fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3298 ]

[ SECRET POST #3298 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3298 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Floraverse]

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[Star Wars: The Force Awakens]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 017 secrets from Secret Submission Post #471.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Transcript: I feel like I'm not allowed to headcanon Rey as anything but a lesbian.

I headcanon her as bi and ship her with Finn, Poe, and Kylo (and would with any girls if we had any that were bloody viable for shipping with her :T), but everyone seems so dead set on her as a lesbian that I just feel lonely, even though I know that's not true with how popular my other ships are.

The troll Reylo fic doesn't help at all.

Argh, you're ALLOWED to headcanon someone as anything you want. Yes, people will disagree with your headcanon. Sometimes strongly. That doesn't mean you AREN'T ALLOWED to do something.

SOMEONE DISAGREEING WITH YOU IS NOT THE SAME THING AS BEING BANNED FROM DOING SOMETHING.

WHEN will people stop with this "wah, I'm not allowed to do whatever!" crap?

This. I mean, I know what it feels like to feel isolated in fandom... but in reality no one has the power to stop you. Chances are there are other people who share your ships. Rey has no canon ship or sexuality, so ship her with whoever the hell you want.

Sure you're allowed to, but when you know if you post said headcanon or make any reference to it dozens and dozens of people are going to come out of the woodwork to make sure you know you're wrong and they're right and also you are a terrible human being, it sucks the fun out of it.

There's a difference between "I saw Rey kissing Finn on the forehead as romantic." "Oh, well I saw it as motherly, what did you think felt romantic about it?"
and
"I saw Rey kissing Finn on the forehead as romantic." "Well :) I guess someone brainwashed by heteronormativity where women aren't allowed to exist except as some man's dick coozy would be unable to see it as anything but romantic :) but, have you considered... Rey is canonly a lesbian? :) And as a lesbian she's not going to kiss a dude romantically? :) Just something to think about! :)"
And then add in about twenty other rephrases and some "Anyone who ships Ray and Finn is gross and a misogynist don't you know that's abusive? You're sick"

What is so hard about deleting or blocking those people and going on about your day?

So you think the whole Zamii thing was entirely 100% her fault for not blocking those people and going about her day? Nice.

I don't know who that is and I don't care. It's completely irrelevant.

If somebody is being a jerk to you about your fantasies regarding a fictional character, block that mother-fucker and get on with your life. Don't be a little bitch about it.

IIRC Zamii had a really strong hatebase that ran multiple troll accounts spamming up her ask box. So she'd block one, they'd make another, and the cycle would repeat.

Not saying people should commit suicide over bullying, but her case wasn't, well, normal.

*nayrt

So in other words it's nbd to be a jerk because it should be on the recipient of the jerky behavior to not...receive jerky behavior?

It's on the recipient of jerky behavior from the hate base to either ignore it, or turn off the fucking computer.

There will always be some asshole out there who hates what you're doing. It's on you to tell them to fuck off and go about your merry way. Why is this so hard for people to understand?

You don't have to care what others think. Especially not about fictional characters.

If someone acts like a dick, you don't have to listen to it. Block them. Turn off the computer. Go to another website, God knows there are thousands.

Where did this idea that people are helpless come from?

Except it's not that easy? Have you ever had to?

Shit, I just watched it go down yesterday. A fic writer got an anon going "Don't you know these two adult characters have a mentor/student dynamic and so it's kind of gross to ship them?"
"Yup, I like that dynamic."

"Well you need to tag it child grooming because it triggered me."
"Nope! If you have a problem with that, don't look at my blog."

Let me reiterate. A consensual relationship between two adults who happen to have a mentor/student relationship. Next thing they know they're getting floods of anon hate, so they turn off anon. All the fandom tags have been spammed with the fact they're a child molester. Twitter fandom has been spammed. I'm not on instagram, but wouldn't be surprised if they were spamming that too. They're getting off-anon hate. Stuff of theirs is getting reblogged accusing them of being a child molester.

Now, how do you block that? How do you ignore that? How do you continue to participate in fandom when the only thing in fandom for you is people screaming that you're a child molester? That you can't post anything without it getting targeted. Your friends can't say anything or they get the same treatment.

All because you refused to give into one demand that you tag your consensual adult ship as CHILD-GROOMING for a random anon that claims to be upset by seeing it presented as ok.

The only thing you can do is give in to the bullying, or leave fandom.

Hell, I have someone stalk me for over a year because in a doll fandom I bought a brand of doll she didn't like. She waited, and got me booted off dA by fabricating all these screencaps of me harassing her and her followers. I barely even remembered her! I vaguely remembered the name and had to go searching back through old messages to see where she'd flamed me and I'd blocked her.

People are nuts.

So why does saying it should be the onus of assholes to stop being assholes equate to saying people are "helpless"?

Why are users here so pedantic about the phrase "not allowed"? It's obviously shorthand for "I'm going to get lots of shit from lots of people if I do this, and I think that's really unpleasant and unfair." Which is a valid concern.

It's really fucking annoying.

It makes it seem like people who disagree with someone too strongly are censoring them or forbidding them from doing something.

I'm sick of disagreement being equated with censorship.

And finally, it's fucking annoying.

And yet you turn around and do it yourself? Why's it ok for the second person to disagree, but not for the first person to say they find that rude?

If I go into a sandwich place and order a sandwich and some pushy vegan comes up all "Don't you know that meat is murder?" I'm going to go "Delicious murder, fuck off." And then I might complain that pushy vegans need to fuck off and stop telling me I can't eat meat.

But ooooh noooo! I'm acting like the pushy vegans are ceeeeeosoring my food choices! They didn't hold a gun to my head, or slap the sandwich out of my hand. Do I really have a right to say them coming up to me and saying I'm a murderer and maybe shoving some graphic PETA pamphlets at me is rude and I didn't like it?

Same with fandom. If I post a happy little StormPilot fic and someone comes into the comments to tell me I'm a racist misogynistic shitlord because it's not Finn/Rey, then I'm going to tell them to fuckoff. If they don't like it, they can not read it. and if I'm being fuckin' annoying by doing that, oh well!

I kind of wonder, there's this whole theory on how people perceive confrontation. Some people have a better grasp on when someone's doing something, and when someone's doing something at them. Some people see a woman walking down the street and think the woman is walking down the street. Some people see a woman walking down the street and think she's doing it to get their attention and since she made the first move they can catcall her.

That's why youtube comments tend to be so horrible, they're made up by people who feel like the video existing is a lot more personal. "How to pluck overly thick eyebrows." "HEy. HEY! Screw you. Some of us have overly thin eyebrows we have to fill in, why don't you go screw yourself?"

Hell, that's the whole reason fandom secrets exists, isn't it? You've got an opinion you feel will provoke a reaction, and you want a safe way to express it. You put it somewhere neutral people can praise it or trash it or whatever instead of posting it in your fandom space or shoving it into someone else's.

So in other words, the shorthand and common use go right over your head

WORD.

Like, seriously. People gotta get over their ships not being QUITE as well-liked as the last fandom!normcore one.

this

People are oddly overly sensitive nowadays. This coming from someone who says "ship and ship alike". Normally you'd just say fuck it and do whatever you want.

And that's why I worded it "feels like" I can't not "I'm literally not allowed"

Like, I'm sorry my corner of the fandom is overrun by people who think headcanon = end all be all interpretation of a character and anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong. Shit is frustrating, esp bc I suck at standing up for myself.

And that's why I make fandom secrets instead lmfao

I ship her with Finn and kinda with Kylo and would be willing to ship her with any women who come along so you are not alone. :3

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[ SECRET POST #3298 ]

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