fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3404 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3404 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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18. [SPOILERS for Bleach]

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19. [SPOILERS for Sleepy Hollow]

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20. [SPOILERS for Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma]

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21. [WARNING for incest, rape/non-con]

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22. [WARNING for sexual assault]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #486.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

+1. It's basically Abuser Disorder. I don't think it's a choice they've made (although the ones refusing therapy can get fucked) but they still hurt other people and should not be involving themselves with people unless they can control themselves.

Cause being a hermit is always great for people's mental health, haven't you heard

Abusive, toxic people being hermits is better for everyone's mental health.

Getting abusive, toxic people to accept the help that they need is the best for everyone's mental health, and forcing them to be hermits is absolutely not the best way to do that.

BUT OF COURSE NO ONE SHOULD BE FORCED TO STAY IN SITUATIONS THAT ARE UNHEALTHY FOR THEM there is a middle ground here, I am just saying we don't need to burn them at the stake

In my experience? Abusive, toxic people will never ever change, and never ever get better. At least if they're hermits, they can't hurt anybody.

Well, no, that's fucking wrong and incredibly shitty. We're not talking about abusers in general. We're talking about people who have BPD. It is a mood disorder. It is not a moral failing. People can improve with treatment.

People with BPD are abusive unless they get help. Full stop. If they won't get help, they need to stop being around people, period.

That's not what you fucking said in the post that you were replying to. You said that they can never change. What I'm saying precisely is that they NEED to get help and yelling at them about how they're innately evil and should live in the woods is the opposite of conducive to that.

In my experience, people with BPD are more likely to refuse to get help when they're made aware that the way they're treating people is shitty. In fact, the three I've known doubled down on the abuse after being told they were being abusive.

A lot of abusive folks without BPD double down on abuse after being told they're being abusive. That's not convincing evidence that all people with BPD are inherently abusive.

All I see is someone who wants everyone with BPD to suffer because of their experience.

Yeah, I admit a part of me is a little petty and probably does want that. But to me that's just a bonus. The ideal would be for people with BPD who refuse to get treatment to just go live in a cave somewhere where they can't hurt anyone.

Then you know what? You're a little shit.

You don't really care about people getting hurt as much as you want your revenge.

I bet you have just as much capability to be abusive to someone.

Nope, I actually do care more about people not getting hurt. Revenge would just be an extra perk.

Yes, I would say everyone has equal capability for being abusive to others. The difference is, people who aren't abusive choose not to be.

I sometimes wonder if I have BPD. I haven't been close with enough people since becoming an adult to really tell, and I have intimacy issues out the wazoo. I'd like to be in a romantic relationship and have friends and stuff, but I don't want to hurt anyone or risk getting hurt myself.

Do you have extreme, inappropriate emotional reactions to things? Do you have a fear of abandonment such that you will stalk, harass and threaten people into being too afraid to leave you? Do you threaten self-harm or suicide in order to guilt others to staying around? Do you go through cycles of overvaluing and then devaluing and discarding friends and family?

If not, you probably don't have it.

In order: Yes, no, yes (they were in danger of overdosing if they took anymore and I got a knife and threatened to kill myself if they didn't give up the bottles), what friends? and almost all my family are dead but I see the ones that aren't a couple times a year, I don't hate them or anything.

It is not reasonable to expect people to endure your abuse so you can be more mentally healthy.

This times a million.

This.

I agree as someone who actually works in the mental health field. Absolutely we want people to come in, get help, learn skills and techniques that will keep them living healthy lives and keep them and the people around them safe.

But the people around you have the right to be safe before you have the right to be happy.

"People around you have the right to be safe before you have the right to be happy." I think I might have BPD and I still love this quote. If I'm hurting people they're not obligated to put up with my shit. It's hard to remember when my abandonment issues and intimacy issues and anxiety are ganging up to scream at me until I scream at whoever's closest, but thank you for putting it so succinctly.

I agree. But there's a difference between pointing that out and telling people with BPD to go live in the woods where they can't bother anyone.

[ SECRET POST #3404 ]

(frozen comment) Re: Really sick of BPD Awareness

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(frozen comment) DA

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(frozen comment) Re: Really sick of BPD Awareness

(frozen comment) Re: Really sick of BPD Awareness

(frozen comment) Re: Really sick of BPD Awareness

(frozen comment) Re: Really sick of BPD Awareness

(frozen comment) Re: Really sick of BPD Awareness

(frozen comment) Re: Really sick of BPD Awareness

(frozen comment) Re: Really sick of BPD Awareness

(frozen comment) Re: Really sick of BPD Awareness