[ SECRET POST #3264 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3264 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Folgers Coffee Commercial]


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03.


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04.


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05.


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06.


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07.


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08. http://i.imgur.com/DKoxG0z.jpg
[linked for porn; anime character + random dick]


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09. [SPOILERS for London Spy]



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10. [SPOILERS for Fargo]



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11. [SPOILERS for Borderlands 2]



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12. [WARNING for rape]



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13. [WARNING for incest]



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14. [WARNING for suicide]



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15. [WARNING for abuse]




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16. [WARNING for rape]



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17. [WARNING for rape]
http://i.imgur.com/nxf1nRw.jpg
[nudity, porn star James Deen]



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18. [WARNING for rape]

[The Tempest]


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19. [WARNING for noncon/rape]

[Hannibal]
















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #466.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

09. [SPOILERS for London Spy]
http://i.imgur.com/E5dk4vy.png

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know how old you are, OP, but there are a lot of people who don't come across someone they want truly 'couple' with until their 30s or even later.

[(Anonymous)]

Those first lines don't make sense to me, but maybe I'm being naive. Do people really start new relationships with a conversation about how many relationships they have or haven't been in before?

Like, "Hi I'm Susan and I've had five boyfriends." "Hi Susan, I'm Dave, I've had one girlfriend."??

[(Anonymous)]

IIRC, the lines at the top of the secret isn't a conversation, it's an internal monologue.

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry, I wasn't clear, I understood that it was internal thoughts, but I wasn't sure how they made sense. They're internally angsting about having to explain to someone that they don't have relationship experience? Is this a thing that becomes a conversation piece when you're in/getting into a relationship?

[(Anonymous)]

It's not a requirement to discuss it, no, but I think it's normal for people to have these angsty thoughts in the privacy of their minds, sometimes. If you feel self-conscious about something, it's not that weird to worry if it will be an issue for other people, too, even if rationally you know it probably won't.

[(Anonymous)]

In the show, the characters had been on a few dates, then they attempted to have sex, and it's implied that it did not go well because the inexperienced character was too tense. The quoted conversation takes place afterwards.

I wouldn't expect this to be a big deal for many younger people, but once you reach a certain age, a total lack of experience with both sex and relationships can be kind of an issue. The sort of cluelessness that's charming or at least expected when you're a teenager is not something a lot of people want to deal with as adults.

If you've gotten to, say, your thirties, and you've never dated or had sex, that's somewhat unusual. And if it's not because you've deliberately chosen not to, or because you've never had access to compatible potential partners (being the only lesbian you know, for example), it suggests to many people that there's something wrong with you. So it may not be something you're keen to advertise to a potential partner.

[(Anonymous)]

Why not? I'm not sure I understand why you think this is so far fetched. People angst over being too "old" to still be a virgin all the time, they angst over being alone and dateless, they angst over being possibly unloveable. You might not worry about such things, but it's a concern for some people.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm actually pretty tempted to watch this show now, as that pretty much describes my situation perfectly as well. Thanks for that, OP, and I hope you do find someone.

[(Anonymous)]

Warning, anon, it's not exactly an uplifting feel-good story. There are some lovely moments, but be prepared for lots of heart-break. (And frustration with dropped plot threads and odd choices in terms of what to spend time on in the later episodes.)

[(Anonymous)]

OP, there are people in nursing homes who are meeting people and getting hitched. Chances are it's not too late for you, but most people who say they'll never meet someone aren't really doing all they could be doing to achieve that goal. Inexperience won't be a problem with the right partner. Issues could be a problem, depending on what they are, but that's something you have control over and can work upon.

[(Anonymous)]

This is tangential to the subject at hand, but I've always found the idea of trying to meet someone rather odd. I've never dated anyone, and part of the reason for that is that the people I've been interested in haven't reciprocated, while I haven't had any interest in the few people who have expressed some interest in me. I'd like to be with someone I care for who also cares for me, but I have absolutely no desire to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. Trying to meet people for the express purpose of potentially starting a relationship seems so cold and transactional, like hunting for a flat or buying a car, nothing at all to do with the elements of romance that actually appeal to me.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, same here. I met my partner through a shared interest. Then again, most people meet via a shared interest, work or shared friends, so maybe the dubiousness about a transactional view of relationships is normal.

[(Anonymous)]

Personally, I think it's better for people to learn how to be happy and whole on their own before they go looking for a relationship, but honestly, most people do both simultaneously. I also don't see anything wrong with looking for someone, if you're ready and you want it. You don't go through life expecting a good apartment, a good car or a good job to fall into your lap. Just about everything worth having is something you have to put effort into achieving, so why should relationships be any different?

[(Anonymous)]

For me the idea of pursuing a relationship the same way you'd pursue a job is incredibly off-putting. If I'm going to be with someone, I want them to want me, not a carefully contrived persona crafted to appeal to a list of specifications.

Successful relationships take effort, certainly, but I think there's a pretty big difference between working to maintain or improve a relationship that's come about naturally, and working to make a relationship exist in the first place.

[(Anonymous)]

I didn't mean you should literally pursue relationships the way you would search for a job. But waiting around for a relationship to happen "naturally" isn't going to be very realistic for most people. You don't generally wake up one morning only to realize that you're in a stable, long term relationship and it totally just happened all by itself.

People find rationalizations for not putting in the effort in usually find themselves alone, for good reason.

[(Anonymous)]

I could have written this secret. I felt exactly the same way when I watched this episode. I've been alone my entire adult life, and most of the time it's fine, but something like this show will hold a mirror up to how stark and unnatural my life really is compared to everyone else. It fucking hurts, and I only have myself to blame.

Ew, self-pity.

[(Anonymous)]

+10000000

i feel you and i love you anon

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, did this secret and the comments on it really hit home for me. Glad to know I'm not alone in these complex feelings.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry to hear how you feel, OP.
I was incredibly moved by London Spy, it was brilliant, but so very heart-breaking.
I don't know why things can't change for you, but maybe you can do something to help others, as a first step. That's what Alex was doing, he saw someone in need. Could you volunteer on a helpline? Meeting more people is a step to new things. Good luck, OP.