[ SECRET POST #3300 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3300 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #472.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I get so jealous of my girlfriend cause she goes out with friends a lot and all my friends have either moved away or just don't want to/aren't able to spend time with me anymore. It's not a fair thing to be jealous of so I don't talk about it, but I am.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Never mind fair, it's kind of silly to be jealous about friends when you can surely make friends of your own.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Well I've been failing at it for a few years now so "surely" might be a little optimistic

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

It might be, but honestly? Every single time I see someone saying they can't make friends, it's usually a few things:

* not trying very hard, i.e. not leaving the house, not talking to people or pursuing new hobbies, activities, exercise, meetup.com, etc.

* accidentally alienating other people with their behavior - admittedly a tough one, because you may not even be aware of what you're doing that's putting people off. Personal hygiene all right? Not giving off weird or needy vibes? You know how to engage in friendly conversation? Not hitting people with "edgy" humor too soon, or sharing TMI? Stuff like that.

* not being a good friend - meeting people and starting a new friendship is one thing, but keeping it is another. This is related to the accidental alienation issue, though. I have done the slow fade from friends I liked, because they were being rather selfish and it was exhausting to deal with their needs when they had no consideration for mine. There was no reciprocity. That gets old fast, no matter how funny, smart or talented a friend is.

* not being patient enough

You've had friends in the past, so you know it's not impossible to do. But sometimes these things get harder as we get older and aren't thrown together with other people at school on a daily basis. You really have to put some effort into it, and a lot of people simply aren't used to that idea, so they give up easily.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I guess jealous of my longterm SO's female friends, but only because he tends to cheat on me/freaks out if I don't pretend to be his "friend" among certain female friends of his (Which makes me think he's cheating again, despite his freak outs that he isn't)

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Wh........y are you still with this guy?

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Cheaters gonna cheat, nonny. You keep dating one and making excuses for why you need to stay with him despite his cheating and the fact that he wants to hide your relationship, it's going to blow up in your face sooner or later. You sticking around despite his shitty behavior has taught him that he doesn't need to curb that shitty behavior whatsoever. Why bother? As history shows, you'll put up with it, there's no need for him to change.

Let me introduce you to something called "the sunk cost fallacy":

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/how-the-sunk-cost-fallacy-makes-you-act-stupid.html

When you stay in a bad relationship because you've already put so much work in, you're just flushing your time and emotional resources down the toilet. There will be no return, no blue ribbon for being a long suffering partner. Get out while you can, because this relationship has likely cost you too much already. Your future relationships will be burdened with the jealousy and paranoia baggage you're picking up thanks to the loser you're dating now. Save yourself, nonny.