[ SECRET POST #4054 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4054 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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03.
[Spirited Away]


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04.
[Death Comes to Pemberley]


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05.
[The Detective, season 1]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 09 secrets from Secret Submission Post #580.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Awkward friend situations

[(Anonymous)]

So, one of my friends just got a new haircut today and asked me what I think of it. And... I think it looks terrible and doesn't flatter her at all, but I can't exactly say that. But I also can't in good conscience lie and say it looks good either because I really don't think it does.

What should I say, anons? I honestly don't know how to respond.

Re: Awkward friend situations

[(Anonymous)]

You think the old style or [insert other style] suits her better because positive reasons A B and C. e.g. "I think longer hair suits you better, it framed your faceorwhatever and flattered your whateverfacepart more"?

Re: Awkward friend situations

[(Anonymous)]

That's a good idea, thanks! I may try that one. I've been trying all day to come up with some sort of compliment about the new style but I just can't, so that seems like a much better way of approaching things.

Re: Awkward friend situations

[(Anonymous)]

Avoid talking to her until it grows out so you don't have to lose your imaginary moral high ground by saying a friend's hair looks fine.

Re: Awkward friend situations

[(Anonymous)]

I have no problem with white lies myself, but if OP is not comfortable with that, why belittle the OP's motivations as an "imaginary moral high ground"?

Re: Awkward friend situations

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah I'm just not comfortable lying about stuff a) because I'm not comfortable lying in general and b) I wouldn't want my friends to feel obliged to lie to me in a situation like that, you know? I would rather they just told me the truth instead of trying to make me feel good.

Re: Awkward friend situations

[(Anonymous)]

What about something like 'wow, that's a huge change! did you just feel like mixing it up or something?'

Re: Awkward friend situations

[(Anonymous)]

+1. Came here to say almost the exact same thing. Just switch it to a question and a discussion. "Wow, that's a big change! How are you liking it?"

Although if she's feeling anxious, she may press you on it. You can either find something you like about it, or just tell her that it's a bold change and good for her.

Re: Awkward friend situations

[(Anonymous)]

Tell them they're beautiful.

Re: Awkward friend situations

[(Anonymous)]

I'm gonna be the weird one here, but as someone who just changed her hair drastically, I'm on the fence if I like it and hope that people tell me if it looks bad. Especially since I don't want it to look bad to someone I'm crushing badly on, while I'm okay with my new look, it's something I don't think I'd stick with if people found it unflattering.

Re: Awkward friend situations

[(Anonymous)]

You know your friend best so you know how much criticism she can take. However, you need to keep in mind that this isn't like an unflattering clothes purchase that they can return or at worst just not wear, this is something they'll be stuck with for the next few months. Because of that, emphasizing how bad it looks will never be helpful. I think even saying that the old cut was more flattering right off the bat might not go over well because your friend will be stuck thinking that they now look permanently bad until the cut grows out.

If she really presses you on it, I'd say something like, 'To be honest I did like your old cut more. However that may just be my style preference. The important thing is whether you like it and think it looks good. Do you like it? What made you decide on the change?' That way you start a more detached discussion and based on what she says afterwards you can either give feedback on the aspects of her old hairstyle that you liked, or keep your mouth shut because she loves the new look.