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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2015-09-13 03:27 pm

[ SECRET POST #3175 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3175 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 070 secrets from Secret Submission Post #454.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:21 pm (UTC)(link)
You're getting really angry and cursing at me over a simple question, gee. I don't think you have grounds to accuse anyone of over-sensitivity.

Muslims not eating pork or non-halal meat is usually not because they personally judge that eating pork or non-halal meat is bad, it's because it's their religion's law. There's a difference between an outside party giving you restrictions you agree to follow, and you determining that something is bad by yourself and something you should not do.

There's also a difference between "I don't like or enjoy swearing" and "I don't swear at all".

I meant, is there a reason like a religion that forbids swearing or some other thing that isn't personally determined by judging that swearing is a bad thing?

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Dude, you're saying that the act of choosing not to say certain words is sanctimonious. That's ridiculous.

Some people were raised in households where it was drilled into them not to swear and they almost never swear.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
No. That's not what I'm saying.

I was raised in a household where it was drilled into me that swearing was bad myself. I usually do not swear. I have nothing against swearing. The last time I said a profanity out loud was probably years ago. I wouldn't, however, declare "I don't swear" as though I have something against swearing or that I would not do it even given reason to. I wouldn't say that "I don't swear" applies to me, either.

When people say "people who don't swear," they don't mean people like me.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:32 pm (UTC)(link)
So if someone asks you and you say you don't swear or don't swear in general than suddenly you're being sanctimonious?

There's a difference between saying it and bragging about it. Those two are different things. I was talking about people who choose not to swear in general. They use softer alternatives/expressions and I can tell they don't swear. They're not sanctimonious. It's just the way they are.

Sorry I just think you're being ridiculously assuming here.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I have trouble imagining a situation in which someone would ask about that, is all.

But... okay, you were talking about people who choose not to swear. Why would someone choose not to swear, when swear words have a purpose and function in language? Doesn't there have to be some kind of judgment of those words going on to prompt that active choice?

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
By a lot of people swear words are considered 'rude speech' and well people who see them as rude avoid them. Sure they have some purpose but you're kind of exaggerating how "important" swear words are.

Honestly some people just don't like using those words. And yeah maybe they think they're rude. Does it really hurt anything?

Why the hell does it matter so much to you that everyone use swear words? You're honestly being pretty ridiculous here.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not the OP. You're assuming a lot about my feelings on this when I haven't given any.

All I asked was if someone could give me nonsanctimonious reasons and I haven't gotten any yet. Even thinking those words are rude and not wanting to be a "rude person" who uses those words is kind of judgey on their part, isn't it?

But like, I'm literally never going to go up to someone and be like "wow u sanctimonious" about their swearing habits because I'm never going to ask anyone about them because it's not a big deal. I think you're making this out to be a lot more important to me than it is.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Well what I've been saying is that choosing not to use words isn't 'sanctimonious"

Sorry it isn't. Being raised that way and just not wanting to? Not sanctimonious. Not believing in using them That's not sanctimonious.

There is a difference between not liking words. and judging PEOPLE. Words are not people. They're words.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, yes, you're correct, you did give me the religious reason. I would say that's not sanctimonious. With the raised in the household example as well. That's also following an outside system's rules, so not personally judgmental. I would say both of those are not sanctimonious. Thank you.

"Not believing in using them" I would immediately question why, and what the speaker believes about those words-- bad? why?-- and the people who do use them-- are they now people who use bad words? does this make them rude? would you be rude if you said them? do you judge yourself and others the same way, and why would it make you rude but not them?-- and so on.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
It is possible to not like/use a word but not judge others. That is a thing people are capable of doing. I have several words I don't use because I don't like them, I don't like the way they sound or I have a negative experience connected with them. I just don't like them.

But I don't judge someone else for using them.

See? It's possible.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Several select words is a far call from "all swear words as a blanket whole" though.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Well its a similar principle. Someone could choose not to use swear words but not judge people who do who think they're rude/bad people for it.

I have good friends who are like that. They won't use swear words but they won't mind that the rest of our friend group tends to use them, and they don't seem to like us any less for it. It's their personal choice.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I would wonder why they made that choice, then, or what their reasoning for it is. I'm not going to disrespect their choice, go inquire about it, or try to force them to swear because it honestly doesn't matter to me as much as you seem to think it does, but I wouldn't automatically assume it's non-sanctimonious.

Before you get offended, I'll add it's certainly minor enough trait to shrug off, especially for a friend.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 10:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Let me show you something.

"sanc·ti·mo·ni·ous
ˌsaNG(k)təˈmōnēəs/Submit
adjectivederogatory
making a show of being morally superior to other people."

Part of the definition of sanctimonius is that they're making a SHOW of it. That they're rubbing it in other's faces and bragging about it.

If you have to inquire about someone's choice not to use swearwords than by definition it is not sanctimonious.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Ye-es. And in general, if I'm inquiring about it, that means I noticed, which means there was likely a show of some kind. I wouldn't go inquire to your friends because I have no idea who they are, but someone would have to do quite a bit to make me notice the fact that they actively censor themselves from swearing at all times. I say this as someone who rarely, rarely swears-- it's not that noticeable and certainly not to the "at all" extent.

Censoring themselves in a professional setting and such is obviously different, that's the outside rules again.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-13 22:40 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-13 22:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) - 2015-09-14 08:01 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't swear at all. Not because it's my religion (I'm atheist) or because I had strict parents (I didn't). It's just not part of my lexicon. I express myself just fine without using swear words. Like, I'm good. They don't serve a purpose for me. So no, I don't swear, and I'm okay with that, though I can't understand why it bothers you so much.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Would you swear if given reason to, though? When people declare that they don't swear, they usually mean that they wouldn't even if given reason, because swearing is a bad thing to do. IME anyway.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:37 pm (UTC)(link)
This. I just never developed the habit. I almost wish I had, because on the rare occasion that I do swear, people do act judgy or shocked, because apparently it's only okay to swear if you do it all the time, and if you don't swear often then you're just trying to be phony edgy whenever you do.

Re: Dumb stuff you're judgy over

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I've had to deal with people acting like that, too. They don't think I'm trying to be phony edgy or anything like that, but I'm usually so quiet and soft-spoken as it is, and rarely ever swear in public, so when an opportunity does call for it, everyone's suddenly like, "Whoa..." and looking at me all surprised.

I feel more comfortable writing/typing out swear words than I do saying them, for some reason. Even then, though, I still only use them when absolutely necessary. I'm not making every other word a cuss word or anything like that. I have no issue with swearing in and of itself, I don't personally find cuss words offensive or anything like that.

But I do think they're meant to be an expression of particularly intense emotion regarding a situation, and the more you say them, the less intense they sound, and it kind of dilutes the power of the message you want to convey.

Unless that's your intention, of course, in which case, go for it.

DA

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG It's almost like not everyone swears! So what if they don't swear at all?

And there are quite a few religions that advise you not to use certain words.

Re: DA

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:30 pm (UTC)(link)
If they don't swear at all, go for it. I don't swear all that often myself. I'm not sure how anyone would know or notice this unless I went and told them "I don't swear" though.

I'm interested in the religion thing. Which ones and which words?

Re: DA

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay first? I don't get why you have this opinion that people should never admit or say they don't swear. sounds stupid really.

Usually things relating to God or Jesus in the case of Christianity. Just usually a respect thing. Also not using "rude' words in general is considered something to strive for.

Even without religion a lot of swearwords are generally considered rude speech socially.

Re: DA

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know why you think I have this opinion "people should never admit or say they don't swear", I never actually said I did. More accurate would have been, "I have a hard time imagining a situation in which someone would inquire about your swearing habits" so I would be skeptical of people's motives in informing others of their non-swearing stance.

Are God and Jesus considered swear words? I know some parts of Judaism (?) don't say "God" but I thought that was a respect thing.

Re: DA

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I dunno, I've had people comment on it, tease people about it, directly ask them. I mean it doesn't come up often but it could happen.

I mean sure there's a WAY people can be sanctimonious about it but I don't think that's always the case.

Re: DA

(Anonymous) 2015-09-13 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I think it's the wording? Someone asks if you want coffee and you say "oh, I don't drink coffee" everyone asks why because it could be a loaded statement since coffee is perceived-- like swearing-- to be a pretty harmless thing, why would someone take an active stance against it? If you say "I don't like coffee" or "I'm not in the habit of drinking coffee, could I get tea instead" people tend to roll with it. IME anyway.