fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #4282 ]

[ SECRET POST #4282 ]

⌈ Secret Post #4282 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Colette]

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03.

[Sara Sidle on CSI]

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04.

[Criminal Minds]

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05.

[Step by Step, Cody/Dana]

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06.

[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]

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07.

[Mad Men]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #613.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't understand this. I am technically pansexual but I hate being labelled. I am a person and I love other people, regardless of what they have between their legs. I think all of these labels smack of special snowflake syndrome and are actually harmful to the LGBTQ community. The majority of people are surely sick to death of hearing about all of these labels and so-called genders and I am one of them.

Goddammit no.

Labels aren't bad, in and of themselves. Finding a way to talk about who you are is a good thing. The problem comes when they become a tool for gatekeeping or endless internecine warfare. And talking about "special snowflake syndrome" and "so-called genders" is helping fucking no one.

I really think a lot of people would agree with me. I am totally 100% proud of what I am and who I choose to love but have zero interest in giving it a 'special' name. Being human is special enough. It should be special enough for everyone. There are not seven billion genders, only seven billion individuals on this earth. No two people are the same and no two people feel the same inside. Different genders - no. Different people- yes.

Being human is special enough.

OK! It's fine that you feel this way.

It should be special enough for everyone

No, goddammit. What gives you the right?

Of course every human being is unique and specific. Of course. At the same time, there are patterns and trends across people, and there are concepts and categories that we build on top of that. Those things don't overwrite the person involved. The person is still there. But they're useful, they help people describe themselves, and they're meaningful, they help people come to an understanding of themselves that's true even if it's not universal. Those labels don't have to work for you to work for some people.

I'm not disputing how you feel. You are entitled to feel how you feel. But, yes, it is not how I personally feel about the situation. What I am saying is that I think it can have a damaging effect and this entire secret and thread is about that damaging effect.

First of all, if the labels are legitimate and true, doesn't that matter more than the reactions of the ignorant?

Second, which specific people are doing it? What's causing harm and with whom?

Re: +1

(Anonymous) - 2018-09-25 00:31 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2018-09-25 01:54 (UTC) - Expand

da

(Anonymous) - 2018-09-25 01:55 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2018-09-25 02:19 (UTC) - Expand

As with all things - one can say that only about themselves and if there is a seven gender limit to yourself then no one can tell you to consider more, same as you cannot make that decision for another person. We all are from different cultures, have different histories and linguistic experience and we do not even agree on humans being special unless you mean 'special' as in 'plague that Earth needs to get rid off'. Annnnd - you are totally free to think otherwise but let me not care about anyone's gender but my own and hate humanity.

I don't know how to put what I'm feeling about your comment, but it's basically like being forced to drink charcoal. It's disgusting.

Labels are fucking fine, ya asswipe. You sound pretentious as fuck right now, not enlightened, and like the billions of straight people who tell me it's ~just a label~ when I say I'm lesbian.

Nobody is saying you a just 'calling' yourself a lesbian. If anyone does, then ignore them - they do not understand you and that is not your problem - you choose to live your life the way you wish and love the people you want. You misinterpret my comment. I believe everyone should live their lives the way they wish. I simply do not think that the amount of labels and genders that seem to exist now is a good thing. I think it has a damaging effect.

What damaging effect?

I think that there are straight people out there - even now, even in 2018 - who think that LGBTQ people are attention seekers or people that just want to be different or quirky somehow, like it's the cool thing to be. I personally find this extremely offensive. But I think that having ninety six gazillion genders etc only further promotes the belief by ignorant people that it's a status/fashion symbol and like some kind of slogan badge we wear to be cool.

For the record - I, myself, am pan, and extremely proud of being of being LGBTQ and a woman who loves other women.

The ignorant are ignorant and wrong.

Re: +1

(Anonymous) - 2018-09-25 00:27 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2018-09-25 02:21 (UTC) - Expand

I understand what you mean but 1. In offline, adult spaces, especially non academic ones that do have somewhat different norms, there aren’t a lot of people running around shouting about being niche tumblr identities - and I’m sure anyone who is openly non binary at all would tell you it is not easy and fun and 2. What you are saying comes a little close to respectability politics for my taste :/

And they'd think we're attention-seekers regardless! Surprise! That doesn't make LGBT people wrong, that makes homophobes and transphobes wrong!

And always there's the question: Why would anyone want to be pretend to be LGBTQ when it's a marginalised group? Is it cool to be scared for your life?

Would you happen to have any opinions about trans folk?

Like I have said here, I think all people should be entitled to live how they wish and trans people are beautiful wonderful people like everyone else. But why am I so wrong for wishing that we could just jack in all of this label nonsense so that people could be judged for the beautiful people they are and not have ignorant folk form opinions of them before they even walk into the room. A beautiful person is a beautiful person.

Because you're implicitly asking trans people (or whoever else) not to look be their identities in so doing. Because those labels do matter even if not to you.

Re: +1

(Anonymous) - 2018-09-25 00:40 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2018-09-25 02:38 (UTC) - Expand

you're wrong for assuming that your experience is universal, basically

and that all the people who are saying "dismissing all value in labels hurts me" are just, idk drinking the kool-aid of "label nonsense" just because it isn't valuable to YOU

humans are a highly social and linguistic species, and for many people, being able to define their identity in terms that connect them to other people who share their experiences is a hugely important and validating PART of "living how they wish", and also a hugely important part of successfully expressing their wants, needs, and identity to people who don't share it

"trans" was hugely important to my brother when he was explaining to my dad, a Chill Feminist Dude, that he wouldn't be *happy* just being butch/a tomboy, that it was about something more than gender roles. and finding other people who used that label talking about their experiences was probably also important to him in figuring out that was what would make him happy himself!

A beautiful person is NOT just a beautiful person. My brother told me that one of the experiences that really confirmed his identity to himself, was when he got All Dressed Up for junior prom before transition. He looked in the mirror and thought, very clearly: "That person is a beautiful person, but it's not me." All his experience of hating his appearance was not about our culture teaching women to hate their bodies, it was just that it was the wrong body. He wasn't a beautiful person. He's a beautiful man. And he needed trans to bridge that gap.

If you still can't understand, then you should consider that your lack of understanding is less important than not hurting people by insisting that your opinion on something you can't understand is more important than their hurt.

TL:DR - as any cat will tell you, finding a box that fits and getting in it yourself is very different from someone else putting you in box. And if there are a bunch, sometimes humans are going to trip over a box that someone else loves very much.

(Does tumblr get extreme and silly about it sometimes? Sure. But that's kind of what teenagers are supposed to do. I say as long as their aren't suicide baiting people, let them explore and be as silly as they want.)

Re: +1

(Anonymous) - 2018-09-25 02:17 (UTC) - Expand

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cakemage - 2018-09-25 05:24 (UTC) - Expand

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ayebydan - 2018-09-25 21:25 (UTC) - Expand

Re: +1

(Anonymous) - 2018-09-25 15:09 (UTC) - Expand

Glad to know I’m not the only lesbian who clenched when I saw that comment. “It’s just a label” has definitely been used against me, usually in tandem with “well why are you ruling out men????”

Ex-fucking-xactly. Usually by men who want me to date them specifically. :/

For what it's worth, anon, I'm also over labels. They have a place, and they can help people put words and validation toward the spectrum of feelings they might feel, as well as make important social change by instigating broad-scale conversations. But most labels are pretty dumb and I want as little as possible to do with them myself. I'm gay and I think that.

Great! That's fine!

The problem is the person you're replying to is going, "Well, gee, we're all SUPER SPECIAL and you should just be happy to be human!!! That's special enough and NO ONE should need labels!!!!"

Honestly, you guys are the ones being dicks in this thread, not her. And frankly, I'm in agreement that most of the spectrum labels are special snowflake nonsense, so come at me.

I would have no problems with her if not for her holier-than-thou-I'm-so-~ENLIGHTENED~ shit about "NO ONE NEEDS LABELS AND WE'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM TEE FUCKING HEE AREN'T I SO SMART?" bullshit.

Get off to sandpaper, for all I care. The moment you're of the opinion that no one should use labels ever, I'm going to think you're a bigot.