fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3149 ]

[ SECRET POST #3149 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3149 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 071 secrets from Secret Submission Post #450.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I presumed they were talking more about frequency. As in, I don't want much sex, but my partner wants it three times a day.

That's my guess as to what they might mean, anyway.

And what part of this couldn't be solved through talking about it?

Sometimes that can be solved by talking about it, but sometimes it can't. Low libido is sometimes caused by external factors or health issues, and some people are okay with having sex when they don't want it. But some people have a low libido simply because that's the way they're wired, and some people feel awful when they have sex that they don't want.

Generally speaking, a relationship in which there is a libido mismatch (and we're talking extremes, here, not, like, person A wants it 5 times a week and person B only wants it 3 times a week. We're talking person A wants it 5 times a week and person B only wants it 2 or 3 times a month) is going to have more problems than one in which libidos are well-matched. And this is, of course, assuming monogamy.

Some people don't know what their libido will be until they've had sex, too.

Maybe sex turns out to not be as amazing as everyone says it is, and it plummets.

Maybe it turns out to be amazeballsholyshit so much better than they expected and their libido goes soaring.

Maybe the person masturbates all the time but when it comes to sex with a partner they can't be assed.

Maybe the person never masturbates and assumes they have little interest but holy shit sex with a partner is different!

Very true, those are great points!

All of which are good reasons to have sex before you get married to someone so that you can find these things out.

LOLOLOLOLOL

Do you know how many guys claim they are fucking sex machines because that's what society expects and then it turns out they've got the libido of a wet breadstick?

It's always surprising to me how anybody can believe something like that.

Like, legitimately, it just doesn't make sense to me. Until you have evidence that something is true about yourself, shouldn't you adopt an agnostic point of view? How do you live for any length of time at all, and not come to understand the way that the experience of actually doing a thing can be dramatically different from the way it looks from outside? What kind of benefit is there to thinking this way? It's so strange to me.

Someone just started on their philosophy degree it seems.

I don't need to have evidence to know something is true about myself (???) to have both experience in understanding others points of view and experience in the subject I'm speaking upon. Meaning I know for a fact that society expects men to be very sexually active ( this isn't even up debate) and I know for a fact that men will lie about their sexual experience and level of desire because they are embarrassed to not be "normal."

Er, sorry, I'm not sure whether you're criticizing me for being too wordy (in which case fair enough - it's what I do when I'm not thinking about my posts) or whether you think that I'm criticizing you. If it's the second thing, I should clarify that I was wondering about why the men you were talking about do the thing you were talking about, not why you were expressing an opinion about them. I agree with you that men do this thing, it's just never made sense to me why they do it. Sorry if I didn't make that clear!

and, I mean, I get that on some level it's psychological and societal-expectations, but it just seems so obviously fallacious and self-defeating. And if it's a conscious lie, it's just so obviously going to be proved wrong that it just seems pointless.

Okay, yeah, I get you now. I was misunderstanding your previous post.

Some people believe a lot of things about themselves that are not true, including that they would enjoy having sex very often.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #3149 ]

Re: Sexual compatibilty

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