fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #410 ]

⌈ Secret Post #410 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 10 pages, 226 secrets from Secret Submission Post #059.
Secrets Not Posted: 0 broken links, 0 not!secrets, 0 not!fandom, [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ] too big, [ 1 ] posted twice, [ 1 2 ] repeat.
Next Secret Post: Tomorrow, Wednesday, February 20th, 2008.
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, man, I wasn't expecting anyone else to get sucked into our nonsense! XD But welcome!

The Tifa/Zack was also a bit tacked on, yes, but I could see Tifa and Zack as having actual chemistry if one were to stick them in a room together. Tifa/Zack is also not a hugely popular fan pairing, so it didn't feel like the author was "selling out", so to speak, when it showed up in the fic. Tifa/Zack also has the automatic advantage of containing Zack, who tends to make all things more bearable, if not more interesting.

I do kind of feel LHR needed the side pairings and side plots and such, because otherwise Cloud's wangsty hole of despair would've gotten terribly monotonous. And it set the stage for a lot of character and world-building that I, personally, found fascinating. I like me some good worldbuilding, and the FFVII world is full of opportunities to do so.

I have never played KH! I probably never will, either, but I'd never actually thought to look at it in the context of a giant Disney/FF crossover AU- which it totally is, now that I think about it! And that's actually pretty cool, and kind of makes me want to play it so I can write long and pretentious critical essays comparing the original characters to their KH incarnations. (My English major is showing. *shifty eyes*)

I'm (to my great shame, at times) a huge fan of woobified Sephiroth, but that's because I really like my fic and my pairings to be happy. I'm not actually all that big a fan of misery porn (which is why it's funny that "A Long, Hard Road" is one of my favorite stories fandom has produced, because the whole thing is this huge wankfest of schadenfreude and it's Sephiroth/Cloud, which I tend to dislike). But hey, to each their own! I can see the evidence for Sephiroth being psycho or being a woobie, but I don't trust very many writers to manage the latter convincingly.

(Augh, the healing cock! It's just- what, does their semen contain Neosporin or something? LHR had a little bit of healing cock in it, and those were the sex scenes that made me cringe. I honestly found the scene where Cloud was a literal weeping uke (so to speak) to be more in character and less cringe-worthy than the scene where the sex is actually happy.)

my hair is announcing a new challenger!

...or something. By all means, welcome to our silliness.

I defended the Yuffietine for the argument's sake - it really does upset me as a pairing because I don't see them as ever having any sort of chemistry whatsoever, whereas I can see Zack/Tifa working when the opportunity presented itself. Yes, that opportunity itself was tacked on in the fic, but I don't mind that as much.

Yuffietine didn't bother me quite as much in LHR as it tends to because Yuffie had grown up, to a degree, and was a more mature individual. (In my head; however, Vincent goes back to being a Turk and gets in on the Turk orgy. Or lives alone somewhere.)

Although it was emotionally painful the first time I read it, on retrospect the first time Cloud and Seph have sex in LHR is my favorite, because of how in character I felt their reactions were. everything after that was a bit hollow.

I like human Sephiroth, and a stronger Cloud then I tend to see, but that's another discussion.

And semen actually does have slight medicinal properties. Burns, mostly. It's like aloe vera.

...aloe vera? It's not like it's coming out of Seymour Guado's hair, woman! It comes from a cock!

Otherwise, I have nothing more to respond to! I am completely in agreement (except about the Yuffentine, because I still view it as a sell-out), except about the aloe vera bit, but that's not something to be argued about.

It would seem this round goes to you (and your hair). But I'll get you next time!

You cannot bring Seymour Guado's hair into this argument. Discussion. What have you. That's like some sort of crazy Godwin's Law.

Don't argue with me when I'm right and you're wrong.

I am not fond of the Yuffentine, but can kind of - actually, that's a lie. He should be a part of the Turk orgy or live by himself somewhere. With his guilt. His burning, searing guilt. (Which, if it is rather like a burn, could be cured with a application of semen!)

We shall have to agree to...agree. Well played.

Don't argue with me when I'm right and you're wrong. Bitch.

You brought up spurious claims that semen is like aloe vera. I brought up Seymour's hair in response to the mention of aloe vera. IT'S A PERFECTLY LOGICAL CONNECTION. If I then went on to compare Seymour to Hitler to further discredit your aloe vera theory, then you could cry Godwin's law. But since I didn't, you can't. Nyah.

But, if one were going to apply semen to Vincent's burning, searing guilt, one might read that as an endorsement for Cid/Vincent. So, fine. You can have semen with anti-burn properties. But if I burn myself, I'll take the neosporin or the aloe vera over the semen, thanks.

THAT'S IT. I declare that we solve this through time honoured dueling traditions and play...a children's card game!

Or not. I'm not going to continue to argue with you. I can't possible imagine lowering myself to that level when I am so clearly RIGHT and you are so clearly WRONG.

Nothing justifies Cid/Vincent. It's even more inexplicable than Yuffentine. Well, maybe. BUT STILL.

[ SECRET POST #410 ]

My tl;dr, it is everywhere.

drowning in a sea of tl;dr

K.O.!

ZOMBIE REVIVAL

WHAT, YOU'RE STILL HERE? GOD, GET A LIFE.

Re: WHAT, YOU'RE STILL HERE? GOD, GET A LIFE.