fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3300 ]

[ SECRET POST #3300 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3300 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #472.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I realise it is probably intrusive and bad form to follow people around the kitchen while they're cooking to clean up after them, but a) my kitchen too and I have to live with it, and b) if you just cleaned as you fucking went each little thing would take you like two seconds apiece instead of the fifteen minutes the giant freaking mess takes you at the end! And, when I say 'you' there, mostly I mean 'me', since I end up having to clean it up anyway. So, you know. Either start cleaning as you go, or just put up with me all up in your space.

With respect, anon, holy shit that sounds like an incredibly passive-aggressive, rude thing for you to do

sounds like you're micromanaging big time

don't do dishes or chores for a while, grab some paper plates and plasticware and stash them in your room and eat with them, and eventually your roommates will get the hint

Or OP could try talking to them like they're adults

Re: random rant (feel free to add your own)

(Anonymous) - 2016-01-16 22:32 (UTC) - Expand

Do they clean up their big mess properly at the end? Because if they did, then yeah, you're being passive aggressive. I strongly dislike people messing around my kitchen, but if they're cooking AND cleaning up after themselves, then even I have to admit it's no skin off my nose and if I make a fuss about it then, I'M the one causing problems.

OP. No they don't. Because by then it's a big mess and they don't want to have to deal with it, so they just leave it to fester. If I don't clean it, it isn't cleaned. I let this go for a while, asking them to try cleaning up after, but after a couple of months of being ignored I'm just damn well cleaning it up while it's small and manageable and they can just lump it.

Re: random rant (feel free to add your own)

(Anonymous) - 2016-01-16 22:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: random rant (feel free to add your own)

(Anonymous) - 2016-01-16 23:11 (UTC) - Expand

Ugh. People like you actually drive me nuts. I get the cleaning done. I just like to do it all at the end rather than having to redo some of it. If someone tries to clean while I'm in the middle of cooking (and my dad does sometimes), I get really pissed off.

My mom is demanding that my dad pay her $60000 a year for her "stay at home mom job", he's refusing, and I agree with him.

One, $60000 a year is totally fucking unreasonably high.
Two, she plans to take the money tax-free without paying rent, for her car, food, clothes, and so on. All of that is considered household supplies by her and therefore not out of her pocket.
Three, she wants to be paid but refuses to enter into an employer-employee relationship, meaning nobody gets to ask her to do anything she wasn't planning to do, or critique any of the work she does.

She is 50 and has never had an official job with an employer before and has no idea how they work. But something or someone put the idea in her head that she should be paid separately for her work even though my parents already have joint accounts for everything and she's never had to give up anything for her car or home or shopping, so it doesn't even matter. Listening to them argue is infuriating in the frustrating way. I can't believe this person worries that I don't know how the real world works.

Oh, wow. I'm guessing she's been feeling a little undervalued (or maybe a LOT undervalued) for the work she's put in over the years to run the household. Which is fair enough, a lot of housewives are stuck in this position where they're on the job 24/7, but with few people recognizing it as "work".

At this point I doubt you could reason with her, though I agree with your points. $60K is rather high, and if she wants her work to be treated on par with a job outside the home, then it's only logical to figure in the same expenses, responsibilities and taxes. But you won't get far arguing this. The only way to tackle this issue is to go the root of the problem, which is your mother feeling under-appreciated and taken for granted.

Re: random rant (feel free to add your own)

(Anonymous) - 2016-01-16 23:13 (UTC) - Expand

Re: random rant (feel free to add your own)

(Anonymous) - 2016-01-16 23:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: random rant (feel free to add your own)

(Anonymous) - 2016-01-16 23:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: random rant (feel free to add your own)

(Anonymous) - 2016-01-17 04:18 (UTC) - Expand

Intrusive, bad form, and controlling, yes.

It drives me nuts when people don't clean up after themselves, but I don't get all huffy and make a point of showing them how much they suck. Now if they still haven't cleaned their damn mess after a day and other people need to cook, then I might bitch.

My mother had surgery early in the week on her hand. So she's needing a lot of help, which is fine. I don't mind helping at all. Except that she's decided that interrupting my studying is better than interrupting my dad's work. And today I was trying to take a nap and I got interrupted not only by her but by him as well. So I'm feeling cranky and annoyed right now. Also, my dad hates grocery shopping, so he's putting it off. He's going to have to do it because she can't. But we're really low on food and he is insisting we won't go until Tuesday.

LOL... see how much he likes crackers, tuna and a spoonful of peanut butter for dinner, maybe he'll change his mind.

Re: random rant (feel free to add your own)

philstar22 - 2016-01-17 04:36 (UTC) - Expand

My job had an employee who I'll call E who left a couple years before I got there. He had a reputation for slacking off, but he was the only employee who spoke fluent Spanish, so Spanish-speaking customers would rather talk to him than any other employee. Because of this, his sales numbers were high and the sales numbers of employees who worked the same shift as him went down.

My boss invited him back to work the Christmas rush, and it became apparent that he and I had a lot of little habits that got on each other's nerves. He hated how I apologized all the time, I hated how he asked rhetorical questions all the time, that sort of thing.

After one shift, I asked my boss if E would come back after Christmas, and he said E might come back for other holidays. I said that I could be professional and work with E, but I would prefer to avoid being scheduled with him if possible.

E is now back as a full-time employee. He's scheduled for several days each week, and I'm only scheduled for one day when he's not in. My boss's boss likes him, so he's on track to become assistant manager.

I reiterated to my boss that I could work with E, and I told him that I would like to work more hours if possible. I'n not sure yet how this will play out. Did I fuck up?

Maybe a little bit. You couldn't have known E would come back as a full time employee, but honestly, unless your co-worker problems are severe, it's usually best to try and resolve it between you or grin and bear it rather than taking it to your boss. Most bosses aren't willing or able to deal with issues like this (even though it's part of their job) and they'll likely take the easy way out of doing nothing... or brushing off the employee they like/value least. In this case, that appears to be you, and since you brought it up, you end up labeled the troublemaker. :(

Time to start looking for a new job.

I have a friend who is becoming a bit of a pain in the ass. She doesn't live close so I mostly communicate with her via internet (mostly twitter and tumblr).
Now, she is a person who prides herself on being so incredibly open minded, the kind of person you can rationally talk to about anything, she'll understand! And yeah, she used to be like that.
But since a year or two, she has gotten increasingly touchy and paranoid about everything. Recently, I complained about a certain type of thing I don't like people doing on twitter. It was a really general thing, but a few seconds later, I got a private message from her, complaining that I totally meant her with that comment and she was just wondering what she did to deserve it. I cleared it up (don't know if she believed me, though.)

Then one day later, she wrote a rant on tumblr about how she hates it when people vagueblog and it's totally rude and shitty and you shouldn't do it because she will always think you mean her and then she will feel so terrible!
And I'm kinda annoyed because a) now I feel kinda "vagued at" (her words, not mine) by that rant and I think it's damn hypocritical and b) she vagueblogs ALL THE FUCKING TIME. And c) now I'm not sure if I can write some general statements about things that bother me without having her think I'm vagueblogging about her.

Another thing: She is constantly whining that none of her friends care about her anymore and she doesn't have contact to them and waaah everyone is abandoning her. But... she has friends visiting her all the time and I think it's super rude of her to just dismiss them like that. Also, she never contacts me and other older friends of hers that don't live near her. And I'm kind of tired of running after her considering she always just complains or spams fandom shit at me that I'm not interested in.

Also, she whines that she is so terrible at social interactions. Thing is: She is perfectly aware of what she's doing wrong, she just is too lazy or self-obsessed to actually change it.

Then: She's an anti-shipper. She recently has discovered she's asexual and thinks now that all asexual people have zero interest in shipping. She keeps going on an on about how much romances and shipping annoys her, that she doesn't ~understand~ it and all. At the same time, she kept spamming everyone with her thought and gushing about the Ruby/Sapphire ship from Steven Universe. But because it's her, it's totally not shipping. Because shipping is stupid and everyone who ships characters is weird. All except her. Because she doesn't ship anyone, although she totally does.

I could go on and on about her. She has just become so aggrevating to talk to and I'm thinking about breaking off contact, but on the other hand, I'd feel guilty about being another one of her friends to abandon her.

Don't feel guilty. Some people are truly insufferable and can't be "fixed" through any amount of communication (which it sounds like you've attempted). People like that are just drains on emotional resources, and you're allowed to say you've had enough. I've had to do it before, and trust me, it's worth it to cut and run.

Well, I understand the guilt but not all friendships are meant to last forever. Sometimes they run their course, and it sounds like this one has. I certainly wouldn't stay it just to soothe your friend's abandonment issues because frankly, it doesn't sound like it'd make a difference. She's probably going to whine anyway.

Your friend has a great deal of control over how they treat people, so if they choose to behave this way, well, losing friends is their own fault, not yours or anyone else's. Maybe it'll be a wake up call for them.

Time to suggest she seek therapy. Seriously, it sound like she might me developing a mental illness and/or depression.

The personality shift could also indicate a tumor or a brain disease such as epilepsy.

Re: random rant (feel free to add your own)

(Anonymous) - 2016-01-17 12:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: random rant (feel free to add your own)

(Anonymous) - 2016-01-17 15:16 (UTC) - Expand

I'm stressed and tired and trying to juggle a housesitter who can't housesitter anymore and boarding a dog that can clear 6ft fences and seeing my dying grandmother and my little sister who drives me nuts with her neverending whining and her stupid argument with my dad it's been THREE YEARS work shit OUT and my littler sisters energy and blargh I am brain dead this was meant to be a week off, not family stuff. Everytime I take a week off it ends up being filled with tiring, stressful family stuff.

I FORGOT I WAS MEANT TO BE AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY OVER AN HOUR AGO AND IT'S A 30 MIN DRIVE

Going to meet them at theirs instead.

I would love having someone follow me around the kitchen and clean up after me while I cook lmao.

Er, maybe not if they were constantly in my elbow space. (Not directing that at you OP, just musing. I live alone so it's really neither here nor there.)

Wow you sound like an absolute peach to live with. If someone tried that with me, there would be unkind words to follow.

Um, what?

You think it's unreasonable for someone to take 15 minutes to clean up after being in the kitchen? Ffs, if it's a sharehouse situation, you should be glad they do it at all. I personally think 24 hours afterwards is the minimum amount of time something can be left before you go nag the person who left it to clean it in a sharehouse. That, or clean it yourself without being a passive aggressive nutcase.

You are the unreasonable person in this situation, nonny.

Dude, I would hit you. Hard. In the face. With a plate.

You either need to calm the fuck down or get your own place cause you sound like you're wound tight as fuck.

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