fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3998 ]

[ SECRET POST #3998 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3998 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 12 secrets from Secret Submission Post #572.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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This is obviously gonna discuss some unpleasant things so avoid it if you know it’ll bother you.

Probably yes. But then again, if by some small cruel twist of fate I accidentally found myself pregnant I'd probably abort regardless.

This is what I was going to say. I don't want kids. At all.

This.

The best thing you can do for a child in this current climate is to not have a child at all.

Re: Would you abort if you knew your kid would have a severe developmental disability?

(Anonymous) - 2017-12-15 06:00 (UTC) - Expand

Same. I don't sleep with men so it's not going to happen anyway, but if it somehow did, I'd get an abortion no matter what because I don't want kids.

That's probably not something I'd have any sort of answer to until I was actually in the situation.

(Yes, I realize that's a cop - out answer, but how can you so sure once your actually in that situation?)

Yeah, that's the real answer. My head tells me if I knew early on in the pregnancy that my kid would have a severe disability, I'd probably abort. But later in the pregnancy? I don't think I can say what I'd do until I was in that situation.

Probably, although I might feel like shit about it depending on what exactly the issue was. I have two living blood relatives, four relatives total, and all of them are my parents’ generation and likely to die way before me. I’m 34 and a virgin who’s never even held hands with a guy, so I’m not likely to marry into a big family. I have very few friends, none of them close. Even assuming I went to a bar and found someone desperate enough to knock me up tonight, by the time the kid was born I’d be 35. I don’t know if I could be a single parent to an able bodied mentally gifted kid, nevermind if they had special needs, and I’d hate to think of what would happen when I grew too old and/or feeble to care for them. If I had a kid, disabled or developmentally delayed or not, I’d have to care for and raise them, and I doubt I could do it alone.

Yes.

No. My sister has Downs Syndrome. It's a condition that's "disappearing" worldwide because of abortion. I have strong feelings about that. When she was born, it wasn't legal to abort, but the docs said she'd be a vegetable and they should put her in a home and forget her. Frankly, I find both suggestions appalling. There have been HUGE strides in what's possible for DS people to experience and do, and life quality, education, all of it. Maybe not perfect yet, but I bet we'd be farther along with a lot of developmentally challenged issues (and people) if the conversation wasn't constantly revolving around whether they deserve to even be born. TBH not gonna look at replies to this; it's an emotional topic for me and I know someone will be an asshole. But yeah, it hurts...

Re: Would you abort if you knew your kid would have a severe developmental disability?

dani_phantasma - 2017-12-15 00:07 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Would you abort if you knew your kid would have a severe developmental disability?

comma_chameleon - 2017-12-15 00:18 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Would you abort if you knew your kid would have a severe developmental disability?

otakugal15 - 2017-12-15 01:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Would you abort if you knew your kid would have a severe developmental disability?

(Anonymous) - 2017-12-15 01:33 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Would you abort if you knew your kid would have a severe developmental disability?

(Anonymous) - 2017-12-15 09:56 (UTC) - Expand

DA

(Anonymous) - 2017-12-15 21:32 (UTC) - Expand

Re: DA

(Anonymous) - 2017-12-15 23:05 (UTC) - Expand

Yes. Kids are going to face challenges in their life no matter what, so I'd want them to have the best possible starting point.

Yes. I mean, I wouldn't have a kid anyways if I could help it, but I am not the person you want looking after someone with special needs. I am the person that will become resentful and spiteful, because that's how I was when my Dad's health degraded. Not proud of it, but there you go. Why the heck would I want to subject someone who's never going to know better to that? And throwing them into the system may as well be the same as throwing them to a pack of hungry bears for as well as that might go.

Yes. I'd abort (or, I guess, encourage my partner to abort) a kid with any severe disability.

I live in constant, often extreme pain. I suffer from mental illness. I wouldn't be willing to inflict either of those on the worst people in the world, let alone a child. To me, it would be the most selfish and monstrous thing, I can't imagine myself ever being on board with it. Making a choice between never letting a child suffer, or bringing a child into the world where they will suffer horribly? There's no way I'd be on board with that.

And it wouldn't just be suffering for that child, though that's bad enough. It would be added suffering for me, for my partner. It would be knowingly signing on to take care of this child forever, in a way that I'm not equipped for. And what happens to this now-adult child when we get too old to take care of them? When we die? Or even just when the financial burden is more than we can handle?

Re: Would you abort if you knew your kid would have a severe developmental disability?

(Anonymous) - 2017-12-15 05:26 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Would you abort if you knew your kid would have a severe developmental disability?

soldatsasha - 2017-12-15 18:52 (UTC) - Expand

Depends on the disability.

If it's LITERALLY gonna be the kid is bedridden and can't EVER take care of themselves?

YES

If they are Downs or Asperger's or something like that? No. I'll just have to work on my patience.

Depends heavily on quality of life and if I felt like I could provide for them. Like my own health's not great and I don't have much of a support network, so the thought of them ending up in a government care facility to get sexually abused for the rest of their life? Or if I know for sure it's a disability that will cause them lifelong pain.

Like someone I 'knew' online aborted because her family carries a genetic condition that stops bone from developing. Her relatives with a mild version of it had to endure a lot of awful surgery and had lifelong pain. Her son was diagnosed in-utero with the most severe form, and was missing arms, legs, parts of spine and ribcage, and skull. He had a poor chance of survival outside the womb and would require torturous medical intervention for extremely poor quality of life. She aborted, I'd do the same.

But autism? Downs? Other conditions where they can be happy and free of pain? Not as long as I was capable of providing for them.

Moot point though, no real chance I could ever end up pregnant.

Yes, because I could not cope with such a child, I would be able to give the child a decent life, plus having to go through a pregnancy at this point in my life may be risky - something which my surgeon has said to me (and yes, I do mean surgeon - I have had intestinal surgery and I have regular checkups to keep track of my health, so they guy who was helping the main surgeon is now the head of the gastroenterology department at the hospital).

I would note, I consider myself pro-choice but wish that the need for abortion was rare.

The only way I would ever get pregnant in the first place is through rape, and I would not keep that pregnancy long enough to find out if anything was wrong with the fetus unless someone forced me to.

Yes. I know I do not have what it takes to care for a special needs child, particularly one with severe developmental issues. But then I don't want kids period, and I have a family history of mental health issues, so chances are that I would have an abortion regardless.

I don't want to be pregnant ever, so I'd abort regardless.

Posted this in a subthread by mistake oops.

Probably, although I might feel like shit about it depending on what exactly the issue was. I have two living blood relatives, four relatives total, and all of them are my parents’ generation and likely to die way before me. I’m 34 and a virgin who’s never even held hands with a guy, so I’m not likely to marry into a big family. I have very few friends, none of them close. Even assuming I went to a bar and found someone desperate enough to knock me up tonight, by the time the kid was born I’d be 35. My mom died at 66 and my dad at 60. So they might end up in the care of strangers and/or a ward of the state for most of their life.

I don’t know if I could be a single parent to an able bodied mentally gifted kid, nevermind if they had special needs, and I’d hate to think of what would happen when I grew too old and/or feeble to care for them. If I had a kid, disabled or developmentally delayed or not, I’d have to care for and raise them, and I doubt I could do it alone. It wouldn’t be fair to a healthy kid to have one and not be able to take care of them, much less a kid that would need to rely on other people for basic care their whole life.

Absolutely. I don't feel it's fair to knowingly inflict any sort of severe health issue on a child when they don't have any say in the matter, and I say this as someone who has several serious genetic health issues.

Yeah.

For me, it really depends on the severity. If there is absolutely no chance for any kind of decent life or if said life would be short (basically, birth would be fatal to the baby, anyway), that would be the only circumstance I can see myself going through with an abortion for.

Autism and Downs Syndrome? No, I wouldn't, even though I know having those conditions will make it harder for them to be adopted (I need help caring for myself due to physical and mental diagnoses; there's no way I could care for any type of child, even a perfectly healthy one).

Yes. No hesitation.

Tbqh I'd take the Singer approach and say it's not really morally defensible to do anything but.

I knew it. There must be some secretive agent operative lurking and collecting data in fandomsecrets.(not just moments of this issues.... maybe, soon-to-be popped issues)

Conspiracies confirmed.

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