[ SECRET POST #3329 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3329 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 055 secrets from Secret Submission Post #476.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

perspective

[(Anonymous)]

Yesterday in the "Would you read this?" thread, somebody said a story that dealt with depression from the perspective of the depressed person's partner is "skeevy." Is that a common opinion?

Source: http://fandomsecrets.dreamwidth.org/1365714.html?thread=891660498#cmt891660498

Re: perspective

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, depends. It really comes down to how it's written, but the premise doesn't automatically become skeevy in my opinion. Even if it presented as skeevy, that doesn't necessarily make it bad. Just look at literature like Lolita. Skeevy as fuck, but it's still a good piece of literature.

Re: perspective

[(Anonymous)]

I think they're misidentifying the real problem.

The real problem is when the story acts as if the problems and struggles of the mentally ill person affect the people around them worse. When the mentally ill person is treated as a burden on people around them, and just not treating the mentally ill person like a person, or treating them as if they're not as important as everyone else.

I don't think it's automatically morally wrong that any story involving mental illness isn't from the mentally ill person's perspective. But you just need to treat the mentally ill person with respect and treat their problems with respect.

Don't give the non mentally ill person a case of the "it's all about ME" in regards to their spouse's problem.

As someone who has mental conditions and struggled with mental illnesses, it's very infuriating and insulting to be treated like you are someone else's problem or burden. Or to have someone else act like struggles you deal with hurt them more than you, the person dealing with them first hand.

Treating a person like a burden or making yourself to be the biggest sufferer of their illness is what's skeevy. And altogether downright disrespectful.

Just remember to show respect to the mentally ill person as a human being.

Re: perspective

[(Anonymous)]

Well, potentially the problems and struggles of the mentally ill person could indeed result in at least some of the people around them suffering worse than the person with the mental illness--what about dependent small children? I think there's a case to be made that if they're abused or neglected as a result of the mental illness, they might suffer even more than the patient.

Re: perspective

[philstar22]

I don't know if I would say it is automatically skeevy. But I would say that any time you write from the perspective of the other person you run the risk of making the first person's mental illness all about the other person and how it affects their story. And that is skeevy to me.

Re: perspective

[(Anonymous)]

" you run the risk of making the first person's mental illness all about the other person"

This. Very much this.

Re: perspective

[(Anonymous)]

Nayrt
Everybody's story is a story about themselves, though. Partners (and caregivers, if say it were a story about the very old or the very young) are just as deserving of having their stories told.

I agree with the respect though.

Re: perspective

[herpymcderp]

The only way I could see this being skeevy is if it's fetishizing mental illness or if it's from the perspective of "depression is harder on me than it is on my partner".

I mean, the reality is that it's hard for everyone. Being support in those kinds of situations is challenging because it's a situation you can't fix, and it's not one that really gives you a break. You would like to just say some magic words and have the problem vanish, but you can't do that. It's also very draining to go through, on a personal level.

I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with acknowledging how difficult it can be to be the partner of someone who is depressed.

Re: perspective

[diet_poison]

Nope. I mean it could definitely be badly done, but it's not inherently skeevy, no. Actually I think it's an important perspective.