thank you for taking the time to tell me. I shall follow your advice.

But I am literate (enough), though. What made you think I wasn't? you obviously haven't seen my fiction, I use spellcheck. Maybe you just think i'm not because someone else told you that I wasn't?

You said you wanted advice. I was actually trying to be rather diplomatic there. XD This is an example of what I mean. When you come into public and tell people that you have Asperger's and you need to be told what's annoying and what's not, they're not going to beat around the bush. It's not disrespect for someone who has a disorder; it's the fact that by your own admission you don't understand social cues, so it wouldn't be very responsible of me to word this in a way that could be misinterpreted. Do you see? You reap what you sow. Telling people that you need to be told why you're annoying because you medically cannot understand it is going to result in slightly harsher, er, criticism.

No, I-I've been reading your LJ comments. Again it's not necessary to make every sentence perfect, but when they're full of typos, fragments, missing capital letters, and the like, that does reflect on you. If you're perfectly capable of typing without errors, you should take the time to do so.

...yeah it's kinda dumb to talk about my medical problems. nvm what I said. ^^

Oh the comments! I thought you were talking about my fictions. Well yeah, of course my comments aren't literate. you see, I don't feel the need for perfect typing unless you're writing a fnafiction, know what I mean? It's just my opinion, though. >> <<

Re: 64

rinkhals.livejournal.com - 2008-02-03 05:41 (UTC) - Expand

Lemme guess, Asperger's.

yeah.

do you have any emails I can get to you in?

I'm a different anon. Just making an observation. Don't mind me.

I'm really sorry. I have been such an idiot in this comm. and it only took me until now to realize it. I never should have done the things I did and I just really need help. I want someone to take the time to talk to me and tell me what i'm doing wrong.

Well, you've been pretty much getting a lot of flak all evening, so I'm not going to metaphorically smack you through the computer or anything. But there are things that have to be reiterated.

Firstly: the RP fiasco. Taking anything and copying it word for word, or even just changing 'a few things,' is a no-no. If you ask the original creator for permission and it's given, go for it. But plagiarizing anything, even something as small as the rules for an RP, is wrong. And going so far as to delete comments that disagreed with your viewpoint was bad form. Deleting any comments just because you don't agree with them isn't viewed upon kindly on lj. Just for future reference. But you've already apologized for that.

But you're also a bit elitest about things. A friend of mine mentioned something about you claiming you were a 'peacemaker' of sorts. Now, the thing about the internet is that, even if you mean those things in jest, unless you state that and make it obviously clear, some people will always take it the wrong way. Especially if you're being elitist - if people don't put up with elitisms from BNFs who have actually made a large, positive impact on any particular fandom, it's even worse for someone relatively new to a fandom to act like they're anything special in a fandom. Because we're all equal here, and being nice to each other and treating each other as best we can is the only way we'll be able to keep Reborn! as wankfree as it is right now. But if people like you start 'stirring things up,' even if it's not on purpose, people will jump all over you.

And the thing about your OOC fanfiction, etc. Now, I've never read anything you've written - I tend to stay within the realms of GokuTsuna, ColoLal, and a few others myself - but this is the thing: you do have the right to whatever the hell you want. But people also have the right to dislike it and make fun of it. The issue here is with the subject of your fiction. Very few people like OOC. Plenty of people like crack. But crack does not have to be OOC. If you want to crossdress Tsuna and co., you can do it, and it can be done well. Hell, I've written crossdressing fic before. The point here, though, is that if you want anyone to like what you write, everything has to have motivation. Why are they crossdressing? Is it some event that Reborn organized, ala the Halloween chapter? Is it something like a school play or a job? If that's the case, you also need to justify the characters. Yamamoto might crossdress if he thinks it's part of the mafia game. Tsuna might, if Reborn makes him. Gokudera might, if Tsuna does. Chrome probably wouldn't have a problem dressing up. But if you put Hibari or Mukuro or even Ryohei in dresses, you need a reason. Of course, you have every right to write it without a reason, but people will dislike it. It's their right. The thing about fanfiction, if you want people to like it, is to make it believable. Crack is excellent, but even crack needs a motivation. Crack!fic can be fun, but most of the fun of writing a crack fanfiction is trying to figure out why they're doing the things they're doing. Why are Mukuro and company dancing the macarena? Why is Tsuna skydiving off an airplane? There are a thousand odd ideas that can be written, but if you want people to enjoy the fic, they need to have a reason. Things need to go in a logical progression. Otherwise, you might like what you write, but other people probably will not.

And the thing about yaoi. I like yaoi *points up at GokuTsuna*. A ton of my favorite pairings are boy/boy. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. There's also nothing wrong with only liking boy/boy. Again, it's your right. But when yaoi is the only thing you talk about, people WILL get annoyed. Because there are also plenty of other people who like het, or yuri, or all of them, and when you talk only about any yaoi, all the time, people will get annoyed. Just like they would get annoyed if you only talked about yuri, or if you only talked about het, or if you only talked about gen. Talking all the time about one single thing is, frankly, irritating. So just cool down on the spazziness. There's a term for people who are like that, but it's impolite and rude, so I won't use it.

Anyway. That's about all the advice I can give you. Along with: lay low for a bit. This will pass, probably, and people will forget about it, or at least not feel the sting of it anymore. Otherwise, just try to be nice, but don't be aggressive about it, and pipe down on the elitism. But I will really, really recommend the bit about fanfiction. I'm a writer, and while I don't think I'm very good at it, I do love reading well written fics, and while this fandom already has some very talented artists/authors/etc., it'd always be nice to have more. Just keep on trying, and please do your best to listen to criticism. If people dislike your fics, it's because they have a reason, and in most cases, they're valid reasons. Criticism hurts, but it's very, very valuable. Good luck.

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