[ SECRET POST #3294 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3294 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 072 secrets from Secret Submission Post #471.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

What's something people have judged you for, or would judge you for, before hearing the whole story?

Then, what is the whole story?

[(Anonymous)]

I had sex with my brother.

Whole story: we were like 5 and 3 years old, we wanted to try this sex thing. We took our clothes off and rubbed our privates together

[(Anonymous)]

Can that even be called sex at that age?

[(Anonymous)]

That might alarm me just a bit personally

but I don't think I can really a judge a 5 year old and a 3 year old for anything.

[herpymcderp]

That isn't really sex, and it isn't really uncommon either. There's a reason "playing doctor" is on the parental radar.

Kids are curious, and this really isn't a big deal.

[(Anonymous)]

good golly miss molly

[(Anonymous)]

This is pretty common to be honest, and I don't think anyone would sincerely judge you for it.

[(Anonymous)]

*eyebrown raised*

[(Anonymous)]

It's weird, but you were just kids and kids are curious. It's not like you're trying to get into his pants now.

I'm...not even sure that could be considered sex.

[(Anonymous)]

why had a 3 and 5 year old heard the word "sex" and understood its mechanics (somewhat)...?

[(Anonymous)]

I was accused of masturbating in front of a child (one of my cousins) once.

It was half misunderstanding, half hateful lie, but since people are so hysterical about kids if you had not heard my version, I'm sure some people would crucify me.

The full story (as far as I understand it) is that the kid had found some of his dad's porn, and said something along the lines of one of the actresses reminding him of mes. Which led to paranoia (because hey, the kid finding porn is totally fine, but I'm suspicious). I was completely unaware of any of this. Anyway I think there was this one summer day where I was hot, and sprawled out on a seat, legs open I guess (but nothing like underpants showing or whatever), and my thumb hooked in my skirt's band and this "friend" of the family (who apparently's already has been gossiped to) starts panicking, and tells everyone I'm masturbating with the kid in the room.

I told my mom the truth, fortunately she believed me, and took none of that shit.

[(Anonymous)]

What a weird creepy thing :/ I'm so sorry nonnie

[iceyred]

Somebody must have a sick mind to think of something like that and accuse another person of it.

[(Anonymous)]

That's really horrible. People are mystifyingly awful sometimes.

[(Anonymous)]

*deep breath* I kind of lied--more like allowed someone to believe--that I'd been molested.

Reasoning: it was easier, in the context of our friendship, to allow her to believe that's what had happened than to go into the details of explaining that what happened probably wasn't what she was picturing, more that I was just long-term groomed and manipulated by a relative who ignored my boundaries (physical included) and set out to make me dependent, destroy my sense of privacy/safety, and make me feel unsafe around my father.

I still feel bad, though.

[herpymcderp]

I dunno, anon. I think the difference between that and molestation is sort of purely definitional at that point.

[badass_tiger]

I think if I were your friend, I wouldn't think any less of you or find what happened to you any less a cause for concern if you explained the full situation tbh.

[(Anonymous)]

You're not alone, but to be honest you do sound like you were the victim of something very sketchy.

[(Anonymous)]

I kinda ruined my dads life.

When I was little something bad was done happened to me. It was my dad's mother who did it but when it came to light I said it was my dad. I still to this day don't know why I did it, but I've never taken it back. I haven't seem my dad or anyone on that side of the family since.

It's a fucked up thing I did and every now and then I get hit with a massive wave of guilt and the desire to put things right, but that can't happen now. I can't even imagine how that confession would go.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, you have to start somewhere, the righting this wrong even a little bit. Is there a family member you could talk to about it? I seriously doubt anyone would truly hate you for getting mixed up as a child in the midst of something bad.

[(Anonymous)]

i'm assuming it's some form of sexual abuse? did anyone go to jail? it's really a common thing for abuse victims to name the wrong perpetrator. sometimes its to protect the person who did it. sometimes it's an unwillingness to believe yourself that your grandma in this case did anything so bad because that's just not what grandma's do. some times it comes from the believe that you dad in this case is big and strong and can take it and so he, and by extention you, won't get into as much trouble. sometimes it's just straight up fear. your dad never hurt you so you're less worried about pissing him of than you would be about telling on your grandma.

If no-one is currently in prison, it would be a good thing to tell the truth, even this much later, but not essential. it's a common coping response and no-one should make you feel bad for it. you did what you had to to deal with what happened to you and you can't be in the wrong for that. your grandma was wrong, you were a victim. now you are a survivor.

if you're dad is in prison because of this, you need to confess right now. seriously. it'll sting you to do it, but you can't let him suffer in prison for this.

[(Anonymous)]

That is not a unique story. I hope you can find a way to forgive yourself.

30, I live with my parents and don't pay for anything...

[(Anonymous)]

At their request, to save money. I make six figures and save six figures a year. I hope to hit $800k and retire from the 9-5 workforce by 35.

People who judge at the first sentence never find out the rest.

Re: 30, I live with my parents and don't pay for anything...

[(Anonymous)]

IMO, other people's financial situations are nobody else's business.