[ SECRET POST #3812 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #3812 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 38 secrets from Secret Submission Post #546.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

[diet_poison]

at the same time I feel very strongly about it, and I think people willing to do it without permission are willing to cross boundaries in other ways too. I also grew up being taught (if indirectly) that it's nice to ask other people what they want to be called. I never really saw that "giving nicknames without permission" thing go down.

It was also a shortening of my name that I really, really, REALLY hate (and it's not a common one - my name is kind of uncommon and isn't really ever shortened) and it sounds cutesy. :|

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

[(Anonymous)]

I've never come across that before. My experience has been that when people give me a nickname it's generally because they like me, not an offensive thing. Likewise, if I object to the nickname and tell them calmly then I've never met anyone who was dick enough to call me something I expressly asked them not to.

On the other hand, if someone blew up at me just because I called them something meant as a way of showing affection then I would definitely think they were a dick and probably unstable. If that was what happened with your friend then I'm not surprised she took it badly. I appreciate you were both coming from different positions on this but it does seem like an overreaction to something that doesn't sound as if it was intended to be offensive.

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

[diet_poison]

I'm raising my eyebrows a bit at "blew up" and "unstable", since those weren't part of the story, but okay.

Anyway - I mean, I guess that's part of my boundary - if I've only known you for a couple of months, and I don't know you well (we weren't close and had only hung out a couple times outside class), I don't want you to be "affectionate" with me. That, to me, is really weird.

I've known a number of people who have trouble with boundaries in various ways - the nickname thing is one, but there are people who just act overly familiar with you almost right off the bat, give loads of unsolicited advice, call you "dear" (and I don't mean in a southern dialect kind of way), etc. I do not like those people and the times I've tried to be friends with them haven't ended well. I don't think that means they're bad people, but they aren't really platonically compatible with me.

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

[(Anonymous)]

I think people willing to do it without permission are willing to cross boundaries in other ways too.

I have literally never had anyone ask permission before giving me a nickname. I've had some people ask what I want to be called, but asking permission for a nickname is definitely not the norm.

You can have your beliefs of course, but I think you should be aware that you could be the odd one out so to speak, and expecting people to understand your reasoning and stance without explanation might be unreasonable, as well as immediately judging them for not having the same belief as you.

Re: Sad or stupid reasons you've parted ways with friends

[diet_poison]

idk maybe it's regional? cultural? I'm not used to nicknames just being randomly assigned, especially not by people you don't know well.

I don't know where you think judging came into it, though.