[ SECRET POST #3503 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3503 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Avatar: The Last Airbender]


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[Overwatch]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 56 secrets from Secret Submission Post #500.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Advice Thread

[sparrow_lately]

How does one say "actually, [family member], you're abusive"?

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

With a lawyer's letter.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I generally just stop talking to them at all

Or i guess you can say "you hurt me" but seriously, in my experience confronting abusive family members is never helpful cause they'll just say you're lying/crazy/overreacting so... not worth it.

Re: Advice Thread

[lb_lee]

With the full expectation for all hell to break loose. :p

But really, I guess it depends on your goal. What do you hope to achieve by saying it?

If you're looking for acknowledgment or apology, probably not gonna happen, sadly. If you're trying to clear something with yourself, or help someone else who's still trapped, that's a bit of a different matter.

Re: Advice Thread

[caerbannog]

Well I'd slap them upside the head and tell them they're being a dick. Or if it's my dad I tell him it's time to go for a walk then let him know he's being like (grandfather).

:/

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Have a serious think about whether or not you actually need to say it, what you hope you gain from it (do you want to enlighten them? Rattle their cage? Mic drop and exit?), and whether or not the inevitable fallout will be worth saying your piece.

To be honest, I don't think that phrasing will achieve very much. You surely know that the person in question is unlikely to see themselves as abusive, and such a vague label will make it easier for them to dismiss you for being wimpy and oversensitive. If you want to really nail it to someone, focus on specific behaviors, i.e. "When you belittle my choice of career, that's a shitty thing to do".

Or just go no contact. Not having the toxicity in your life feels better than having the last word.

Re: Advice Thread

[(Anonymous)]

In my case it took calling the cops, but we lived together. And I really hope it doesn't get that far for you.