fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3949 ]

[ SECRET POST #3949 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3949 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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09. https://i.imgur.com/CCSTAru.png
[OP wanted this warned for sexual content, image itself is SFW though]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 10 secrets from Secret Submission Post #565.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Why

I just like the idea of boys caring for each other, platonically or romantically. And here in the good ol' repressed US, you don't see much of that. Granted, you see it now than when I was growing up. And Eleven is just really cute whether she's looking more like a girl or a boy.

I guess

Platonic stuff is cool

It's just weird to want to get rid of female characters to serve that

Make more good things of all types

I mean, are just choosing to ignore the part where I said I like it how it is? I'm not saying "Eleven should be a boy! Get rid of girl Eleven!!"

The way I read what you said in the secret is that (even if it's good as is) it would be better, or you would prefer it, if Eleven was a boy, or that Eleven should have been a boy

Maybe by only a very little bit

But still fundamentally better

If I'm not responding to that right, tell me what to respond to, I don't know man, it's fucking hot out

You're creating a value judgment that doesn't exist. Wanting to see X does not mean not wanting to see Y. It's just that there are two options, and I'd have liked either of them, and I'm commenting on the one we didn't get.

I accept that you meant that in your heart

DA

I'm the anon in the thread below and I had no problem understanding it. But no, it couldn't possibly be you that is wrong! It must be OP that didn't express themselves well enough for you to pick up on, so it must be their fault. Come on. You sound really bad right now.

"wished Eleven had actually been a boy" just seems pretty clear and unambiguous to me. I never said that it was something OP thought or said continuously or wholeheartedly. But the language that they used framed it as a competition, and they could have framed it differently. And of course now I'm being a pedant and falling into all the narratives about anons "misinterpreting" users and "attacking" them when I'm just trying to respond to what OP said in the secret.

Again, whatever, I'm fine leaving it there

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(Anonymous) - 2017-10-26 23:38 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-10-26 23:49 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-10-26 23:56 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2017-10-27 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

I don't think it's weird to want to replace the token female character in a cast. I'd rather have no female characters at all than watch a previously interesting female character get turned into a generic love interest for one of the male characters.

Okay, but your comment sounds like it's describing something that's very much not Stranger Things.

The comment I was replying to read to me like a pretty generic "can't believe you want to erase women for bromance :/" comment rather than one specific to Stranger Thing, but YMMV.

Oh my god, my eyes practically roll into the back of my head when people say stuff like this.

Platonic male relationships are glorified in media, and they’re not difficult to find - especially in the US. We love our male friendships. If anything, we need more platonic male/female friendships portrayed in our media.

DA

For a certain kind of male friendship, this is true. We have plenty of media glorifying "bro"s.

But not all male friendships are like that. I don't remember the last time I've seen a male-male friendship that was more on the caring, nurturing side that wasn't mentor/student or father/son.

Yes, this. Exactly.

I agree in the abstract that we should have more sensitive male friendships and more emotionally open male characters

I'm not sure about framing it as a competition for space in the ecosystem between that and female characters

AYRT

But the anon they were replying to is not framing it as competition for space in the ecosystem. You are reading into it that way.

What the original anon said was, "I just like the idea of boys caring for each other, platonically or romantically. And here in the good ol' repressed US, you don't see much of that."

Which is generally true, besides the "bro" stuff.

If you are citing that as a reason to wish that Eleven actually had been a boy - which is what the secret actually said - then you're setting it up as a competition

Apparently that's not what OP actually meant I guess so whatever

AYRT

I have a hard time figuring why you take

"For a moment"
not still, continuously, currently

"there was a tiny little piece of [OP]"
not all of OP, not wholeheartedly

as "OP did entirely and still do entirely" wish Eleven were a boy instead of, I don't know, "for a second there OP kind of wanted to see that."

What’s the difference between “bros” and “caring male friendships?” Because I don’t have a hard time finding male friendships in popular media where the two guys wax on about how important they are to each other and are willing to die for each other.

AYRT

I'm not sure how to describe the difference, only that it's there and I can tell. Most "bro" type of friendships portrayed in media have a very "you're my bro but we do manly friendships, also we do this for one moment and then we go back to never mentioning feelings again, now back to your regularly scheduled macho inexpressiveness" vibe about them. Usually with a large dose of "no homo"

I don't even mind bro friendships. At least the men get to express emotion and friendship and care that way. But it's almost always portrayed as the emotions being real but expressing them is a moment of weakness and something to be avoided except at the climaxes of dramas when its do or die because you have to be callous to each other the rest of the time or else it's ~weird~, instead of being regular caring friendships

Oh, okay. I get what you’re saying. Sorry for snapping at you. And yeah, the “no homo” thing is always there with a lot of deep male friendships in media which is annoying.

It's fine, I understand where you're coming from too. The scenes of men being all "but bro, you're my best bro!" or deciding to choose the friend over the love interest are really common. We all love the idea of deep best-friendships and I'm no exception, lol.

I just wish most of them didn't have to be practically dragged out of every character at metaphorical or literal gunpoint with the implication that normal men don't normally do or say any of that

SA

I thought of one! Samwise and Frodo were a good example of a serious caring friendship. I wish these were less rare.

Yep. Eleven x Mike having a platonic friendship, or the group itself being all girls with one boy, would have been much more out-of-the-ordinary and interesting.

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