fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3476 ]

[ SECRET POST #3476 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3476 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 44 secrets from Secret Submission Post #497.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I try to ignore them, but spite and defiance are the most powerful motivators in my life. Remind me of something I should do for my own good that I was doing or about to start? I'm suddenly on facebook. Tell me I'll never accomplish something? It's done. Tell me I need to stop doubting myself? I secretly hope I'll fail miserably to show you I was right. I hate it and I don't know how to make it stop.

Seems like you need to have a long, deep conversation about yourself about why you behave this way, anon.

Ask yourself some questions: What happened that made it so you feel utterly compelled to prove everyone wrong? Why do you feel the need to react in a negative way to external influences instead of learning how to find internal ones? How can you go about putting that part of yourself to rest?

Until you find out the source of your problems they're not going to go away.

IMO the problem is not you. It's everyone who tries to tell you how to do you. I don't respond well to that sort of treatment, either. Which is one reason I dislike the social justice movement so much. I have no respect for uninvited input on how to live my life.

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 01:06 (UTC) - Expand

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 02:12 (UTC) - Expand

This is a combination of confession and question, I guess.
I'm not very sexual, and never had sex because I never found somebody I really wanted to do it with. But I'm basically attracted to male bodies, when I'm attracted.
Yet every single sex dream I've had has been with a female partner.

Help me, F!S. Am I bi? Is my subconscious a lesbian? Do I find males threatening, so my subconscious provides females for my sex dreams? Am I only attracted to male bodies waking because the media says that the male is ideal? Am I ________sexual?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don't know, man.

You lack a good frame of reference for sex with a man, I expect. So your subconscious fills in with another woman. The anatomy is familiar.

It might be that your dreams are just an attempt to find your own body attractive and worthy of pleasure, nonny. Maybe it's less of a reflection of how you would like to have sex, and more of a reflection of your insecurities around sex.

For example, I rarely experience rejection IRL, but most of my dreams about sex involve me getting rejected because of one really pivotal experience in my life that I still feel subconscious pain over. The more I become okay with that outcome and that past experience, the less I dream about being rejected.

Do you find yourself attracted to your female partners in your dreams? If so, then perhaps you're bi.

If not, well, fantasies don't always match up with what you want in reality. I love the aesthetics of lesbian porn, but I'm only interested in sleeping with men in real life.

wouldn't put too much weigh on sex dreams, they're pretty meaningless. your sexuality is about how you relate to others sexually while you're awake, not what you dream about

basically attracted to male bodies

Are you really? Are you actually attracted to dudes or do you think you are because you don't find guys' bodies gross or traumatic so that must mean you like them? Does your attraction to women feel different?

I'm not doubting you, I don't know you. But that's something you need to think about. You don't have to default to "basically attracted." That's like saying you must like broccoli because you don't spit it out.

Edited 2016-07-11 01:18 (UTC)

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 02:59 (UTC) - Expand

I've been actively heterosexual for twenty years, which in my case means sleeping with women. Am just not into guys, personally. Can't even do an MMF threesome, because the presence of another naked dude is a turnoff for me, which I feel bad about, but what are you going to do?

I've also had multiple sex dreams involving other guys.

Dreams are weird. That's literally as far as you need to worry about this. Dreams are fuckin' weird.

I think this is actually pretty common? Most of my sex dreams seem to be about women, even though irl I'm predominantly attracted to guys and the vast majority of my sexual experiences have been with men. I'm also often really pushy in my dreams, when irl I'm submissive to the point of not engaging with people at all.

Sex dreams are weird, and whoever you have sex with in them doesn't necessarily correlate AT ALL with who you're really atracted to. That's why people can have super hot sex dreams about their sibling or the dog down the street or something and then wake up and be like "oh EW."

My husband was very overweight when we met. He gained some weight. He lost some weight. He's gaining more and more. I never minded before, but his weight is starting to disgust me. It's not just his attitude--life is too short not to eat only the food he likes as much as he likes, and him not even thirty--but his physical appearance itself has become repelling. He always had a lower sex drive than me and all of a sudden I'm grateful.

He also wants kids. He has heart disease and diabetes on both sides of the family. I don't know if I could have children with someone with an elevated chance of dying young. I'm selfish and vain and terrified.

People who manage their diabetes live just as long these days. Stop using that as an excuse for your hateful attitude.

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 00:04 (UTC) - Expand

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 00:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 09:27 (UTC) - Expand

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 19:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 02:57 (UTC) - Expand

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think it's selfish to feel this way. It's also not a crime to not find certain body types attractive; often it's just something you can't help.

What is wrong with this situation is that you aren't communicating your feelings about this to your partner. He is an adult with as much right to behave how he likes as anyone else... but he deserves to know that his actions are affecting your relationship, and he deserves the chance to make an appropriate compromise before you decide without his input that you can't have children with him or you need to break up.

I suggest the two of you see a counselor because it sounds like you have relationship issues far beyond his weight.

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 02:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 02:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 06:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 00:44 (UTC) - Expand

I wish the Harry Potter fandom weren't reduced to people who have to write the kinkiest, OOC shit they can think of.

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 00:02 (UTC) - Expand

Much of the reason why I'm a strong advocate for gun control is that I spent most of my high school years fantasizing about shooting up the place. I never did for fear I would be caught and stopped before I was able to, but it wouldn't have been difficult to actually get my self-absorbed, wangsty hands on firearms.

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 00:07 (UTC) - Expand

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 02:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 07:51 (UTC) - Expand

I sometimes feel like I'm not even the main character of my own life.

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 00:00 (UTC) - Expand

I may or may not have a crush on Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark.

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 00:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: we always need a confession thread

(Anonymous) - 2016-07-11 11:07 (UTC) - Expand

I always look for song lyrics on one of those sites that lets users post their interpretation of it because I'm embarrassed that I'll misunderstand a song with a super blatant meaning.

There's a certain comm I'm a part of, and for the most part, we bond over our love of a ship. There are disagreements and different opinions, but everyone is at least civil.

There are days I feel like slapping the hell out of some of them. It's not because their opinion clashes with mine. It's the way they have to shoehorn their opinion, no matter how off-topic it is, into random posts. It's like, "Yeah, we get it, you hate X character, you wish they'd jump off a cliff. I think you've made this sufficiently clear the first 500 times. Can we move on now?"

And other times, they whine and whine about how others don't believe in their ship. Personally, I don't give a shit about what faith others do or don't put into my ships because we all like different things. The ship is not canon, but is obviously moving toward canon. There are people who see it, and people who don't for various reasons-- they have their own ship involving ½ of our preferred ship, or they don't care about romance, or don't think the preferred ship are anything more than friends, etc. It doesn't matter. But there are so many in the comm so ridiculously butthurt over what some idiot said on FB, that they post 10 to 20 paragraph long posts (and these are huge paragraphs) over how wrong wrong wrong said idiot is, how could they not see the light of the beautiful ship, how could they even suggest it is not meant to happen, and so on. And I'm just sitting over here thinking, "who gives a fuck?" By reacting in such a panic, it's like validating their words. The funny part is, their words have zero impact on the end game.

I know it's fandom, and we all have that one thing we'll defend to the death. I get it, really. And it's great to have something to discuss, but seeing the same kind of whining over and over gets boring after a while. I'm this close to eyerolling myself out of the community.