fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3771 ]

[ SECRET POST #3771 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3771 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #540.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Because sometimes we are our own worst enemies.

I'm mad at myself because I failed in a suicide attempt last month. Nothing makes you angry and depressed than not even being able to kill yourself properly. That is a whole new low in incompetence.

You may have failed at dying, but you win at living. And that's the far better thing, even know f it doesn't feel that way right now.

I'm sorry anon. Suicide attempts can be really painful, my first attempt put me off suicide for years just because of being afraid of everything that went with it if I failed again.

I hope for the best for you, I really do. I hope you're able to figure out a way to live.

I hope you can get better, anon. Maybe someday (even if it doesn't feel like it now) you'll be able to look back and think, "I'm so glad I failed. Now I get to live, and I'm glad." I believe that someday will come for you. Hang in there. You can find peace another way.

My apartment building has four single-car garages all lined up in a row with a drive that narrows at the mouth. Because I'm near an edge, I always have to begin my exit and an angle, straighten out and then back into the street.

Today, I was so pissed at the people who have to make no such maneuver to get out but I swear were taking half my life to put their car in drive and GO once they were in the street,that as soon as they were out of my way, I whipped out as fast as I could, didn't negotiate the angle well and dropped off the curb, fucking up my bumper to a degree that I'm pretty sure it needs replaced.

If this were like a $300 fix,I could handle it no problem, but I think it's going to be somewhere in the $800-$1200 range, which means I either have to put it on one of my credit cards when I am so close to exceptional credit I can taste it and it's just the amount of debt holding me back, or I have to file an insurance claim, still pay $5700 and probably watch my insurance go through the roof.

I can't find out the true cost of repair until tomorrow, so I'm going to spend all day today agonizing over what I should do and will be out a chunk of cash regardless, all because I was an impatient A-hole.

Can't you just live with a scuffed up bumper? The way that most cars in the last fifteen years have been designed vis-a-vis crumple zones and inertia absorbing breakaway panels, if it didn't come off and render the vehicle undrivable right at the time, then the damage is cosmetic. What did you do, scrape the bottom of the splitter on the kerb?

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-01 23:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-01 23:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 00:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 00:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

otakugal15 - 2017-05-02 01:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 04:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 05:29 (UTC) - Expand

I have a list of not-fun stuff to do and I'm currently sat on the floor of my bedroom (okay, on a pile of laundry on the floor) commenting on FS, having an anxiety attack, not doing any of it.

Anon, I will clean the glass plate on my woodburning stove (which hasn't been touched for years) if you deal with your laundry. Do we have a bargain?

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 00:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

hyarrowen - 2017-05-02 04:59 (UTC) - Expand

Deal with the anxiety attack first. For me, being on the internet feels like it will help anxiety but it usually makes it worse. But don't try to deal with a huge list when you're having huge anxiety. One thing at a time! When you feel up to it, make a list, and break it down into the smallest possible elements you can (like step one of doing laundry might just be gathering it all in one area, or step one of hygiene might be brush your teeth or chew some gum). You can do it, just give yourself some time to get past the worst of the anxiety. :)

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 00:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 00:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 05:01 (UTC) - Expand

While I've gained more skills in art I also feel like I've lost a spark I had a few years ago and therefor some of my work is not turning out as great. It's been really frustrating. I feel like I need a style change at this point but it's hard to experiment when I have work to do.

I think they say familiarity breeds contempt, and sometimes it's true. You as an artist will always be more aware of your failings than anyone else, because you know what you want to achieve, and whether you have or not. Everyone else just sees the pretty pictures, you know? They don't know just how much you were attempting, or that, in always trying to stretch yourself and learn, it can get really darn frustrating till you only see the flaws, and stop enjoying it.

idk if this will work for you, but when I feel this way, I switch to another medium, preferably one I haven't tried before. when I was stuck with drawing, I bought some sculpey and started sculpting. it puts your mind in a different space and when you come back to drawing, you're thinking with a different brain and are more open to experimentation. if you don't have clay, you can try digital collaging or crafting or wood carving or w/e. even if you're not good at it, it'll be waking different portions of your brain up.

After almost a decade of being sick, I had the surgery that was meant to fix it about a year and a half ago. But I put too much faith in that surgery to make my life magically better, because I'm still struggling so much with my health now. I'm physically incapable of doing most of the work I could get. My mental health is in the toilet. I'm mad as hell at myself for not being able to get through this shit and get my life back on track.

I'm so sorry, anon! That sounds rough. :( You got through the surgery, even though it didn't fix everything. Hang in there. Even if things never are 100 % perfect you can find things that help a little. Sometimes the big fixes never come, and that can be so disappointing. But you still deserve to live and not blame yourself for your difficulties.

It isn't your fault, anon. Shit happens and sometimes it hasn't got a simple fix. Look after yourself as much as you can in other ways.

{hugs}

SO MANY THINGS. I try not to focus on them because then I have anxiety or panic attacks and spiral into a dark pit of negativity and all "WHY AM I EVEN STILL ALIVE" mental drama.

I am always my own worst enemy.

I'm sorry to hear that. It's definitely not a fun place to be! Don't blame yourself for everything that goes wrong, though. I mean I find the other kind of people super annoying (even dangerous) blaming everyone else for everything that goes wrong but it's not good to blame yourself for EVERYTHING either. You obviously didn't choose to have anxiety, etc.

Failing the Texas bar. I studied as much as I could have. I think I got scared and tense and psyched myself out.

You should feel bad about that. It is Texas law. How hard can it be? It has only two strands to it. Death Penalty or Stood His Ground. And the tie-break between which is the correct legal finding is whomever has the biggest gun at the time. Texas only has one legal text, and that is VHS tape of The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. Even Mad Max has a better functioning and more complex legal system than Texas.

Texas: the fuck 'em all state.

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

philstar22 - 2017-05-02 00:25 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 02:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

philstar22 - 2017-05-02 02:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 02:54 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 00:49 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 19:56 (UTC) - Expand

I'm sorry to hear that! :( But just think, the next time won't be as hard because you know what to expect. If you keep trying, you'll get there.

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

philstar22 - 2017-05-02 00:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 00:35 (UTC) - Expand

I've never failed the Texas bar!

I've never taken it either so you're still doing better than me.

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

philstar22 - 2017-05-02 03:00 (UTC) - Expand

Signed up for driving classes. I know I need to learn but the idea of driving tomorrow terrifies me.

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 00:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

kaijinscendre - 2017-05-02 00:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 00:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

kaijinscendre - 2017-05-02 00:25 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 00:38 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

kaijinscendre - 2017-05-02 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 19:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 00:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

kaijinscendre - 2017-05-02 00:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

philstar22 - 2017-05-02 02:53 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

kaijinscendre - 2017-05-02 02:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What have you done lately that makes you mad?

(Anonymous) - 2017-05-02 15:37 (UTC) - Expand

Not mad but disappointed, I suppose? Not hitting my word count goals. Scraping a curb with my car. Just general small driving mistakes as I gain real world skill levels with my car and driving.

I'm not mad at myself, I'm doing the best I can. I just wish it was a bit better sometimes. :)

Returned to work from 3 weeks holiday.

Yelled at my puppy in frustration. I'm sorry puppy :(

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only