fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3496 ]

[ SECRET POST #3496 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3496 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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I'm pretty sure ~98% of the kids on tumblr who claim to be NB/genderfluid are just cis people with a warped understanding of gender presentations/stereotypes.

I'm always a little wary of this narrative that says "trans people's gender discourse took all the meaning out of gender and now these cis kids don't know any better than to call themselves NB!" I think the problem isn't changing notions of gender, but the growing sense that being in some way "queer"* in the best way to be interesting/cool/relevant and the only way to have a voice.

*which I use in quotes here because it's a tricky word and I think often misused, but it is very much the word that tumblr flocks to

Actual trans people are not the problem. Cis people who want to co-opt the attention paid to them in the current media without actually having to change anything about their lifestyle are the problem.

AYRT

My point exactly

NGL, I've had this exact thinking used as a bludgeon against me personally.

Same.

1. That's probably pretty true, though "98%" is really fucking high.
2. There's still no reason to be mean or impolite to people who identify that way. Use whatever fucking pronoun they ask you to, because that's being decent. Are they annoying? They'd be annoying if they weren't NB, just don't hang out with them.

I mean, "nonbinary" is such a vague inexplicable term when you really think about it. You could make the argument that everyone who IDs as nonbinary is really just a cis person or binary trans person.

No way, am I using made up pronouns if someone asks. I will use "she" or "he", maaaaybe "they", but I'm not enabling stupidity. There's a difference between being respectful to someone, and making up new words for them.

maaaaybe "they", but I'm not enabling stupidity. There's a difference between being respectful to someone, and making up new words for them.

maaaaybe "they"

new words for them.

you already seem pretty comfortable with they/them pronouns, buddy lmao.

You're right, I'm very comfortable in "they/them" being existing pronouns. They are words, after all.

Doesn't mean I'm going to say "I met Sally and they asked me to use "they/them" pronouns when referring to them."

Why not? You obviously had no difficulty writing that out.

It's stupid to expect people to adjust their spoken language (which they will inevitably mess up at anyway) to non-traditional or made-up pronouns for your made-up gender.

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Dude: I often think made up pronouns are really stupid too. Especially when they're particularly twee and really only seem to exist to be used in online communities.

But in this life you are going to have to be polite about all sorts of things you think are stupid, because that's being nice. There is literally no reason not to be nice about something this important to people.

AYRT
Nah, I'm not mean or impolite. I generally ignore them. I will use pronouns within a reasonable range, but if I think it's ridiculous I avoid them altogether (and considering I very rarely talk about random people on tumblr in the third person, this isn't actually very hard).

+100000000

especially the second point

WHY DID YOU COVER KSTEW IN RED DOTS

Wait what? Where?

Shit

I doubt it's that high. If you are a non binary young person you are very likely to come across the tumblr community.
The warped understanding of gender presentation/stereotypes bothers me too, but just because they're coming from an immature place and learning about gender from other young and confused people, doesn't mean that they aren't struggling with something real. Anywhere they can be open about it might be of real value to them.

I wish I'd had terminology like "non-binary" or "genderfluid" when I was a teenager in the late 80s/early 90s. Since I didn't have that vocabulary I called myself other things, like "broken," "freak," or "weirdo."

I would put that number at 100%.

Yeppppp.

The funny thing is that nonbinary, genderqueer, and genderfluid are older than they are.

My current rule is to reflexively block shitpost sideblogs, especially if it's a minor.

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